I'm in need of a little bit of advice

[Longdistancenurse]

Hi there,
I was wondering if anyone might be able to offer me some advice about this situation:
Basically, I'm in my 3rd and final year of college, studying 4 hours away from my hometown and my SO. We've been long distance the whole 3 years which has been really emotional, I think more so for me rather than him. There is a very real chance that I might be able to get a job here which is great and what I've been studying towards but my issue is my other half. When we are together it's perfect, we're very much in love and we've been talking about getting engaged. The only sticking point is the distance. We've been talking about him moving here for a while now and last year we even looked at apartments together, but nothing ever seemed to work out.
I know it must be difficult for him to move away from his family (even though he says he doesn't mind), I just don't think I can stand being long distance any more. There's not really any scope for me moving closer to him because there's no jobs for me there, whereas there are lots of job opportunities for him in the city where I live.
My question is, if I do get a job here and he still stays at home all that distance away, should I just call it quits and end things between us despite how good we are when we're together? Any advice would be very much appreciated.

[sasad]

Only you can answer that question. No one here can tell you how to feel and what to feel.
Love is also about making concessions and compromises to be with someone that you want to be with . You're the one that needs to decide what you need to continue to go and grow.

[Mims27]

You both are the only ones who can answer that. You will have to sit down and talk about your options and what you both. The "joys" of an LDR is that one of two is bound to move to the other. It definitely not an easy thing to talk about but it has to be done. *hugs* Good luck

[MissingMyDutchLove]

As they said, you have to make that decision, but the kicker is that you and your SO have to make it together. I personally believe that if you love someone enough, you will make the necessary sacrifices to keep your relationship going. You should never have to ask him to move to you, but unfortunately it seems like you do. With that being said, moving is very scary, especially if he is close to his family. Is there are third city you could move to that's closer to his family but still has jobs for you? Some people on here disagree with me, but I think that somethings gotta give. When you're LD, at the end of the time one of you (or both) have to be willing to move to make it work as a CD couple. I would suggest trying to talk to him about this. You both have to have a serious conversation about where things are going for you. If you are planning on getting engaged, how would it work? Would you be a LD marriage or plan to close the distance before then? He clearly has thought about those questions a little if you two were talking about it, so just see what's on his mind and whether or not he's willing to make some sacrifices for you and move. Best of luck to you!

[Alle1770]

Like everyone else has said, only you two can answer that. Maybe look at some of the important things - where is it more expensive to live? Where will it be easier to get jobs? Who "gives up" the most? There's a lot of stuff to consider, and I know it can be really tough - I'm in the middle of it myself! Like Mims said, the bad part about LDR's is that one person is bound to leave their country at some point. I know some people that have solved it with living in each country for a few years, then moving to the other, and so forth, but that only really works if you have your own business or can work from abroad and stuff. Having to find a new job every 4 years would be tough I think. But I'm sure you guys will be able to figure it out - just talk it through thoroughly and see if you can reach some conclusions. Best of luck