Backwards and In Need
So, what I mean by backwards is that I'm not leaving my lover during college, I actually only get to see him while I'm in college.
We both go to school in Florida and we've been very close every day. I'm a very interactive person and I love being physically close to people I love and those who love me. Some tried to call it separation anxiety but I'm no psychiatrist. It was difficult to be away from my family during this time but Obiki made it easier. On holidays it was very difficult being a part from him and although we were both able to meet each others' families and stay over during a few holidays, I have a very large problem with distances that has plagued me for a long time from childhood reasons. Unfortunately, he has had to feel the full force of that over this summer.
We had originally made plans for him to stay with me since work opportunities and connections were better down here and his family had agreed as well. Then, last minute during finals week, they decided they wanted him home and I was devastated. We hadn't come up with any kinds of plans or had time to develop a schedule or figure out what we were going to do. I was miserable and the first couple weeks I went back and forth from trying to be sweet to an enraged jerk. Since we've both gotten into forums and ideas, it's made it more interesting for me because I've been able to be creative with it but I'm worried.
This summer I was supposed to work on my articles for a study blog I'm writing for a school club. I also have a summer online class I'm taking and while I can focus on that for a while, every other creative part of me goes to trying to do something for him. He's not very creative and I try not to pressure him into putting in the same effort as I do because I understand my mind works in completely different ways than his (this has been known for a long time. I can come up with fort date nights with pizzas and movies but I'm still very grateful when he comes home with a random soda and snack because that's his version of being creative. Neither of us expects any more or less from the other). I'm just worried that I'm putting in too much and I'm becoming locked on to doing creative things for him. He looks at sites and notes that talking too frequently and having an over load from one side or both can be damaging and while I know he didn't say it to discourage my antics, I'm still worried that I'm putting too much output. What can I do to focus on other things or tone down what I'm trying to do for him?
We both go to school in Florida and we've been very close every day. I'm a very interactive person and I love being physically close to people I love and those who love me. Some tried to call it separation anxiety but I'm no psychiatrist. It was difficult to be away from my family during this time but Obiki made it easier. On holidays it was very difficult being a part from him and although we were both able to meet each others' families and stay over during a few holidays, I have a very large problem with distances that has plagued me for a long time from childhood reasons. Unfortunately, he has had to feel the full force of that over this summer.
We had originally made plans for him to stay with me since work opportunities and connections were better down here and his family had agreed as well. Then, last minute during finals week, they decided they wanted him home and I was devastated. We hadn't come up with any kinds of plans or had time to develop a schedule or figure out what we were going to do. I was miserable and the first couple weeks I went back and forth from trying to be sweet to an enraged jerk. Since we've both gotten into forums and ideas, it's made it more interesting for me because I've been able to be creative with it but I'm worried.
This summer I was supposed to work on my articles for a study blog I'm writing for a school club. I also have a summer online class I'm taking and while I can focus on that for a while, every other creative part of me goes to trying to do something for him. He's not very creative and I try not to pressure him into putting in the same effort as I do because I understand my mind works in completely different ways than his (this has been known for a long time. I can come up with fort date nights with pizzas and movies but I'm still very grateful when he comes home with a random soda and snack because that's his version of being creative. Neither of us expects any more or less from the other). I'm just worried that I'm putting in too much and I'm becoming locked on to doing creative things for him. He looks at sites and notes that talking too frequently and having an over load from one side or both can be damaging and while I know he didn't say it to discourage my antics, I'm still worried that I'm putting too much output. What can I do to focus on other things or tone down what I'm trying to do for him?