Worth it?

[Pinkxoxoxo]

Hi,
I need some advice! I've been wth my boyfriend for around 9 months and been in a LDR for a month. We've always had a wonderful relationship, had no issues when we were living in the same city and still rarely argue now. He is living half way round the world for a year to go to college. I went out to visit him when he first moved, and we spent just over two weeks together there, where I met all his new friends and flat mates etc. We now have a 3 month wait until I see him again for two weeks. After this there will be another 5 months before we're together again.

The issue is wth me, I'm really struggling not being with him. He's wonderful and texts me everyday and we Skype occasionally, although this tends to always end with me in tears. I feel like I'm depressed all the time until the moment I hear from him. I feel like I can't live my life, I just spend time waiting for him to message me. I understand he has his own life and I don't expect him to text me 247, the problem is definitely with me. I've had the usual advice of keep yourself busy but it's not helping. I have a very active social life, am busy with work, college and the gym a lot and have lots of friends and family. But I feel so disconnected from it all. I cant concentrate on anything or achieve anything. I feel like I'm wasting my life waiting!!

I really love this guy and don't want to break up at all, he's wonderful and we have a great relationship. I just need to learn to be less reliant on him for my happiness I think, any suggestions?? Anyone else feeling like this??? I can't go on like this for the rest of the year until he returns.

[Redheart14]

Hi and welcome. Sadly I'd just probably say what you don't want to hear: keep yourself busy.
This thread may help you so give it a look.
https://members.lovingfromadistance....502-New-to-LDR
I know, it's hard, but you don't want this to impact on your relationship. You can see a light at the end to the distance. You're lucky, as lots of people here are still waiting to meet their SO or have no idea when they can even attempt to close the distance. I'm not having a go at you, I'm (hopefully) getting you to look on the bright side. A life outside your partner is a good thing, it'll give you more to talk about other than"I miss you" which, as nice as it is to hear, it does get old only saying that in your convos (I've been there). This forum is great for support, take a look around. I draw a lot of inspiration from members on here, I hope that you find it useful. Hope I've helped in some way.

[R&R]

Keeping busy is good and it sounds like you are doing that. Now, it's your attitude you have to adjust. It's going to take time, but you can do it. You have to make yourself be positive about the good things in your life, your relationship, etc. Every night, write down 3, 4, 5 things that made it a good day for you as an individual. Then write down a few things that you are looking forward to when you see each other again. The more positivity you put into it, the better you are going to feel.

I'm not saying you aren't going to have bad days - but when you start your day that way and then just continue to feed that attitude, feelings and general disconnection, then that is what you are going to get and how you will be.

[graymatter]

What really helped me when I felt the way you're feeling now was making new friends and getting involved at school. I'm not sure what you're currently doing, whether it is school or working or living life in general, but when I made these friends I had so much support from all of them. Because I spend so much time with them in my organization, I don't have time to be sad or dwell on the distance. It sounds like a hard thing to accomplish, and it was for me because it took me a while to put myself out there, but it made things a lot better for both myself and him as well.