Need advice

[Of1234]

My boyfriend and I have been in a LDR for over a year now due to his traveling for a sport. He plays hockey and because of this he's always traveling and moving to new places. He finally committed to playing at a school that is five hours away from me. This is something he has wanted for a long time. Im finishing up my last year at community college before I transfer to a four year college. I'm living with my parents right now and working. I don't really have any friends to hangout with because they're all away at school and I feel very lonely. i try to keep myself busy but I just end up dwelling upon what he could be doing or when he'll call/text me back. Lately we've been fighting a lot and that's mostly my fault. I pick fights with him because I'm starting to resent him for constantly traveling and never being able to see me. He tries when he can but his hockey schedule pretty much inhibits that. I also don't like that his hockey friends mostly just care about getting wasted any chance they can and how they talk about girls. I don't want to hold him back from enjoying college but those things make me even more insecure on top of the distance. I know in the back of my mind that he won't cheat on me but still, I don't know if I want to keep living this way. I find it hard to go about my daily life because of my feeling of disconnect to him. And I feel as though he doesn't feel this way because he's always the one leaving rather than the one being left. I don't want to be without him but I feel as though there's no compromise to have both of us happy. I don't want him to give up hockey but I also don't want to stay this unhappy. He's asked me to transfer to his school next year but it's not that good of a school and i want to get a good education. He tells me that I'm complaining but that I'm not doing anything about it to fix it.

[R&R]

You are right that he should continue with hockey and the school that he is at. Even though we are in relationships, it's important to maintain our individuality and grow as our own people as well as in relationships.

You are 19 years old. This is a big time of transition, growth and learning for you. You've stepped out of the comfort of high school, you are an adult and you are starting to really figure out who you are. Many of your friends have left and are starting making new friends and learning about a new area. You need to make new friends as well. Check out the groups at school and see if any of them interest you. Find meet ups in your area so you can meet new people that you know like the same things as you do. Make sure that you are becoming more rounded as an individual. Don't choose to go to a college just because your SO is there. You need to be looking at your future as an individual and making the best choices for you.

College is a time that can really make or break a couple, even if they go to the same college. It's a whole new world out there compared to the comparitively small world we've lived in until then. It's important to support each others growth. You may find that the distance makes you stronger or you may decide that right now, the relationship isn't going to work for you any longer. Remember that you need to be happy too but don't ask someone to sacrifice what makes them happy to reach that goal.

[NewToLongDistance2016]

My boyfriend and I have been in a LDR for over a year now due to his traveling for a sport. He plays hockey and because of this he's always traveling and moving to new places. He finally committed to playing at a school that is five hours away from me. This is something he has wanted for a long time. Im finishing up my last year at community college before I transfer to a four year college. I'm living with my parents right now and working. I don't really have any friends to hangout with because they're all away at school and I feel very lonely. i try to keep myself busy but I just end up dwelling upon what he could be doing or when he'll call/text me back. Lately we've been fighting a lot and that's mostly my fault. I pick fights with him because I'm starting to resent him for constantly traveling and never being able to see me. He tries when he can but his hockey schedule pretty much inhibits that. I also don't like that his hockey friends mostly just care about getting wasted any chance they can and how they talk about girls. I don't want to hold him back from enjoying college but those things make me even more insecure on top of the distance. I know in the back of my mind that he won't cheat on me but still, I don't know if I want to keep living this way. I find it hard to go about my daily life because of my feeling of disconnect to him. And I feel as though he doesn't feel this way because he's always the one leaving rather than the one being left. I don't want to be without him but I feel as though there's no compromise to have both of us happy. I don't want him to give up hockey but I also don't want to stay this unhappy. He's asked me to transfer to his school next year but it's not that good of a school and i want to get a good education. He tells me that I'm complaining but that I'm not doing anything about it to fix it.

That can be extremely hard, regardless of having a LDR or not. There was a time in my life that I didn't have much going on and I was single at the time. I was very resentful towards myself because I had no one to be w/. Get yourself out there, find a social activity to meet new people. You can even volunteer somewhere. Try to occupy yourself and do things for yourself. You feel this way because you feel like you don't have anything going on while he is travelling and getting out into the world. One thing for sure, you do not want to keep living this way, take it from me. Have something in your life other then him, something you enjoy. Wishing you all the best and understand that a lot of people go through these types of periods in their life.