New to my LDR, need help coping and getting back on my feet

[Nightfire14]

Hey everyone! I'm new to this site and I am looking for new friends and support. My BF and I have been together for a year and a half. We met at our college (we are both music majors so we were taking alot of the same classes). We fell in love and tackled college together for 3 semesters. This semester, he could not afford it so they sent him home to take the semester off. Now I am still here continuing with my degree without him, but of course every class I have, it is a painful reminder that he is no longer here. You may think of me as stupid because he is only a hour and a half away but it is still incredibly painful for me. I have separation anxiety disorder and general anxiety disorder. I spend all of my time with him and suddenly, within hours, he was taken away. The nights are unbearable and the mornings are worse. I need help from others, I cant do this on my own. He is going to be getting a job and I have school so we can't visit that often. Plus he has extremely controling parents that are not fond of me and are not thrilled about us visiting. They dont let him do anything and they degrade him every day. He has a weak wifi so Im not sure how video calls will be or anything online. I need help. I need people to talk to or be my friend or keep me busy because I have been unstable since he left and I see a long road ahead. Please, any help is appreciated...
God bless..

[sasad]

Hi there.. If you need help, i would suggest a doctor or perhaps a school counselor. It's really not healthy to not be able to survive without your SO. Yes, trust me on this, we ALL miss our SO, but we and you , have to learn how to have your life without being dependent on his. Having a strong healthy relationship should enhance it, not make it so you can not function. That you have become unstable is a bit of a concern.

You are in school. Can you find clubs or meet ups in the area to keep you busy? Do you live on or off campus?
He can always go to Starbucks and do vid calls with you. Text and write and make plans for dates together.

Keep on with your education, you should be close to finishing. Are you working? What are your plans after school is done?

[Loveyoumore]

Its hard as hell but you must have a life outside of your guy because if you dont it will drive you crazy, then you will drive him crazy & he will go away. Its hard to keep busy but is so needed... pick up a hobby... find new friends in similair situations. Remember he missies you just as much as you miss him. You can do this take it one day at a time. Have hope...you are'nt alone.
Anxiety makes everything 2000 times harder i know, you have to find ways to cope & handle stress...cause stress makes anxiety worse. Counseling, meds, breathing excersizes are all good places to start.

[lovestoread]

Hi there.. If you need help, i would suggest a doctor or perhaps a school counselor. It's really not healthy to not be able to survive without your SO. Yes, trust me on this, we ALL miss our SO, but we and you , have to learn how to have your life without being dependent on his. Having a strong healthy relationship should enhance it, not make it so you can not function. That you have become unstable is a bit of a concern.

You are in school. Can you find clubs or meet ups in the area to keep you busy? Do you live on or off campus?
He can always go to Starbucks and do vid calls with you. Text and write and make plans for dates together.

Keep on with your education, you should be close to finishing. Are you working? What are your plans after school is done?

I agree,you should definitly see a doctor,join a club,make new friends,go out and meet new people

[Nightfire14]

Hey guys, thank you all for replying to my thread. I appreciate anything I can get. Heres a bit of an update. Please bear with me because its not as positive...

I went to the Behavioral Health Center near my college and they want to do a psychiatric evaluation on me and get me medication but they say that they cant see me for another few weeks. They also wanted to see if they can get me into hypnotherapy because talk therapy hasn't done much for me for years and I've seen several therapists in my life. That also cant happen for a few weeks. Im currently seeing a school counselor (free through the college thank god!) twice a week but of course its talk therapy. Im taking it anyway. My studies are not being affected, they are usually good no matter what is going on in my life. College numbs the pain temporarily. Ive looked into school clubs and am joining a faith based club on campus but it only has 2 people and doesnt really meet. The other faith based club I wanted to join meets when I have a night class. I moved in with a friend and I try to do homework and watch TV and play games to keep occupied. Some days im okay for a few hours and others, im miserable all day. Im not trying to put myself above others, i promise, Im just extremely co-dependent and am looking for a light.... I guess Im just looking for support from others because I cant draw it from myself..

[Allurial]

Hey, I know times can be tough and being away from your SO can only make issues worse. I've been looking for other people to talk to as well, I noticed they have a pen pal thing on Facebook which I thought may be nice. I was also looking to see if the chat was active sadly it didn't seem to be. As I am home sick for the week I will be around if you want to chat being the same age and all. Plus if you play any computer games maybe playing together would be nice.

I suffered from severe depression before this LDR, and had to leave school for a semester because of it. I know how slow and agonizing it can be to try and get in to see a therapist. But yeah, uh feel free to drop a message anytime!

[Nightfire14]

Thank you so much for your message. I will definitely drop you a message so maybe we can get to know each other. Looking for a strong support system right now.

[Taki]

Hey hon . First of all, a very big virtual hug from me to you. What you're doing is great! Kudos to you for having identified your issues and taking proactive steps to deal with them this is a very big deal and you are brave for dealing with this in such a practical manner head on. Having a support group (and in a lot of ways online support groups are better because you can totally be yourself without the intimidation of appearing physically in front of people) is a GREAT thing to have. Take things slow and pace yourself out. If you're naturally an introvert and have anxiety issues (social or otherwise) joining too many groups etc (especially in real life) CAN be a little exhausting. Rome wasn't built in a day! So slowly feel your way around. Do you like animals? I love animals and I love helping out at shelters. More so when I'm going through a tough time in my life. Because being with animals doesn't emotionally exhaust me the way being with people does. Even with the kindest, best intentioned people, you still give something of yourself atleast just to make basic conversation. At a point where you're exhausted by your own agitation and anxiety, even this can be overwhelming and debilitating. For me just sitting with or hugging a dog or a cat works wonders. I can't even put into words how much this calms me. Because nothing is expected of me and I can just be. Good luck, and feel free to message me directly if you want a friend to talk to.