Convincing Partents to Staying the Summer with my Boyfriend

[sarah557]

Hello all! I just got back from a 7 day visit with my boyfriend who lives in Texas. It was the best week of my life and it's killing me that I probably won't be able to see him until July or maybe even next December. I talked to my mom about just staying the summer with him and she isn't convinced. Of course the summer I want to have my own plans, she is trying to make big family plans. I know that I am capable of making my own plans but I like approval from my parents still. She told me she just isn't ready to let me go for a whole summer and I understand that but this is also my big chance to get in a good, long visit with my boyfriend. How would you go about this if you were in this situation? I'm in college so I get breaks and he is working full time so taking time off really isn't a possibility for him. Any advice would help. Thank you!

[Chris516]

Hello all! I just got back from a 7 day visit with my boyfriend who lives in Texas. It was the best week of my life and it's killing me that I probably won't be able to see him until July or maybe even next December. I talked to my mom about just staying the summer with him and she isn't convinced. Of course the summer I want to have my own plans, she is trying to make big family plans. I know that I am capable of making my own plans but I like approval from my parents still. She told me she just isn't ready to let me go for a whole summer and I understand that but this is also my big chance to get in a good, long visit with my boyfriend. How would you go about this if you were in this situation? I'm in college so I get breaks and he is working full time so taking time off really isn't a possibility for him. Any advice would help. Thank you!

Is your mother forbidding you, outright?

[R&R]

At 17 I was gone all summer, working at a camp that's 5 hours from where I lived. Parents have to let their kids grow up. I can tell you, that's hard. It's difficult to know your kids are capable of being on their own and watching them really leave the nest and start their own lives.

That being said, you are 20 years old. Though I understand wanting your parents approval, you still have the final say. Maybe you can make a compromise....stay the first week at home and then come back two weeks before you have to head back to college. It doesn't have to be all or nothing.

[Rezie]

I can understandd needing parents concent eventhough you are 20. Sometimes I need it eventhough I'm 27. But in the end it is your choise. Maybe a compromise that you are there part of the summer and part at home?

[sasad]

Who is paying for college?
Have they met your boyfriend al all??
Were would you be staying? If he is working are you perhaps going to try and work as well?

[kittyo9]

I had a similar situation: My ex lived in Peru, and I was 21 when I decided I wanted to go visit him (our first visit). I wanted to stay for a few weeks to make the trip worthwhile. I was used to always getting my parents' approval to do anything and my mom was adamantly against me going. I spent a long time in tears on the phone with her, to no avail. Ultimately, though, since I had enough in my savings to support myself and my tuition was covered almost entirely by scholarships, I made the executive decision to go ahead with the trip anyway. Things went fine and I had a really good time during the three weeks I was there. My mom was fairly supportive, despite not approving of the trip.

I do agree with R&R-- perhaps you can narrow your trip down a little (say, 4 weeks instead of 6, or however long). I know that doesn't seem like the best option, but it sounds like your mom is not entirely against it and could possibly be negotiated with. Your parents will always worry about you and your safety, but you are an adult and there comes a point where you just have to start calling the shots.

[sarah557]

My dad is paying for college.
They have met (and loved) my boyfriend on many occasions! They let me stay almost 8 days with him over spring break and they knew I was at his own house.
I would be living with him in his house and I would be working and taking some online classes as well.

[sarah557]

No not outright! I know that she is trying to make family plans, but I will be in Idaho for the next two years finishing my degree. I won't have anymore free summers until I graduate again. I just need her to understand that.

[Chris516]

No not outright! I know that she is trying to make family plans, but I will be in Idaho for the next two years finishing my degree. I won't have anymore free summers until I graduate again. I just need her to understand that.

Then just go. Your mother will get mad. But she will get over it.

[Rezie]

Are the family plans for the entire summer or could you fly back for a week to visit? You can explain that this is what you want since its the last free summer. And then just go.

[2Rocky]

Well If you are a Vandal, I'd be happy to help....Boise State, well..... Good luck....


As the parent of an independent college freshman daughter, I want her to feel confident enough to go out on her own and have some independence. I also don't want to lose contact, and spend some quality time with my "little girl".

I'd recommend you give lot's of communication and see if you can accommodate a couple family events during the summer, like flying home for July 4th, or spending the week before school starts with your family.

In your communications emphasis the career development aspect of your summer job, as well as the fact that the summer classes are going to put you ahead for Fall semester. Daddy's don't like to hear how in love their daughters are with some boy..FYI....

I spent every summer (even the summer before my freshman year) away from home. I was not as conscientious about my parents feelings, although I did arrange for them to come visit for a week each summer.

Welcome to Adulting. Trying to balance your time and money with everyones feelings.

[Sparkling72]

she's got to let go sometime... And as others have asked... go for one vacation with them to make them happy and then the rest of the time with him. That's hard, but at least they genuinely like him and are not flat out forbidding you to go.

[JJ.KTP13]

"I'm in college so I get breaks".

What the heck girrrrl, college as in university? Cause if yes, you are so old enough to be able to make your own decisions and spend that summer holiday with your boyfriend. Don't let your mum hold you back! It's natural for you to be growing up and doing things on your own or with your boyfriend. So tell her straight up that she can't keep you little forever XD.
Wish you the best though and sorry if this didn't help much I'm just trying to lighten up the mood a bit
Cheers.

[sarah557]

Hey guys! Thank you all so much for the helpful advice!! We figured out a plan that was going to work for us but a couple weeks ago I found out that he is moving back soon!! So the only issue we have to work out now is our work schedules and how to move him back up here! God is Good!!