Summer...fun?

[keeflee]

For the past two years I've been dating the love of my life. We met in high school, and I'm a year ahead of him so I went to college almost three hours away from him. My class graduated, leaving him to be lonely a lot (we had the same friend group) and he became closer to his two main guy friends, but he was different. When I first went to college I slowly drifted downward into deep depression. I hated college, anytime I left him I was left sobbing in a pillow for hours. Then first semester ended and I started to heal over Christmas break. Then I started second semester, still trying to break away from the knife stabbing me in the heart that was left when he was gone. We tried to see each other as much as possible but they would only be weekends together and then it would be full of activity and I feel as if we were always too busy for each other. I'd get so mad at him because he'd be horrible at texting or calling me back because of his workload. His mother and him rarely get along so she and him would fight, making him want to run away from home at one point. So there was so much shit we've been through long story short to ever end what we have. I got so excited for summer to start, a chance to see him all the time I thought to myself. Silly me, I never get to see him throughout the week it seems. I have a factory job to pay for school this coming year, he's participating in a lot of work around his house and he is taking a psychology class this summer to get it out of the way. So his mother basically won't let him see me because he has to put everything ahead of me before he has the opportunity to see me. I was fine with it at first but I miss him like crazy. The worst part is that I'm home and so close to him now but I won't be able to see him until weekends. I guess I'm terrified of this coming year where we will be away 24/7 because we'll both be too busy in college. The problem is that I get terrified that he will become worse at communicating and find someone there for him always when I can't be. I should clarify being a music major takes like all of my time because I have to practice for hours a day and then I'm alone to work on homework, barely sleeping just to have the chance to talk to him. I just really wonder if I relate to anyone out there

[JRUCSJ]

Hey!
You are definitely not alone! I met my boyfriend when I was in High school and I soon left to college. I teared up reading your post because it brought so many of my feelings back. I use to cry as I drove home after weekends at home. I use to hate being in school and hate college. I kept wondering why everyone loved college so much when I felt so sad and depressed all the time. I use to go home for winter or summer break and he would work the whole time or my family would want time with just me. I felt like even when I was home I didn't get to see him. I remember that it started a lot of fights between me and him.
However, it gets so much better. I am no finishing my last semester of college and I am still with my boyfriend.We are actually planning on getting married in the next year or so. The whole situation made us so much stronger. I became more independent and confident in myself. He learned how to share his feelings and communicate better. It is an amazing feeling to look back and see that we grew together and got through this together. When he leaves after a weekend, I don't cry anymore. I am not sad or depressed when I am alone at college. I made amazing friends that my bf loves too. Ultimately, I wouldn't go back and change a thing. Being so sad everyday just reminded me how much I love him. You just have to remember that even when you two are apart, your love is so strong that you guys can make it through. You are going to have your fights about not talking or really about anything. Everyone has them. In the end, they will bring you closer. This year may have seemed like a living nightmare, but I want you to know that each year it gets better and better.
I hope that you guys stay with each other and make it through all of the distance. It will be hard at times, but it is possible!
Best,
Jessica

[seognr]

You not go alone you have with your ex