The second day my girlfriend moved into college she wanted to go to a party this was on Saturday. Before we started dating she would party a lot, she doesn't drink or anything just go there with her friends to dance and have fun. She hasn't been to one in a year and not because of me or anything just because she hasn't gone and when she got all moved in she told me she wanted to go to a party at night. I had recently got a minor concussion in basketball practice so i was having headaches all the time and get dizzy a little bit. Well on Friday my headache wasn't bad but then it started to get worse on Saturday especially later in the day. A couple days before she told me that she respected me enough that if i said i wanted her to stay home she would because she knows that with school starting we won't get to talk as much as we used too. I told her that she could go because i want her to have fun and don't want her to feel like im keeping her inside all the time even though i rather her be there just incase my head gets worse which i ended up getting a bad migraine because of the concussion late at night while she was at the party. At the party i texted her a couple times to check up on her and i could definitely tell she didn't really want to talks she just wanted to focus on the party which didn't bother me too much because i get it but i just wanted to make sure she was safe. Later in the night she posted a video on snapchat of these frat guys dancing and in the video one of them made a really sexual face towards her and i saw it and told her that it made me a little uncomfortable because i can't be there to prevent anything like that and that to me it was a little disrespectful to post something like that when you know your boyfriend can see it maybe im just weird. Even later into the night she texts me saying guys were really aggressive and she's sorry and that she understands if i breakup with her. I was so confused and i texted her asking what happened and she wasnt responding so i texted and texted again trying to figure out what happened well a little later she texts me and says she is leaving with her friends walking back to her dorm and that she would call me to talk about it when she got back. She gets back and calls me from the hallway and tells me that a guy grabbed her and she didnt realize it and she started dancing on him and then she said she stopped and then went back and did it some more and i asked why she would do that and her explanation was that she got caught up in the moment and got caught up in the party. Basically i told her that i wasn't breaking up with her and talked to her about how she needs to listen to me when i say things because before the party i told her i didnt want her really going to a frat party because guys in general but especially those guys can be aggressive and get really drunk and i told her don't throw away something that means so much to you for one night. I know people make mistakes and i know it could of been worse so i forgave her but she knows somethings have to change. Moving forward i told her that she probably wont be going to parties for a little while because i need to trust her fully again and i need her to focus on school not that it started as of monday. She knows what she did and I thanked her for being honest with me when all of her new "friends" were telling her not too. I believe that she has learned from it and it wont happen again as she doesn't want to jeopardize our whole relationship for something like that. I told her i just really wanted her to be home to talk to me to help with my concussion yeah it wont make my head feel better but talking to her makes me forget about everything around me. Sometimes i cant get that night out of my head and it instantly makes me upset knowing people were touching my girlfriend and i couldnt be there to stop it and that something like that would happen. In my last relationship i was cheated on and the girl started dating the guy she cheated on me with 5 days after i broke up with her so i told myself i wouldnt let that happen to me again. I know some people have their different views on whats cheating and whats not but to me thats right up there. We talked about it more the last couple of days and she told me she knows how much i truly love her based on how i handle the night. In LDR its hard sometimes to know when you are overprotective and when you are not but i always tell her that i want her to listen to me so i can take care of her and protect her the best i can until we can be with each other. To me the love i have for her is worth way more then throwing away the relationship for one mistake I know shes working on it and she growing and we will grow stronger because of what happened do you guys think i did the right thing by forgiving her?
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I wrote a long post and realized that my message don't come across too well in written form. Quite honestly what you write here really pissed me off. In my personal opinion your behaviour brings up a lot of red flags. I feel like your "keeping safe" and "protect" comes across controlling and jelous. She is in college and had a good time. I don't think there is anything to forgive.
You need to trust her. Let go of the idea that you need to protect her. She is a big girl and can handle herself. There will always be someone looking sexually and hitting on your girlfriend and that's ok, that's where the trust comes in. Also you need to work on getting over the ex cheating.
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