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Should I End My LDR?

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    Should I End My LDR?

    Hello everyone,
    So I could really use seem advice here.
    Recently my LDR girlfriend posted a series of pictures on Facebook documenting her time at college. Pictures filled with friends, many of which are guys. Now, I would not say it was jealousy I was feeling (there was obviously some jealousy felt), but more just the feeling of being left out. Just knowing that no matter what we do, there will be a part of her life I am not involved with made me upset. This led me second guess the point of even continuing on with this relationship. I can't help but feel that when we are together (during our winter/summer breaks) that she would still rather be with her college friends than me. Do I have any true reason to believe this? Not really. She hasn't said anything specific about it but that's just my gut feeling. In which case, why do I even want to keep this thing going? There are times, like right now, where I just feel so confused and upset towards this whole sitaution. And I think to myself, why am I in a relationship where I'm filled with sadness so much of the time? Like, is it worth it? Would I not just be happier finding somebody here at my school to be with?
    I do love my girlfriend, and I think I would feel a lot better knowing there are times that she, too, feels jealous and lonely. That she too cannot wait for the times we're together again. But I just can't see this being the case. She's happy, and I think I'm falling back on her list of priorities.
    Again, it is nothing she has done. We still text as often as we always have and FaceTime/ talk on the phone as well. She has never been good at expressing emotion so that may be part of the problem.
    Overall, I just am not truly happy being in this relationship with so many unanswered questions. Any advice/stories would be greatly appreciated.
    Thanks,
    Nick

    #2
    It seems to me that your doubts are getting the better of you. In an LDR, it is normal to have those feelings. It also seems that she is coping better with the distance than you are: she has built up social life and when she is not chatting with you, her life goes on. From what you posted, I get the impression that your world is built around her, she is your only focus and every second you're not chatting with her, is in your opinion a lost moment.

    I think you should do the same as she does. Not to make her jealous, but for yourself. Get yourself a life, a hobby, some friends. Go on with your life. Enjoy the moments you have with your girlfriend, but don't sit and wait all day until it is time to chat. Make sure you have a life, get your mind off of her while you are doing other things.

    To me it seems it's your own anxiety that brings this doubts in your head. Of course I can be wrong, but that is my feeling.

    Have you ever talked about this with her? Have you asked her how she feels about you, have to talked about your feelings when you see what you mentioned here? And if you do, do you have any reason to not believe her?
    Distance means nothing when someone means everything.

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      #3
      I doubt I would end a relationship based on pictures, or my feelings around those pictures.

      Here is advice from my own experience that I offer to folks who get caught up in waiting for the next text from their partner:

      Are you a student? If yes, go to school. Focus on school.
      Are you gainfully employed? If yes, go to work and be present at work.
      Have friends? If yes, spend time with them. Enjoy yourself.
      Have hobbies? If yes, spend time on your hobbies.
      Have family? If yes, spend time with them.
      Have interests? If yes, spend time on those things you are interested in.
      Have internet? Read about the stages of relationships so that you will be knowledgeable about how relationships grow.
      Exercised today? If not, go for a walk or jog or bike ride. Get active.
      If you answered no to all of the above, change your life so that you can answer yes to some of these things.

      Be a whole person so that you can be a whole person in a relationship. Become a priority and have a great relationship with yourself. Do not rely on your partner to complete you. Be a complete person whose partner is a positive addition to your life.

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