LDR girlfriend with male roommate

[Nick_Smith]

Hey guys,
Really need some advice here.
My girlfriend recently told me she is planning on rooming with a male friend of hers next school year. I wasn't exactly thrilled by the news. When I told her how uncomfortable the idea made me, she attempted to reassure me that it means nothing, but she didn't seem to really care about how it made me feel. I think, as of right now, her plans have not shifted. Now, I don't think I'm crazy here. Would anybody in an LDR like being in this scenario?
Really need some good advice
Thanks,
Nick

[Allurial]

As a female who prefers to room with males and an SO who has come to accept the fact and understand why I have the opposite views. Rooming with the females has ultimately lead to so much more drama then any male roommates I have had over my 4 years of having a roommate. You just have to come to trust your partner, however there also comes the point where you also have to trust the friend as well. My boyfriend has had plenty of girls stay in his room, his cousins friends usually sleep there in his bed and he sleeps on the sofa in there. It hasn't been an issue and we both spoke about what we expected from one another about nudity with others in the room and such.
If you are really uncomfortable with the situation and your gf doesn't want to budge maybe ask her why she prefers this male over her other friends, try and understand why she's thinking the way she is. Is that the only person she feels is truly a friend and she's comfortable rooming with at this current time, does she want less drama, etc.
I wish I could give you more insight but everyone is different when it comes to comfort levels and boundaries. However I hope this helped you some, and you two can work things out!

[Rezie]

Roomate is a roomate. It comesdown to trust. You need to think why you are uncomfortable with this idea. You an ofcourse express that you are not comfortable with it but you can't really expect your girlfriend to find a new roomate because of it.

[Ejoriah]

She provided you with reassurance, so she does care about how you feel. Your insecurity isn't grounds for her changing her entire living arrangement, though. People room with others of the gender they are attracted to all the time, and it doesn't automatically mean that sexual things will happen. It's just life.

I was in a relationship while rooming with two guys, and have also been in a relationship with someone who had a female roommate. It's just normal and how young adults can afford to find a place to live. Now if this male friend of hers had shown interest in her or had tried to cross a boundary, I could kinda see why you would be concerned. But from what you've said here, no.

[Harlequin]

Like others have said, it all comes down to trust. If you trust her, then there's nothing to worry about. If it helps ease your mind, ask about the roommate and see if you can get to know him a little better. Rent is expensive, so it's very common for friends to live together in order to better afford a place to live. She cares about how you feel, but she also needs a place to live, you know? When you need roommates, you're gonna reach out to whatever willing friend you have first and foremost.

[rache82]

Hi. I am in this situation for another two weeks where I partner has had a female housemate to help with rent and that's all. I was a little insecure for the first six months or so even though I knew I had no need to be. I guess it was just hard before I'd met him in person just to know that they were living under the one roof. Then it didn't help when I found out that she had once confessed her feelings for him. But when we first met, the insecurities gradually decreased.
My SO is moving to Australia to be with me in Jan so that's how much he loves me, and those insecurities I had was all for nothing; it just stressed me out, and even attempted to put pressure on our relationship as I'd have him in tears thinking that I don't trust him.
Bottom line is, I know exactly how you feel and I'm a lot older than you; I'm 38, so age has nothing to do with it; it's just a weakness some of us have.
So, trust her until you have proof for otherwise. Unfound insecurities are a waste of time, energy and could even push her away.

All the best!