Parents disapproval of new LDR so having to hide

[amorathi]

Hi guys. So I posted yesterday just about my LDR relationship but I kinda just wanted to focus on what to do.... So I just started a LDR with my boyfriend since his parents forced him to move back to TX. His parents want us and already assume we broke up but already it's just hard doing an LDR with having to hide our relationship to his parents. He does want to tell his parents but it's a matter of when especially with his dad (he has bipolar disirder and does not take his medication). I am trying to be patient that like he has to hide me but at least point we are having to talk super late at night and having scattered texts. I just wish he could just come back and stick to the original plan... but it's hard when he feels like he has to be financially dependent on his parents. Yes, i believe he can do it without but it'll be just hard. But what do we do about the parents? It's just super frustrating...

[autumn1790]

Same boat here. It's either something you live with, or you move on. It's his life, and his action to take, to find ways to communicate with you.

[amorathi]

Hi autumn1790, thanks for the reply. You are right it is his decision... But should we wait to tell his parents and put his foot down or just hide it for some time until they cool down (about a semester)? I don't want to move on because I don't want to lose him and he doesn't either so I am willing to deal with it. It's just challenging having to deal with LDR with also the hiding... How do you deal with it?

[autumn1790]

We've continued to hide it, and will continue as long as need be so he can get his master's degree. I'm not exactly unknown to them...they do know I exist and I used to chat with his sister. But they know nothing about us meeting up occasionally; some family watchdog did send them a very blurred out faraway cover picture of us which I had set on Facebook, and that caused a lot of consternation. I changed my Facebook to mostly private, and never post anything about him on any social media, and neither does he. Next month is the four year anniversary of us meeting online. You get used to it. When he's at home, he can go several days without being able to message me, which really sucks, but luckily he doesn't live there right now.
Does your dude have any life outside of the house? Why can't he go for a run and give you a call? Seems like there's tons of ways to be way more creative with this situation..

[amorathi]

We've continued to hide it, and will continue as long as need be so he can get his master's degree. I'm not exactly unknown to them...they do know I exist and I used to chat with his sister. But they know nothing about us meeting up occasionally; some family watchdog did send them a very blurred out faraway cover picture of us which I had set on Facebook, and that caused a lot of consternation. I changed my Facebook to mostly private, and never post anything about him on any social media, and neither does he. Next month is the four year anniversary of us meeting online. You get used to it. When he's at home, he can go several days without being able to message me, which really sucks, but luckily he doesn't live there right now.
Does your dude have any life outside of the house? Why can't he go for a run and give you a call? Seems like there's tons of ways to be way more creative with this situation..

I met his parents and they liked me in the beginning but now just see me as a distraction to him...

That's incredible that it's been four years though! Congrats! And yeah I'm still having trouble adjusting like I always want him to reply to me asap but I'm starting to realize that I need to give him space because this hard for both of us. We got into a row today and almost broke up but I gave him some space it's just hard because I'm so used to him being with me in person all the time. Lately, he's been home a lot and so his parents are always around and near him so it's hard to text or call. He would call me usually when he's out driving (which hadn't mean this past week since there was an ice storm) and/or late at night because his dad talks to him so late but it's hard because he would fall asleep. I'm hoping with him starting school that he might not be as home as much and he can call me on his way home/to school.

[MikeLee]

Many peoples in your situation probably would have given up already, but you both are still trying for each other. It may be hard now, but there will be a time when you can be together. Please don't give up if you really love each other, ever! Hardship exists in all relationship but your love for each other will only become deeper everytime you get through them. Im rooting for you guys! (Y).