Should I Transfer Colleges?

[claudiamb]

Hello!
My boyfriend and I have been together for four years and we attend colleges that are 9 hours apart. We are both second-semester freshman. Since coming back to college after my winter break with my boyfriend, I think I am mildy depresed. I miss him so much, and I feel like I am living my life as a countdown to when I see him next. I know that that is not healthy, so I have been thinking about transferring. I have visited him once, and I love the school. It is so beautiful and I felt really at home there. After coming back to my college, I feel horrible and every day I want to leave, even though at one point I thought it was perfect for me. This is the pros and cons list I made about transferring or not:

Pros:
Noah
Warm weather
Happier
Bigger class sizes, not much pressure on participation
Bigger school so nobody cares about you and judges you
Not as much stress culture as Smith
Closer to my family in the south so I could go there for breaks if needed
Starting fresh- nobody would hate me yet and I wouldn't have to worry about all the drama of my house
I could live on the lawn or something that would be so cool
The school is much prettier than smith and there is a lot more to do in the town
Charlottesville is actually a real college town with things to do

Cons:
I have to actually apply and do the work for that
Moving all my stuff out and back there would be difficult
I would have to make friends again
Probably wouldn't even see Noah that much, especially in the first semester
Would I have to do orientation week? That would be weird but i guess it would be the only way to make friends

My boyfriend does not want me to transfer because he thinks that my school is better than his, and it would be a mistake for me to transfer. I think that I should transfer because I don't want to keep living my life as a countdown. I do not think I will ever truly be happy here, because he is my best friend and I can't find anyone that gets me like he does. My parents are okay with me transferring because they love my boyfriend and want me to be happy.. I really need some adivce. Should I transfer? It is true that my college is "better" or more highly ranked, but I would much rather be with him.
Thanks for reading.

[MissButterfly]

You are really young still, and all the pros and cons are related to the stuff surrounding your education, not your actual education. That's the most important thing of all! If your college is better, I would definitely stay. That could have such a huge impact on your future that you can't oversee yet right now. If your relationship doesn't work out, would you still rather be at that school? I think that's the only question you can ask yourself right now. If you love the school so much that you'd be happier there even without him, go for it. If not, then just be strong and stay where you are. If it's meant to be you'll survive these short few years and you can be together soon enough. Good luck!

[luvargon]

I agree with MissButterfly,
As someone else in college I am sure you've gotten tired of hearing the "just wait it out" but that really is the best advice. Focus on school! And if you both love each other you will want that for each other. Instead of focusing on the distance why don't you focus on planning a date halfway between you sometimes!

[petiterenarde]

You can do it!

Another thing to consider is that you likely won't be able to transfer until after your second year at university, anyway. If it's truly what you want to do, speak with your counselor, try to email a counselor at your boyfriend's school, talk to the people who deal with transfers everyday.

Try to bridge the gap by exchanging things with personal touches (small gifts or care packages, handwritten letters, photos).

I really recommend sticking it out, you'll learn ways to cope with the distance and it'll be worth it in the end.