Can anyone help?

[nrod5]

Hey everyone im new to this so bare with me...recently my girlfriend of almost a year left for college and I've been a wreck. I truly do trust her 100% we've set ground rules that she's fine with we talk regularly we do everything we need to try to make this work out but for some reason I just can't seem to believe that any girl would stay loyal to me or love me like she does. She tells me the ring I got her is her pre engagement ring and tells me all the time we will get through this and marry one day which is the ultimate goal but I still find myself going crazy all day. Im completely terrified im going to lose her its gotten to the point where im waking up breathing heavy in the middle of the night because we broke up in a dream or she cheated on me in my dream stuff along those kind of line. I want to stay with her 100% but how do I heal myself? I feel broken everyday without her next to my side.

[Littlewhiteflower]

Having therapy would help with that. I'm conscious it can be an expensive way to treat this problem, but it will really help you. You don't need to go a million times. I went 3 or 4 times and it was enough to give me some tools to deal with my trust issues, insecurities, jealousy.. I saw you were 19 year old. So, if you are still in school, they often have services offered for free or cheaper for the students. You should consider it.

If you can't afford it, I would suggest trying to change your mind. Do sport. Go out. Write a diary. Try making friends (maybe joining a sport team would help). When you socialize, get busy, your mind doesn't have the time to start imagining too much stuff as your attention is somewhere else. I know what it is to wake up in panic and so on. If your SO never gave you any reason to worry about her faithfulness, you should try to focus on yourself and fix the problem within yourself (don't take what I say badly, but often, trust issues have nothing to do with our SO but more about our own past).

I wish you the best!

[nrod5]

Thank you for that. She hasn't given my ANY reason what so ever and like you said my issues are from the past and no matter what I do I can't get over them...just set up my first appointment with a nearby therapist thanks again.

[maple]

I hope things work out for you! Being afraid of losing the other is a terrible feeling, so just try your best to be positive and think about what you really want. Worrying wouldn't change anything, so just enjoy the present and be hopeful for the future obviously if there are any real red flags that's a different story, but if not, then just be aware that the mind can be the worse enemy

[malaryv]

I relate to this a lot. I find myself waking up in the middle of the night or having bad dreams about my boyfriend leaving me. He's never done anything ever to make me think that way either, I'm just terrified of losing him too. You're not alone in feeling that way. Lately I've been using the counselor at school and that's helped a lot. I think it's important to talk out your feelings and thoughts with a professional sometimes. I've been going weekly and it has helped SO much! I hope it works well for you too.
Just know that the feelings and relationship you have is REAL. Sometimes I catch myself thinking irrationally and thinking stupid things that just make me more anxious. I've gotten to the point now where I can usually tell myself they're stupid and it helps a little bit. Since you have this new aspect of your relationship (distance) you might have to do things a little differently! Visits are not as often as you or I would like, but they still happen! And they're still just as amazing as ever. Facetime always helps, maybe try writing handwritten letters too! That is something that I've been doing and its helped me a little bit too. While the distance absolutely SUCKS and I wish it wasn't that way for either of us, just think of how great of an opportunity it is for improved trust and communication! You really have to navigate a lot of new waters without physical contact or communication.
It is a BIG change. But you guys will be OK! Take it day by day and think of new ways to connect and also keep yourself busy!