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Am I worrying for nothing or?

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    Am I worrying for nothing or?

    Me and my girlfriend have been together for over a year and now she's 5 hours away at school...yesterday I told her im going to be surprising her and showing up to her school one of these weekends. Now I obviously planned on talking to her girlfriends to figure out the best weekend for me to come but my girlfriend says its the #1 thing I cant do and no matter what I say she refuses to let me surprise her. What gf wouldn't want their bf to surprise them? Is it just me or does this seem sketchy? I cant seem to get it off my mind

    #2
    Honestly, I'd be annoyed if my SO gave me a full surprise and came down out of the blue. With school being such a priority having anything take away from that - even my SO would be unwanted stress. Yes I'd be happy to see him but school is important, plus maybe she doesn't want a full surprise so she can make sure she is showered/shaved/gets her hair and nails done. I don't think her refusal of a surprise is sketchy - I think its fair and she's being honest with you. Maybe instead of saying you want to surprise her instead offer you'd like to be able to visit when she has the time and its convenient that way she has time to prepare and can do work ahead of time.
    First Met Online: April 2016
    Started Going Out: September 18, 2016
    First Meeting: Jan 11-18, 2017
    Next Meeting: Nov 8-12, 2018

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      #3
      I wouldn't want to be surprised, either. I liked to go out and about when I was in college, so my s/o would be totally shafted if I wasn't around when they decided to show up. Sometime I'd just be super busy with projects and stuff, so I wouldn't be able to really tear my focus away from school. Surprises are cute, but can be super inconvenient in college. I wouldn't worry about it.

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        #4
        I really wouldn't be worried. You guys love eachother, trust her. She probably just wants to prepare, look nice, clean up her room ect before you come over. That's just how girls are.

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          #5
          I'm going to echo the "No Surprise" sentiment. You have no way of knowing her school (tests, projects, presentations) schedule, ummm reproductive schedule, or likewise.

          The only real acceptable surprise is perhaps to arrive earlier on the day she expects a visit, and has her schedule clear.

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            #6
            I would have been so mad if my bf would have made a suprise visit while in LDR. It's not even a college or a girl thing. Some people just don't enjoy suprises.

            I think this is one of those things that movies/books/society has made to sound romantic eventhough minority would actually think it is.

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              #7
              Kelly from Denver here. Yes you are worrying for nothing. I know this was months ago so hopefully you got passed it and you are still together. As I have a unisex name I want to clarify I'm a woman and I don't feel this is sketchy. It should not mean that she has any change of heart, she's just being a stressed human. Hope this helps.
              Last edited by kellyj96830; December 23, 2018, 10:53 AM. Reason: Perspective

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