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Job offer, opposite coasts, career vs relationship

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    Job offer, opposite coasts, career vs relationship

    My boyfriend and I have been together for over 2 years and most of it has been long distance. Recently, I moved to be closer to him and now we live about 5.5 hours drive away from each other. We manage to see each other usually twice a month.

    I accepted an offer for a dream internship that's on the other side of the country (We live on the east coast and the internship is on the west coast) with a potential for a full time offer. I know this is a great opportunity but I don't want to be far away from him. It is 7.5+ hours to fly back and forth from where he lives. I still have 3 semesters (about 16 months) left to graduate, and he has about 2 (could turn into 3) years to graduate.

    I don't want to live on opposite coasts! I want to be able to see him atleast twice every month and it's just easier if I live closer to where he is. Affording flight tickets won't be an issue because the job pays well, but it takes too much time to travel. I don't want to spend 14 hours travelling every weekend.

    He wants me to take the offer if I get it, and I want to be closer to him. Oh, the dilemma..

    #2
    Sounds like you are in a difficult situation but I am going to say go for the career opportunity! You have been already been surviving the long distance and surely it will be tougher once you are even further away, but it sounds like he is supportive and that's all you really need. He already knows the sacrifices that need to be made for a LDR and is willing to continue that with you.

    Funny because I am in the same situation as you, but on the opposite end.. My SO is currently in med school and will be moving further away in Jan which means we will not be seeing each other as often- and like you, we are only 5.5 hours apart and see each other 1-2 times a month. I am on the other side of the situation as you, I want to support my SO in his dreams and career like your SO is trying to do for you. Personally, I will do what ever needs to be done to support my SO in this because his studying will eventually be done and I will still be here with him when its all said and done.

    My SO and I are not going to be able to see each other for months at a time which will need some adjusting to since we see each other regularly now. Maybe instead of 1-2 times for you, you can do once a month or every other month? Or have him come to you every other time if the time traveling is what you're really concerned about. Your semesters will eventually end but it sounds like hes dedicated and there to stay.

    Best of luck to you!
    Last edited by MsGrim; December 2, 2019, 01:01 PM.
    ~And ever has it been known that Love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation~

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      #3
      I know it’s a difficult decision, and I just want to wish you all the best in whatever you choose. On the bright side, if you do take the job offer, at least you said that flight prices won’t be a problem. That’s a huge positive cos many of us grapple with budgeting for expensive flights. The travel time is annoying, yes, but there are plenty of things you can do on the flight: whether it be a hobby you like such as reading or drawing or catching up on study, or work!

      All the best!
      "The pain of parting is nothing to the joy of meeting again".
      -Charles Dickens

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