Hi Everyone
I (22M) had been dating this girl(22F) for around 3-4 years and just a couple days ago she came and broke up with me. Context for this is we had been going really well for the first 3 or so years and then we had to do long distance this year which made it obviously hard of one another. There were several factors which I thought led to this including me feeling relationship anxiety due to the fact that she was quite far away and would be around a group of other 10-15 people of both men and women the same age as us. This caused me to say and do certain things like asking her for more affection , reassurance and wishing to see her more , question her loyalty and whatnot. This definitely went through the last 7/8 months however I kept telling her that I would work on it and I believe it did improve for a bit. Further to that there were other issues like me wanting to move states back to my family after my studies whilst her family was from the state we are in at the moment and she was 'not in it enough' to move. I talked about marriage earlier in the year and it scared her too. Just three days ago she came and visited me and told me she had lost feelings for me despite all our communication being quite normal. We are approaching exams and i was also trying to organise some trips for the end of the year which she was a bit reluctant on doing. She ended it and despite me asking for a break to see if things would improve she was against that saying it would be counterproductive. She mentioned she doesn't love me anymore and that we want different things , being her being more independent whilst me being a bit more reliant on my relationship. She mentioned she can't see me in her future. In the back of my mind I really think that the circumstances of being long distance made some issues a lot more apparent and emphasised making her distance herself emotionally. I still think she has some feeling for me as she would message me saying I miss you and call me when she wanted support just weeks before the breakup. I also think due to our exams coming up and me trying to organise these trips in the next couple months she wanted to end it as quickly as possible. I'm hurtfully moving on however since our last chat I walked out a bit angrily as she mentioned she never wanted to go on these holiday trips with me at the end of the year along with her saying she doesn't like me anymore. This changed the nature of her messaging to being more formal saying things like " im sorry it didn't work up but i care for you and i dont want you to be more hurt , good luck with everything in the future". I felt like it was very abrupt and it's hard for me not to contact her. I understand it's hard to work from here to get her back but i really believe that it was circumstantial and that at the end of the year things may have improved as we would not longer be long distance. The other thing she mentioned was that I was the only person she had dated and she has no other experience which may mean that she has been talking to someone else? or she wants to date around and see. Just seeking some advice for whether I could contact her after a couple weeks and see if I can work from there. Whether i do no contact for a while. What are the chances this could work... i know for a fact that my anxiety stemmed from the long distance which we wouldn't have to do after this year. I think when my emotions started to rise this year it confused her and she detached herself as well as her getting scared of some long term committments.
I (22M) had been dating this girl(22F) for around 3-4 years and just a couple days ago she came and broke up with me. Context for this is we had been going really well for the first 3 or so years and then we had to do long distance this year which made it obviously hard of one another. There were several factors which I thought led to this including me feeling relationship anxiety due to the fact that she was quite far away and would be around a group of other 10-15 people of both men and women the same age as us. This caused me to say and do certain things like asking her for more affection , reassurance and wishing to see her more , question her loyalty and whatnot. This definitely went through the last 7/8 months however I kept telling her that I would work on it and I believe it did improve for a bit. Further to that there were other issues like me wanting to move states back to my family after my studies whilst her family was from the state we are in at the moment and she was 'not in it enough' to move. I talked about marriage earlier in the year and it scared her too. Just three days ago she came and visited me and told me she had lost feelings for me despite all our communication being quite normal. We are approaching exams and i was also trying to organise some trips for the end of the year which she was a bit reluctant on doing. She ended it and despite me asking for a break to see if things would improve she was against that saying it would be counterproductive. She mentioned she doesn't love me anymore and that we want different things , being her being more independent whilst me being a bit more reliant on my relationship. She mentioned she can't see me in her future. In the back of my mind I really think that the circumstances of being long distance made some issues a lot more apparent and emphasised making her distance herself emotionally. I still think she has some feeling for me as she would message me saying I miss you and call me when she wanted support just weeks before the breakup. I also think due to our exams coming up and me trying to organise these trips in the next couple months she wanted to end it as quickly as possible. I'm hurtfully moving on however since our last chat I walked out a bit angrily as she mentioned she never wanted to go on these holiday trips with me at the end of the year along with her saying she doesn't like me anymore. This changed the nature of her messaging to being more formal saying things like " im sorry it didn't work up but i care for you and i dont want you to be more hurt , good luck with everything in the future". I felt like it was very abrupt and it's hard for me not to contact her. I understand it's hard to work from here to get her back but i really believe that it was circumstantial and that at the end of the year things may have improved as we would not longer be long distance. The other thing she mentioned was that I was the only person she had dated and she has no other experience which may mean that she has been talking to someone else? or she wants to date around and see. Just seeking some advice for whether I could contact her after a couple weeks and see if I can work from there. Whether i do no contact for a while. What are the chances this could work... i know for a fact that my anxiety stemmed from the long distance which we wouldn't have to do after this year. I think when my emotions started to rise this year it confused her and she detached herself as well as her getting scared of some long term committments.
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