what do you love and hate about your international relationship?

[Romeo s Juliet]

My so lives 4000 miles away from me luckily for us the time difference is just 4 hours. its pretty great
we both were born in the same country but i moved to Australia for studies.

What i love about being in an international relationship is, everyday i have a new story to tell him, about the new foods i tried. about a new place i went to, about a new clothing item i brought that is not customary where he lives. i get the chance to vlog my day. and take pictures
and more than all i love talking to him, but i also love the time i get for myself away from him. that might sound bizarre but the time i spend away from him really helps me grow and concentrate on my self.

what i hate about being international is definitely the time difference. because i sleep at the same time he sleeps, and i keep awake at night just to chat with him :P its unhealthy i know :P lol but yes the time difference is killing me that's when i wished we weren't international :/ hehe

so what do you love and hate about your international relationship?

[kittyo9]

I think my favorite part about having an international relationship is that I have an excuse to travel and experience another culture. xD When I go to Peru, I'll basically be living like a Peruvian, and I think that's the best way to experience any country. It's like being an insider, with my boyfriend there to guide me. I also love that he has a unique perspective on some issues.

I don't like the half-year time difference. Peru doesn't do daylight savings, so half the year we're in the same time zone, and the other half we're an hour apart. It just gets messy and I don't like it at all. The other thing I don't like is that sometimes we run into problems where we just don't understand each other because our cultures are different. For example, it's fairly acceptable for families not to be very close here in the States (at least, in my experience), but my boyfriend feels like he absolutely must fit in with his family, regardless of whether he does or not (and he does not).

Edited to add: After reading Malaga's post (below), I was reminded of how much I also hate the immigration & visas system.

[lucybelle]

Like kitty09, we were always either 1 or 2 hours apart. But I was just happy it wasn't more!

I think what I like best about being international is getting the inside scoop with a tourist feel. Like, while we are in my country I know all the good restaurants and parks to go to, how to avoid traffic, etc. At the same time, he wants to go see all the touristy things that I would normally never go to or see. Same here. We take weekend trips about once a month to a new beach or volcano, because it's somewhere I haven't been yet (actually, I've seen more of his country than he has... anyways!) And while we're home he knows the good bars, the good bands, etc.

I guess the only thing I wouldn't like is that one of us has to leave our family/friends. Obviously this is talked about time and time again, but my SO and I are both very close with our families. So it's hard on the person who is far away. Fortunately, plane tickets are pretty cheap ($500-$600 round trip) and it's only like a 5 hour flight (plus layover). I just hope his parents can get a visa to the USA one day. I'd really love for them to visit where I'm from!

[Malaga]

Like kitty said, it's all about travelling and experiencing new cultures I also like the fact he's unlike anyone else I know, and certainly unlike anyone around here, and I'm the same for him. There is so much to explore

Cultural differences are a challenge sometimes. Also, although flight tickets are fairly cheap and there's a direct 2 hour flight connection, flight schedules usually don't do us any favours and we can't go on, say a weekend visit without taking days off. This really complicates everything.

Immigration is a pain in the ass - even though I don't need a visa, I get scrutinised at the border whenever I go to visit and it only gets worse with time. I always fear they'll ship me back home for some reason. Obviously this is nothing compared to how complicated and costly the process of closing the distance will be. So the legal frame is by far the biggest issue I would single out.

[Phantomrose]

What I like about being in an international relationship is learning about the few differences between American culture and British culture. We sometimes tease each other on the way we pronounce things a bit differently, or spell things a bit differently. I also agree with Kitty; I have an excuse to travel and experience that part of the country.

What I dislike about being in an international relationship, besides the distance, is the immigration process. I know that it is going to be expensive for me to get my visa, and that I am going to have to get approved for the visa before getting ready to move there. It is worth doing though. The time difference can also be annoying at times, but it isn't that much of an issue.

[nicole]

I love the fact I have given my SO the travel bug, and we'll get to see so many places together! I like the fact I am living in a foreign country, but I get to have him there being my tour guide, and someone to vent to when some American customs make no freaking sense to me

I hate that the families have to be split apart. One annoyance at the moment; I moved to America, but we are having our wedding in England. I see my SO's family a LOT these days, and don't get to see mine at all. Now SO's family is bitching and complaining that we're having the wedding in England, because most won't get to come. Would be a lot easier if everyone lived in the same place!

[Anja]

I absolutely hate everything about being in this long distance relationship. I think its because we were together for 4 years before we were separated! I've had to move back in with my parents, I hate coming home to a single empty bed in my parents house. I hate not seeing him opposite me when I open my eyes in the morning. I feel so alone all the time, even though I'm in a house full of family. He's my soul mate and my best friend and talking on the phone or on Skype just isn't enough. I hate the fact that we just don't know when we are going to see each other again. He's actually banned from the UK for 5 years because he overstayed his visa. I cant afford to go to South Africa any time soon, because I'm in so much debt, and I dread to think about the whole immigration process to get into South Africa. But I guess I will think about that when that times come, which could be years.

[BlueCat]

I hate most, but not all of it. Certainly the biggest challenge is the physical distance, couple that with a 13 1/2 or 15 1/2 hour time difference depending on daylight savings and it makes it really difficult to find time to talk as our days are almost exactly opposite. Another thing I'm struggling with is simply not knowing when I'll be seeing him again, that and the thought of the fiance VISA and that process is just overwhelming. Also, the cost of flights and travel insurance. So many things really.

Pro's though, travelling to another country, seeing and experiencing new things, of particular interest for me is the chance to do bird watching and photography in another country with completely different birds.

[Tooki]

The killer for our relationship is the 7(or 9 hour) time difference. If we were in the same timezone, we would be a lot better off. A lot of our problems come from the time difference and not being able to talk a lot because our schedules don't match up.

I love going to Europe though! She is also a bigtime traveller so I have no worries with going to foreign places with her . Also she has an EU passport etc so travelling isn't an issue if she wanted to come to Oz.

[kteire]

I love having the excuse to go to Ireland all the time, love it there I love that I'm with someone from a culture that's similar but vastly different, which would have been hard to find in Canada haha. And I love that my SO and I have completely different phrases in our vocabulary... last night I used "on the fritz" to describe how my Chrome has been going crazy and not working, and he was so confused. I find it all hilarious to learn new things from each other! And I love that no matter where we live in the future, we'll always have family in Canada and in Ireland, my two favourite countries!

I hated the time difference when we were further apart, but fortunately we don't have that now! I hate that until we decide where we're going to live permanently, we both have to deal with visas and documenting our relationship for that purpose... how unromantic!! And I do hate that no matter where we settle, one or both of us will be so far away from our families... Sucks.

[nicole]

And I love that my SO and I have completely different phrases in our vocabulary...

hehe Last night my SO was in the second bathroom where the toilet paper lives, I was yelling from the other one "Can you get me some loo roll?!" he's like "whaaaaat?" I yelled "LOOOOOO ROLLLLLL" about 5-6 times till my British to American translator kicked in for " toilet paper"

It is good him being around when people don't understand my accent ( though really, I don't have a broad accent anymore- to the point people in England think I'm actually American), so he can translate for me. Took me 2-3 minutes of asking for a "s'more sundae" in my apparently unintelligible accent until my SO rescued me and get me my ice-cream. I do try, but when I try to over-pronounce my "r"s like Americans do, I sound like a pirate! lol

[lucybelle]

I love the fact I have given my SO the travel bug, and we'll get to see so many places together!

I've done that too! We're putting together pictures for our visa and he says "the only reason I've been to all these places is because of you" Before he was such a homebody, but now he's really excited about traveling more! When we move back to the USA, once he gets his greencard, we plan on taking 3 months or so to just go traveling. It's a perfect time since both of us will be in between jobs, no apartment, nothing.

[nicole]

I've done that too! We're putting together pictures for our visa and he says "the only reason I've been to all these places is because of you" Before he was such a homebody, but now he's really excited about traveling more! When we move back to the USA, once he gets his greencard, we plan on taking 3 months or so to just go traveling. It's a perfect time since both of us will be in between jobs, no apartment, nothing.

That sounds amazing! See, traveling for me has always been normal; I'd go onto the continent maybe once or twice a year, usually a different place/country every time- my SO hasn't even been to a lot of places in America, so the fact he's been to England, Ireland and France already is amazing! lol

We were showing his grandparents all the photos we took in Paris at New Years, and they asked if we'd go back, my SO was like "heck no there's so many other places we need to see before we go back anywhere!" It made me smile Can't wait for our next trip! I dunno where we are going for our honeymoon yet, I'm hoping for somewhere I've never been before- somewhere in Africa perhaps?

[Shepard-Fowkes]

I love the chance to travel. I'm going to England for the first time this summer and I never would have had this opportunity if I wasn't with my SO. Years ago I decided that when I graduated high school, I wanted to celebrate with a trip to England. I didn't even know my SO existed at that point. Funny how things work out . I love his accent and his Britishisms.

And what I hate...the uncertainty. The fear. The need to put the fate of our relationship in the hands of immigration officials. The thought that paperwork or agencies or officials or any of that could separate us.

It's worth it for him, though.

[Tanja]

We have a 2 hour time difference which really isn't bad at all compared to some couples.

I hate it that because we're both poor we have to select the cheapest method to travel so it takes about 12-20 hours for him to get here even though it's just 1200 miles and a 3 hour flight! It's mental.