what do you love and hate about your international relationship?

[Carenza LaRue]

I love the way we gradually grow closer to each other every day. We have had our ups and downs but due to the distance and the way we have to communicate, we learned to keep our heads cool and TALK things through.

I hate the whole procedure we have to go through once we decided to close the distance.
I will move to him... taking my pets and child with me ... to the Philadelphia area.

I already got tired by reading what needs to be done.

[mcnab]

I love the feeling I get when I see my SO after a long absence. I love how after that feeling goes, it feels like we were never apart.
I love planning everything we are going to do together, and the promises we make to each other for next time we are together.

I hate the distance, and I hate how we can't "kiss and make up" physically (though we are really good at not fighting/arguing whether we are together or apart)
I hate the immigration and visa laws making the relationship a lot harder than it needs to be

[Sanja]

The good thing about it is that I get to travel more often than I normally would have. Everything else, not so much fun. There is a 7 hour time difference that is hurting our relationship a little. At first, it didn't seem to be that big of a deal but he also wasn't working. He recently started a new job and now I get to see him on skype for 30 minutes once a week. Not nearly enough!

[chizatlauren]

Love:
1.) The fact that we learn a lot about each other more: culture differences, food, moral values, language.
2.) He can travel to come see me and learn new things! Vice-versa
3.) I love the feeling of missing each other sometimes. It makes us more encouraged to work hard to earn money to come see each other.

Hate (Brace yourselves):
1.) 15-hour time difference!!!!!!!
2.) 8,000 miles! I can't just swim in the Pacific Ocean to come see him!
3.) Visa, visa, visa. I live in a third-world country so Visas are hard to approve. They always think I'm an illegal alien.
4.) The fact that he's American stirs controversy at home. They always think he's rich and all that. He's not. Duh. I think my family's even more well-off than his.
5.) The language barrier. Sometimes I can't fully express myself in English, and sometimes I don't understand his American jokes. But he still looks cute though. :3

[raech18]

I can relate to chizatlauren. I also live in a third world country and hubby is in the us. So visiting is both expensive and the visas are hard to come by. The 15 hour time diff also screws my sleeping patterns.

[kiara_silver]

I love that we've had to focus on communication for our relationship, really build up a trust. I love the first hugs, that moment after months of seeing each other when u finally do, that first hug and "your here!" moment. It almost makes the distance bearable. I love that we come from two different places so we do get a cultural mix.
i love that since were long distance weve had to be creative, I love all my love letters i dont think i would have them all or even more then one if we were close distance, and getting roses delivered to your door from your love almost 5000 miles away does make a girl feel special lol

The hate list, ehh i'll try not to write to many. I don't love the time difference, he goes to bed and I'm up for many more hours, and sometimes i wish i could call him at night and just chat like we do in bed when he's here. I hate that its so far away, that we have to take a plane to see each other which makes it cost so much. I hate that when i need him he cant be here within the hour. I hate that i can't see him and so I don't know if hes upset or hurt unless he comes online and tells me, not being able to be there for him is the worst. The list goes on, I have things I like but none out ways my want to close the distance and be with him permanently.

[MattDavies86]

What I love, is that special bond we have just by talking so much, I don't know about the rest of you, but when I had a gf who lived near me, we didn't REALLY talk, I mean, not in depth long conversations about thoughts and feeling, ye we "talked" and went places, but with me teirak, we are so far, we can't do that, same as you guys, and we really talk, really connect on a whole new level, because talking is all we can do, we've learnt so much about each other we might not have known had we been together for this time.

What I hate? She drives me fucking nuts sometimes, seriously, it's the little obvious things that she just didn't do or think of to say or let me know, drives me absolutely spare, but I still love her so.

[Ahava]

I hate that he lives so far from the airport that does flights to Finland. Argh.
I hate that I'm broke and don't know when I will be able to afford to travel to him next.

I'll fill in the bits I love about it when I'm less pissed off (as I am now, too pissed of to concentrate on work and trying not to cry.)

[JoeyBug]

I hate that he lives so far from the airport that does flights to Finland. Argh.
I hate that I'm broke and don't know when I will be able to afford to travel to him next.

I'll fill in the bits I love about it when I'm less pissed off (as I am now, too pissed of to concentrate on work and trying not to cry.)

If you want someone to vent to, feel free to PM me

[JoeyBug]

What I love: This is hard for me because although we met when I was visiting the states, I have only been back once since and it was during the time we weren't in contact so...travelling, while it sounds fun, is not something I'm able to do. I do love that when he's here he likes to do a mix of tourist stuff and a mix of what normal English people do. I love that despite the distance we've made a great start on our relationship

What I hate: I don't actually mind the time difference too much (5 hours) but I do hate the uncertainty of the visa process. We're trying to gather every little thing that may help us together and it feels like an uphill battle. I hate not being able to comfort him when he's upset and withdrawing into himself...I hate that I'm probably never going to meet his family or friends face to face - except if they make the trip for the wedding- and I know his parents won't be able to for health reasons.

[DiorAllure]

Eff. Ing. Visas.

[Catface]

What I love:
We always have something new to learn from each other. There's so much we don't know about each other's cultures and things that seems normal for me will blow his mind and vice versa.
I love that it let us get to know each other really well before anything physical happened. Yes, we talked about being physical but we refused to show our bodies on cam and got to know each other instead. I believe this really cemented our relationship.
I love that it gives me an excuse to travel the world and the opportunity to see new things that I never thought I would experience. In the future it will also open doors to other places we decide to explore.
I love that it's giving me the motivation to learn a new language.
I love that it gives us both time to be alone and work on ourselves. I'm not very good at working on myself, I could just devote my life to my SO and be mostly okay with that, which is why this is perfect. It forces me to break that habit and learn to be more selfish sometimes.

What I hate:
Of course I hate the distance. Who doesn't? 3000 miles isn't exactly next door.
I hate the looks and comments I get from some of the people I work with.
I hate the 5 hour time difference. It's midnight here and it's 5 am where he is and he stays up anyway, which isn't good for him.
I hate that I can't just call him up and have him come over when I'm hurting. I want hugs and physical comfort, and that's not something he can give.

[JoeyBug]

What I love:
I love that it let us get to know each other really well before anything physical happened. Yes, we talked about being physical but we refused to show our bodies on cam and got to know each other instead. I believe this really cemented our relationship.

What I hate:
I hate that I can't just call him up and have him come over when I'm hurting. I want hugs and physical comfort, and that's not something he can give.

Wanted to add these to my own loves/hates I hate also that I can't comfort him when he feels bad because he can't comfort me!

[Ahava]

I promissed to add what I love:

-TALKING I'm sure no CD couples exchange as many thoughts as we LD's do. Like somebody said you get to learn to know each other well before getting physical.
So in a LDR there's no doubt about the other persons interest and surely no one who would be just after "one thing" would be doing the ld thing.
-Love getting texts, emails (though a lot less than in the beginning), Skyping, IM'ng etc
-Care package
-I know what he is doing at any time much better than I know what my friends are up to!
-the excitement of visits getting closer and then when you actually see them
-I still get exited/butterflies when I hear from him

[savysaur]

1. I think I'm the only person who honestly loves the time difference my SO and I share. Being in the US and him in New Zealand, the difference in weekdays IS difficult, but I've learned to love it so much. When we first met, I adored the thought that when he was watching the sunset I was getting ready for the sunrise. Now that it's been a little over a year, I LOVE that he's a day ahead because of the shows he watches! It sounds odd I know, but I LOVE watching the shows he watches and listening to the cricket games and music he listens to.
2. Another thing I think I'm the only one that loves it is the distance. Maybe not ALL 6000 miles, but I do love that when we talk we're not always talking about the same old drama or people. It's always something new that's happened at work, or a new holiday to learn about (it was ANZAC Day yesterday there, and he told me all about it), different weather. Another part of the distance I love is the fact that not everyone knows all of our business in the relationship. If people want to know anything, they have to ask me in hopes I'll tell them all about the problems or complaints I have. (With no luck either! Ha!)
4. I LOVE when people aren't biased about my choice. When they ask questions and try to understand my side of the story instead of just writing me off as a naive young woman make me feel so much better about my decision and it actually makes me so happy that people are willing to make an effort. (:

1. I don't like the fact that I'm constantly having to switch my internal clock though. Half the week I live on California time and the other half of the week I live on New Zealand time. It screwed me up quite a bit when I went to school but now it's not as much of a problem when I have extra time to sleep in!
2. I hate how when people ask how I know my SO isn't a rapist or killer or creep, and I hate the looks people give me when I tell them he's in a different country.
3. I hate that I don't get the support from the majority of my friends and family about being in a ldr. They're only convinced he wants to hurt me, so there's no support from them (and they tell me it's a waste of time to even try). The support from my friends that do encourage me is wonderful though!