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what do you love and hate about your international relationship?

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    #46
    as much as i hate the distance, I love a lot of the independence. I like that we come from different cultures and there's always something to learn, though sometimes that makes the dialogue a bit more difficult. I like that we managed to create our own space and that we get to talk a lot.
    The time difference actually works for our sleep schedules.

    I hate not being able to touch him...and that i am not a part of his world, I don't know his friends and we can't really be a couple. He can go out and hold the hand of any girl he meets randomly.. but he can't hold mine and I can't hold his. He can go out on a random date and hug her, and he will have shared more with her physically than he has ver shared with me.

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      #47
      Originally posted by nicole View Post
      hehe Last night my SO was in the second bathroom where the toilet paper lives, I was yelling from the other one "Can you get me some loo roll?!" he's like "whaaaaat?" I yelled "LOOOOOO ROLLLLLL" about 5-6 times till my British to American translator kicked in for " toilet paper"
      This made me laugh so much! I arent so lucky to meet my SO yet (28 days) but even when were on the phone or skype he asks me how my day has been! For like 5-10 minutes im rattling off how my day went what happened etc. and then he goes " i didnt understand what the hell you just told me"

      I get so angry with him and he laughs because he finds it funny but im like. "man why didnt you stop me from talking and ask" we find it hilarious how we say things so differently. Like i say spaghetti bolonaise and his like .. nooo spaghetti and meatballs!

      Im sure when im over there it will get easiser! LOL

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        #48
        Originally posted by savysaur View Post
        2. I hate how when people ask how I know my SO isn't a rapist or killer or creep, and I hate the looks people give me when I tell them he's in a different country.
        3. I hate that I don't get the support from the majority of my friends and family about being in a ldr. They're only convinced he wants to hurt me, so there's no support from them (and they tell me it's a waste of time to even try). The support from my friends that do encourage me is wonderful though!
        I hate that too, the fact that he's not here 100% of the time means he must be lying about having a wife or whatever, or that he's only with me to get access to my god daughter (her and her mum live with me) because it's not easier to get access to kids where he is?! I just shake my head at them and try to laugh it off, but it does hurt, especially from people whose approval I'd like - my mum for example. If it's a friend, and they do it a lot, I try to distance myself, don't need that crap from people... that you have to go through it too!

        Originally posted by Louise_B View Post
        This made me laugh so much! I arent so lucky to meet my SO yet (28 days) but even when were on the phone or skype he asks me how my day has been! For like 5-10 minutes im rattling off how my day went what happened etc. and then he goes " i didnt understand what the hell you just told me"

        I get so angry with him and he laughs because he finds it funny but im like. "man why didnt you stop me from talking and ask" we find it hilarious how we say things so differently. Like i say spaghetti bolonaise and his like .. nooo spaghetti and meatballs!

        Im sure when im over there it will get easiser! LOL
        LOL, we have the same kind of conversations! (also my SO was in Kansas when we reconnected and I'm in the UK so similarities ) Sometimes he needs a translator and then I say that he butchered the language, not me, and he acts offended and says he made it better! LOL
        Joey & Scott
        Met: April 2002
        Lost Contact: August 2002
        Reconnected: April 2010
        Together: May 20th 2010






        [COLOR="#800080"]"Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight." Benjamin Franklin

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          #49
          I just shake my head at them and try to laugh it off, but it does hurt, especially from people whose approval I'd like - my mum for example. If it's a friend, and they do it a lot, I try to distance myself, don't need that crap from people...that you have to go through it too!
          JoeyBug, my mom gave me support for it, she adores him! My dad on the other hand...but he's a parent so I can understand his side. I've had to distance myself from those who give me a constant hard time for it too, and now some of them are starting to see the crap they gave me was useless. and thank you! Just stay positive hun! (:
          Last edited by savysaur; April 26, 2013, 04:13 PM.

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            #50
            What I like about the LDR is how we're not entire dependable on each other or too clingy while still being heads-over-heels for each other. I'm not one to always be with my boyfriend, I'm the kind of person that needs to live her own life and have her own private time as well. I don't think my life should resolve around solemnly on a relationship and I'm glad that LDR allows me to do my own things on my end while still meeting him online on certain nights to text and call. My SO's the clingy type though and he used to always try and contact me on ALL of his free time (sometimes he still does) but like I have my life and I need my space, he should be living his own as well (and it's not like we don't talk to each other every night).

            While I'm not a clingy person I do enjoy physical contact greatly. It's extremely painful for me not being able to touch him, hold his hand or hug him as I would in person so I try my best to not think about it. Actually, the physical part I could leave without, but not having him close to me in person would kill me. I would not be able to handle this relationship if we only met, say, once in two years or so. Because we're leaving so far apart we can only meet about once a year and our stays won't even be long (around a week) because of different hemispheres, thus season holidays on opposite times of the year. It's another thing my SO doesn't share with me, the need for physical contact during LDR, unless I'm right in front of him in person (which he caresses me a lot and initiates most of the touching and kissing). He's ok with us just talking over the internet and spending long periods of waiting to see each other, and it pained me a lot when he delayed his plans to visit me this year. But it's something I must bear, the lack of having him close to me.

            Looking for the future...


            First Meeting: March 20 2016
            Got separated: August 2016
            Reunion: July 2017
            Officially together: January 2018
            ... And many meetings later ...

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              #51
              I love the cultural experience, I hate the visas.
              "I love the stars and the moon because I know that I'm always sitting under the exact same ones as you"

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                #52
                Love: the accent and cultural differences:P

                Hate: distance, travelling time, airports and visas lol
                ~Shaunna~

                *Distance isn't an obstacle when it comes to love, but rather a great reminder on just how strong true love can be*


                We're engaged 2014 - save $$, 2015 - get married, 2016 - make the big move!

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                  #53
                  I love:
                  - That I get to have so many experiences in Japan a normal tourist wouldn't be able to.

                  - That I've been able to travel so much. Not just have I been to Japan more times than I can count, but he also has given me the possibility of traveling so many places around the world. A poor student like me couldn't normally travel so many times a year. Just this year alone (2013) I have been to Japan and Hungary and in the following months I will go to China, Brazil, Poland maybe somewhere else as well.

                  - That I get to speak Japanese so much. Without him I wouldn't have been able to use my Japanese much outside of Japan.

                  - That I get to live in Japan. i know living in a foreign country isn't easy and sometimes I actually feel like staying in Denmark, but another part of my have always wanted to try and live in another country.

                  I hate:
                  - The 7-8 hours time difference.
                  - The distance.
                  - The long flights. If he just lived in the big cities like Tokyo, Osaka or Nagoya, I wouldn't mind the flights, but I always have to transfer both in Europe and in Japan. Which is also why we want to live close to a big international airport when I move to Japan.


                  Originally posted by nicole View Post
                  We were showing his grandparents all the photos we took in Paris at New Years, and they asked if we'd go back, my SO was like "heck no there's so many other places we need to see before we go back anywhere!" It made me smile Can't wait for our next trip! I dunno where we are going for our honeymoon yet, I'm hoping for somewhere I've never been before- somewhere in Africa perhaps?
                  Or Asia maybe XD

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                    #54
                    After much hard thinking and reading other replies I have finally gathered what I love with my international LDR:

                    -I get so many opportunities to tease him about, well, everything over there

                    -I get plenty of laughs when people are impressed that I talk English, at alk, with my SO

                    -I get to learn about weird stuff and holidays over there (Red Nose Day?) while he gets to learn about first of May, Midsummer and so on

                    -That we both live within the EU

                    The hate list would be endless, but here are some:

                    -That we are so dependant on the internet!

                    -Language barriers. Its not a big problem for me and my SO or his family, but already my dad has troubles with pronounciation, and most of the post-war generation either can't or aren't comfortable with speaking English

                    -While the cultural diffetences are fun sometimes, I hate having to learn a whole new system with insurances and stuff, not to mention driving on the wrong side of the road (we are driving onthe right side here, i thought i was most clever now)

                    -The fact that our families wobt be able to meet without quite some trouble

                    -Flights, the transport to abd from airports, converting what £X is in €...

                    The list goes ever on
                    We part only to meet again ~ J.Gay

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                      #55
                      i hate the time difference too, we got 3 hours differece..... and what i find good about ldr is i have more time for myself, but i miss him all the time

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