Girlfriend tired of Texting/Skyping/IMing

[mhamzahkhan]

Hey everyone,

I've been with my girlfriend for 1 year now.

I really love her, and I do think she loves me too, but for the last month or so she seems to be very distant from me. Like, she doesn't talk to me much.

I try to have a conversation with her, but it doesn't really get anywhere, she seems quite distant and uninterested.

I've been very patient with her, but today I got quite frustrated and told her how I've been feeling. She said she knows it is her fault, but she said she is starting to find it hard to text.

I get that, i mean generally we were texting each other through out the day, and sometimes it does get a bit tiring, and that is fine I guess, I mean, when you are texting, you kinda have to stop whatever you are doing in order to reply. If it wasn't a LDR then I doubt most couples are ALWAYS texting throughout the day, just in a LDR text is one of the ways that a couple could be close, otherwise it would be hard to talk to each other.

But for me that only happens occasionally, maybe once every two weeks or so, but she has been like that for 1 month. I still get it I guess, it can be frustrating stopping everything in order to reply every couple of minutes.

On the phone, she is fine, we have fun, and both feel really happy talking to each other, but I can't really be on the phone to her ALL day, even if I could, the phone bills would be crazy.

I really do believe her when she says she loves me, and that she wants to be with me with all her heart, but I'm not sure what to do. I asked her if she wants to still be with me, and she said yes, with all hear heart. I believe her, and I want to be with her too! but.... without talking, how could a LDR work? It can't.... :S

It's been really tough on me, I miss her like crazy. I love talking to her. I feel like it has been ages since I last had a proper conversation with her. I don't know what to do.

Have any of you guys had this situation before? Do you have any advice?

[audrey92]

I have been there before. My boyfriend is a very busy man, and there is no way we can talk to each other all time. I just honestly believe that you have to make the time you do get to talk worth it. I mean we didnt talk once for 2 months, we could only write letters but we made it work. To be honest it made our relationship stronger. Maybe try that, just write down your feelings and mail a letter to her. She just might send you one back!

[mhamzahkhan]

Well the problem is, its not that she's busy.

She's just tired of text messaging. She doesn't want to do that anymore. That includes emails, letters, instant messengers.

The only thing that is OK for her is Skyping and Phone, but it's impossible to do that all the time.

I just had a long talk to her on the phone, she said she will try again, so we'll see how it goes. I guess I'll just be patient with her as I have been for as long as she needs. I love her to much to lose her.

[audrey92]

That is really hard. I'm glad to hear that you two talked and are going to work on things. Its great to hear that you value your realtionship that much )

[XxFranticLovexX]

My So and I are currently in a situation where we can only talk through writing letters and, if I'm lucky enough to get through to him (it isn't his phone and the person that it belongs to is usually very busy), a phone call once a week which will probably average 10-20 minutes. This just started but we think that it's going to last for at least a month or two.

That said, we have never once used skype to talk nor have we ever done a video chat either.. though we have met in person and done a lot of IM and voice chat.
A relationship can work with limited contact, you just have to want to make it work and you both have to try to keep in contact whenever you can.

Have you tried telling her how important the contact is for you? Maybe she doesn't realize how much contact she is actually ruling out by wanting to discard doing anything text based. I would talk to her about it and try to compromise. Don't try to force her into doing something that she doesn't want to to, but maybe work it out so that you are both happy? Something like "I'll try to *insert something here* if you try to message/IM/text me more" or something along those lines?

I hope things work out for you both, good luck. ^_^

[makoman]

It sound's like your SO is just going through a bit of a faze. There are other ways of having fun with email. I use 'incredimail' sometimes it has emoticons and nice backgrounds. It's more personalised than regular email. I can suggest downloading a free sound recorder and one of you can record something for the other one. I like to sing so I sing to something while recording it. I put it on 'sendspace' because its a larger file. If this sounds like something one of you might enjoy I'd be happy to give you a pointer on the file format I use for song files. My GR like it when I tell her that I had a song in my head that made me think of her.

Athough chatting on the phone is dear you can leave a nice message breifly for the other person on there voicemail or answer phone. I don't have this option because I can't phone my GF. I bought a recordable postcard one time. I didn't know what to record so I haven't used it yet. pics with a thought to go with them can be attached to emails.

I hope something I've suggested gives you an idea.

[Moon]

You really can have a relationship without being in touch all day or texting. My guy and I almost never text, unless it's something immediate and important, for us it's just too time consuming and tedious, maybe that's how she's feeling? We have a voice chat almost everyday for about an hour, more on weekends, and it's just more personal, and you can read more into it by catching inflections and tones of voice. It sounds like perhaps she needs a little space, and all that texting is just too interfering, you can try some alternate communication methods that's maybe more scheduled and regular, that way you both know what to expect and can plan for it.

[MoveAlong92]

if shes too tired to read or reply your emails, ims, and all those typing stuff,
why not send her a sweet song for her to listen to
like this song, XD enjoy~

[Gecko]

Hello there.

My girlfriend lives in the Philippines and I live in the USA. During daylight savings time in the spring and summer we are 15 hours apart, and in the fall through winter, there is a 16 hour difference between us (the Philippines doesn't have daylight savings time, while the USA does). This often makes it difficult for us to work out communications between us, especially because we both working, and I will soon start college up again this fall. While we try to Skype as often as we can, we can only Skype on weekends and even then there is often a lot of problems with the internet connection, on both sides. While this presents a large frustration in our ability to communicate, we are both very patient in our relationship and willing to endure these things, despite having never met each other in person.

Our primary contact is through Facebook, and we talk very constantly through our Facebook messages. During our first three months or so of dating, we averaged about 200-300 short messages throughout the day. Even though we are both busy people, this was made possible because of Facebook Mobile. I don't know what you and your girlfriend use to text each other with, but let me describe Facebook Mobile to you. It is a free service through Facebook, all you have to do is enter your cell phone number into Facebook and then Facebook texts you whenever you receive a message, someone posts or comments on your wall, or whenever someone sends you a friend request. This means that whenever my girlfriend sends a message through Facebook, I receive her message through text, and I can reply to it via text. Assuming you already have an unlimited texting plan, the service should be free.

If you and your girlfriend have an international texting plan and you are texting each other directly to your cell phones, I would imagine that it would be very expensive to communicate all the way between England and Indonesia. So if that is the case, then she might not exactly be tired of the "texting" so much as the "cost" of the texting. Just food for thought.

Also, if you feel that your relationship is losing its "romance" or its "thrill", then I would suggest getting her onto this website, if she hasn't already made a profile, then I think you should ask her to make one. I think that if you two navigate this site with its many suggestions, activities and helpful members, then your relationship would definitely take a turn for the better. Good luck, and I hope you work something out! If you would like any more ideas or suggestions, feel free to private message me. I'm not on this site as often as I would like to be, and I may not check to see if someone has replied on this thread until after advice would be needed.

-A Supportive And Concerned Friend

[Kiyama]

I wouldn't have the nerve to text/message with my SO all say long. When we have date night he always starts chatting first and it annoys me as I want to really talk to him and I generally prefer phone calls once a day. That doesn't mean I don't like emails or texts here and there but as the prime means of communication I want to hear his voice. Maybe she just feels the same?
And yes that comes with the fact you won't be able to talk as much but you see, a lot of people here do that and it doesn't mean she doesn't love you

[hans]

I recognize this, but for me it was about chatting. Some time ago we both got so tired of chatting so we almost stopped. Then we tried Skyping, but the quality was not that good, and she had problem with her phone, so we just had to get back to chatting (puh ). But after a while we where back to "normal" again strangely enough.
I have also noted for myself that whenever I feel not so sure about my girlfriends feeling for me, then I have an urge to communicate more. Now I feel very good about our relationship and that makes it easier. Talking about how you feel and what you can do together is a good way of dealing with the problem.

[summerstillhere]

I have been there before. My boyfriend is a very busy man, and there is no way we can talk to each other all time. I just honestly believe that you have to make the time you do get to talk worth it. I mean we didnt talk once for 2 months, we could only write letters but we made it work. To be honest it made our relationship stronger. Maybe try that, just write down your feelings and mail a letter to her. She just might send you one back!

Ha! I would love to try that. Not talking to him for months. Maybe that will work.
because he's also a very very busy man. And he's workaholic.

Too bad that the letter he sent me is missing, I didn't receive the letter and it has been more than a month since he posted it. I didn't get the chance to read what he wrote for me ;(

[D.4C]

if you're worried about phone calls being too expensive...do what my SO and i have recently started doing...cuz i have somewhat limited minutes on my phone...skype...or yahoo messenger using voice...or one of the many others...i know you can only really do that when you are on the computer or whatever...but...i know i love it...

[Beckaaaaaa]

I've never had this problem, or at least not yet. But from what I can tell she does seem like she loves you, but yes talking all day everyday can be tiresome and annoying. Maybe you guys need to find another way to communicate. Instead of always skyping or texting maybe write each other a letter? Hand written letters are so much more personal and make someone feel so much more wanted. You can send trinkets or even gifts for each other. On this website Michelle and Frank talk a lot about someone program, sorry i'm not sure what they called it. But you guys can send each other a short video to the other. That may help, and when she hears your voice she'll see your face as well. Which trust me, being a woman we love seeing you more than anything. And since it's not typing, it's using your voice and hers it may help the problem with her being not in the mood to text. Hope this helped,
Becka

[DemonxOisin]

I just came here to say that I am like your girlfriend. I never was really that much into texting, and then I met my boyfriend, and we started texting like 24/7. We're talking like 10000 texts per month. Almost 2 years in, and I'm tired of it. I hate texting. God I hate it so much. Both him and my best friend (who is also long distance) have noticed that I avoid it as much as possible now. I love them both absolutely with everything in my heart, it's just that I hate how long texting takes and using my fingers and oh I'm so lazy.