I feel so small and helpless, with huge plans and ambitions!

[InnocenceWildx]

My SO and I live an ocean apart from each other. We met for the first time three months ago and he stayed with me the entire summer. Unfortunately, he just returned to Ireland this past Thursday. Our current plans are to close the distance next summer, after I graduate High School. I'm terrified of posting my concerns here because I don't want to be judged for my age and accused of chasing the wind. I know that this community is very supportive and I'm grateful for that, but I can't help but to be a little nervous coming in front of more experienced and wise LDR couples. But anyway, who better to ask for help than those who came before me? ;] Here's what's up:

I'm stoked to be traveling to Ireland next summer. I've never been out of the U.S though and, honestly, have NO CLUE where to begin. I only have about $1300 in my savings account, but have every intention on finding a job while I finish my senior year. That takes care of the money I'll need to get there, but what about the money I'll need to stay there? My SO will be making money to help support us both, but it wont be nearly enough to aid in closing the distance permanently. He says it's hard to find a job in Belfast right now, and will probably be even harder for me since I'll be a foreigner. How do I go about solving this money issue? Should I find a job in Ireland and secure it BEFORE I go so that I know I'll have some source of income? How would I even go about doing that since I'm in the States?

Another concern of mine is actually getting there. .....How? I don't know. All this talk about student and work visas so that I can have a job and go to school....but what else do I need? Like I said, I have no clue where to begin. I have no clue what to do. I've only been in a plane twice, but not that I can remember. Now I'll be traveling internationally by myself. I just don't know how to prepare. My mom keeps telling me to do research, but I don't know WHAT to research.

I'm afraid. I'm scared out of my mind. But I know you have all been here and done this, and I just need help. Please, help me. Lol. Much appreciated.

[Moon]

First, and most importantly, you can't just move there. It is much, much more complicated than that. Start here --> https://www.visajourney.com/

Also, if you do manage to move there, it won't be legal for you to work, unless you go about getting the right visa, see link above. I'm not sure you'll be able to save enough money at this point from your after-school jobs to live. Where will you stay? If you're both planning on getting your own apartment, and you aren't working, you're gonna need several thousand dollars, keeping in mind that North Ireland is, I believe, using pounds, which will automatically decrease your savings quite a bit once you convert it from dollars. I realize you don't want to be judged because of your age, but there are just so many things a young person doesn't know to consider yet about these types of things. Do A LOT of research and investigation from numerous sites, like this one https://www.inis.gov.ie/, and then consider if this is really a feasible idea. You might be much better off waiting an extra year or so.

[InnocenceWildx]

Thank you so much for giving me starting sites. You make great points and I'll take all them to heart. I understand the complexity of it all which is why I feel so helpless. I don't know how to go about doing any of this, and no one I know seems to either. I know it's such a huge ambition and I don't know how we're gonna do it. I know it's extremely naive and I know that there will be consequences and situations that I simply wont be able to handle. But something inside of me wont let me go about without at least trying.

My SO said that apartments are relatively cheap, much cheaper than where I am. And that's WITH the dollar to pound conversion in mind. We were also wondering is somehow my going to college could make this at all easier or significantly harder.

I heard through the grape vine that if you have a student visa you can gain access into the country for at least two years. But I'm guessing that's not the same thing as earning citizenship. Talking to my SO about this gets a little sticky sometimes because he's very laid back and I tend to panic more often than not. He keeps saying everything will work out and that we'll have plenty of time before next summer, but if most of the responsibility is on me to get myself over there - then I need to be prepared.

[marbear31]

Hi sweetie, I have an Irish SO as well--it's so nice to meet someone in a similar situation! First off, if you can get to Ireland, it is the most beautiful country in the world. I've been over there twice now (lived there on my own for four months on a student visa as well), but a lot of the paperwork was done through my university for the initial visa. I just returned a little over a week ago from spending the summer with my SO in County Westmeath, so I do have some experience over there, if you have any questions about day to day life, etc., I'd be happy to answer them!

Now, from what I'm reading, it sounds like you've just decided you want to move there, and that's about all you've decided. I think you need to go there for a visit before you decide to pick up your entire life and move there, especially because there are some things in Ireland that are very different from America. Food and petrol expenses are way higher, for example, and that's not including if you have adequate transportation and getting used to driving on the opposite side of the road! :P Also, if I read correctly, you guys met three months ago. I'm no person to say not to move quickly (I fell fast and hard for my SO, and we've been together since the day we met), because I decided on my first day in Galway that I was moving back there to live some day, but I had many moments of, "Am I doing the right thing?" last semester. I've never doubted once I need to be with my SO for good or that I want to live in Ireland, but I think you need to make sure you're in love with the country before you uproot your life, in case your relationship doesn't work out.

As far as money, work as much as you can now to save up for this potential move. If you want to work in Ireland, you can apply for a work holiday visa for a year. I know Northern Ireland is part of the UK, and therefore visa rules might be slightly different, but since you're a U.S. resident, you have a bit of easier access into most countries. In the Republic of Ireland, you have 3 months max you can stay on a tourist visa, without any paper work, so that would be your cushion window if the same applies in the U.K. There are several members on here who are from the U.K., and they would be able to help you much more than I can, but I assume, tourist visa-wise, it's nearly the same as the Republic of Ireland. (Moon always gives excellent advice, so check out her recommended websites!)

Also, have you considered going to college in Ireland? That would certainly make access to the country easier if you decided to get a degree over there, but, once again, that's a HUGE decision, and I wouldn't make it lightly. I'm in my last year of college, and I can tell you that where I was then, compared to where I am now, is so vitally different in terms of life goals, because I met my SO--I could never have told you freshman year I would have plans to live in Ireland permanently! Life can take you anywhere, and it's best to always be prepared for a complete 180.

That being said, I'm so happy for you that you've found someone you want to be with! However, because you are so young, and your relationship is so new, I'd take these next few months to really consider all options, and maybe consider just visiting over the summer before you permanently close the distance. It sounds incredibly exciting, and I'm so happy for you that so much adventure is ahead! The most important thing to keep in mind, though, is that it rains a crapload over there. You'd better be okay with rain if you want to live in Ireland. :P

Best of luck sweetie, and feel free to message me if you want to talk more! I'd love to hear how you and your SO met!

[marbear31]

Also, I think it's important to note, if you want to work in Ireland (legally) you're going to need a sponsor saying you have a job, accomodation, etc. When I went over for the summer, my SO wrote an official letter saying where I was staying, etc., and it also helps to have a copy of a return ticket to prove that you're staying within the legal guidelines, especially if you don't want complications later on if you're planning to be a resident. Legalities are the one thing you don't want to mess with, especially over a distance!

[kittyo9]

Generally, studying abroad is a very easy way to get into another country for an extended period of time, because you have a legitimate and unquestionable reason to be there. I would definitely consider it. It will be difficult in terms of money, especially if you are supporting yourself, but you would get an education, degree, and more time with your partner out of it, which puts you in better standing in the long-run. Citizenship comes much later in the game, after you've lived there for many years on a visa (see below) and have established yourself in the country.

As Moon said, moving to another country just isn't a simple process. The visa application process takes months to complete, and you have to make sure you apply for the right one. Talk to your SO about it, he might know a little bit about what kind of visas you need. Read lots about it and maybe look for expat (expatriate, people who have moved elsewhere from their home country) blogs or forums for people who have moved to that area from the US. Definitely check out visajourney, it's a great resource.

[flugelhorn]

marbear31 is right, Belfast is part of the United Kingdom. According to the United Kingdom Border Agency website you can go & visit for up to 6 months as visitor. However, if you want to work, you need a visa. marbear31 mentioned applying for a working holiday visa to Ireland & here is some information on that here.

The same visa for the UK (that I know) isn't open to Americans, unfortunately. It's called the Tier 5 Youth Mobility Scheme.

You mentioned you're still in college, would it be possible to do an exchange or study abroad program to Belfast, anywhere in Ireland, or even somewhere else in the UK?

[Zephii]

Being young doesn't stop you doing stuff, unless you let it of course.

The posters above have given good linkage and advice I'm not from either of those countries, and havn't looked into the visa situation for them specifically, but no matter where you're from or where you're going, it's not easy and a lot of the information just doesn't make sense. Don't give up though, you will get there. Also, don't listen to your SO when he's saying "there's plenty of time" because visas are often time consuming.

A good place to start researching is by asking question - the kind of questions you asked here. Make a list of them, for example:

What kind of visa will I apply for? What do I need to do to get that visa (some require you to have a set amount of savings. Some you need to fill out lengthy forms. Some need other "supporting documents" - lots of reading right there!)?

Where am I going to stay when I first arrive?

What do I need to do upon entry to the country? (Some places require you to get additional documents before you can start working, get a tax file number, or SIN number. You'll likely need your own bank account. Are you planning to drive over there? etc)

What do I need to take with me? (Passport/ Money/ Clothes) What is the baggage limit I can fly with? Will my electronics work in that country, or will I need adapters? (Check the country uses the same level of power)

[InnocenceWildx]

Thank you so much everyone. I've found a couple websites, like the UK embassy of the US, which has helped me IMMENSELY. And another one that lists different types of visas and assesses which one you would need (I don't remember the name of that site atm). I'm really thankful that I have the support of my family, as well. I never thought they would be so willing to help me accomplish what I think is very possible. I know this is going to be difficult, but I'm a hard worker and can make it happen.

[princessmeg1328]

The best place to start would be the UKBA website that flugelhorn gave you. It has all the information you need about visas and the different ones that are available to you. If you're really serious about moving over there, I would probably look into getting a student visa. I'm not sure how long it's good for, but you can always get an extension if you continue to study there. Also, you can work while on a student visa for 20 hours a week. There a couple of other good things about a student visa too. They tend to get processed in a couple of weeks rather than months like settlement visas, are much less expensive compared to some other visas, have set requirements, and you'll be able to switch to a spouse visa without having to leave the UK if you and your SO decide to get married.
This is a direct link to student visas. If you have any questions, you're more than welcome to ask me.
Good luck in your search for more information!