My parents are freaking out a little...

[blueyedreamer]

I'm planning on meeting my guy in February...

By going to meet him in Bahrain (I'm from the US). We've never met in person before but we'll have known each other for a little over 8 months by that point.

My parents are terrified I'm going to get kidnapped by him and trafficked for sex. Or that the government there will imprison me (HA, they're a tourist country, how will the get tourists if the IMPRISON their tourists?).

Any ideas on how to handle my parent's fears? I understand they are protective of me, but I have no fears of going to meet this guy. He understands the political climate since he's lived there since his teens (and all my research has backed up what he's told me) and I have no doubts about him or my overall safety.

[mllebamako]

I think the best you can do is share as much of your plan with your parents and help them become more comfortable with it. What kinds of things are you doing to keep yourself safe? Share those things with them. You may trust him completely but the fact is, you've never met him, and it would be good to take certain precautions just in case.

[TwoThree]

From what I heard, Bahrain is definitely one of the "cool" countries of the area. Do some research about it and show them that it's nothing like Saudi Arabia (for instance).

As Mllebamako said, show them that you're being responsible, that you have looked up the info of the US embassy, that you know how to get there in case of any sort of trouble (like losing your passport), give them your itinerary, the exact addresses you'll be staying at, etc. Maybe plan a Skype session between them and your boyfriend? That could set their minds at ease.

And yeah, be very careful.

[Caitlin2009]

well tell them you will call them when you get there so they know your safe, and actually do that so they dont panic, then however long you plan on staying call once in awhile to check in

[kittyo9]

My parents freaked out too. It took months before my mom was even mildly okay with it. Just make sure they have all of the information on your trip (all transportation, itinerary, locations you will be staying, etc) so they know you've planned this out, and make sure they have a way to contact you while you're there (even if it's just online). Register your trip with the US embassy online and have a backup plan (name and location of hostels or hotels that you can stay at in the event something goes wrong). Also maybe have your parents Skype with your partner, if you can.

Other than that... just go. You may have no doubts, but your parents always will. Just prove to them that you are a responsible adult and you can safely make your own decisions.

[Biddlybiddlybombop]

The best you can do is give them as much information as possible. Promise to ring them often, let them know exactly where you're staying and what you're doing.

I know it's like being a teenager again, but the truth is that until you're home safely, after the trip, they aren't going to stop being anxious about the trip. And if you want to make things as easy as possible if your SO wants to visit you, or for more long-term plans, you're going to want to make this as easy for your parents as possible. And that means making a lot of concessions that you wouldn't normally to make them as comfortable as possible. Even if it's a pain in the bum, it'll be worth it long-term.

[Verojoon]

My mom was very nervous about me going to the U.S. to meet me SO! (And I was 31 at the time) I actually called her from his mobile phone once I had been with him for a few hours, so that I could reassure her. She also liked that she had his phone number that way!

That being said, it will be even more difficult to convince your parents considering the turmoil the general area is in. My SO is originally from Iran (he had been in the US for only 2 months when we met) and would love me to go back home with him one day.. I would love it too. I am writer and am writing a story set in that country (this is actually how we "met") But when I discuss it with my mother she was very very nervous about the idea. I understand her point of view completely.

In the end, you need to take the most pre-cautions possible and make sure you are safe... the rest is your business, not theirs... harsh, but true. (Doesn't hurt to keep them updated to make it easier on them though!!)

[Honour]

I can understand why your parents would be worried. The idea of me going to the US terrifies my mum and she always gets tearful whenever I mention it. I would just do what you can to reassure your parents by any means possible. Set up emails between you and your folks so you can email each other whilst you're away? This could be a good way of doing it. You could take lots of photos and send them to your parents so they could see how things in Bahrain are. If they allow Skype in Bahrain, and your parents have access to a computer with a mic, then you could skype and tell them how things are over there. Give them information about where it is exactly where you're going to to meet your SO. If they have a smart phone and you do too, you could always download a messenger like Kik or Whatsapp...these let you text for free across countries, and it's how me and my other half stay in touch when he's busy and not on Facebook or Skype. Writing letters whilst you're there might be a viable option too. I hope things go well for you

[Nbaby]

Im happy to read posts like this. Im not alone . But yea they are your parents and they dont do it to make you feel bad or anything. They are just worried. They are just ... parents lol. But like others already said just share as much as information as you can with them. Skype call them when you're there. Give them updates so that they wont worry as much and that future visits will go easier. I have yet to convince my parents to let me go on a trip 2 meet my SO for the first time. Good luck .

[Snowlilly]

Honestly, I would never travel to the middle east alone so I can see how they worry! Can you take a friend with you, or maybe he can come visit first?

[pink elephant]

I think TwoThree and kittyo9 are spot on with their advice. Especially register with the US Embassy in Bahrain, no matter how short your stay.

This is probably going to sound like a weird suggestion, but maybe if they knew a little more about your guy through a Skype video call, they could learn more about Bahrain through him? Why not ask your guy to organize a small presentation about his country, culture, where you plan to go, etc. -- as cheesy as that sounds, I think it's possible your parents will feel a little more relieved if they know a bit more coming from the source/reason (your guy) that you're going to his country.

Keep up on the news and encourage your parents to as well.

Also, make sure to keep up with travel alerts through the U.S. Department of State.. https://travel.state.gov/travel/cis_.../cis_1001.html

.. to be honest, after reading the info on that link, I can understand why your parents might be freaking out a bit. But I wish you the best of luck.

[milesofadoration]

I had a very close friend that was in the exact same situation. She lived in Texas and her man lived in Bahrain! I was a little afraid for her to go visit him, but eventually I realized that he was a pretty cool and he told me all about the area. You just have to get people use to the idea.

[Romeo s Juliet]

I understand you are being bold and want to go alone, but my first thought was its not safe you going alone. maybe i m the only one who feels that way. cant you ask him to visit you and your family? your parents will panic less, and it really will be the best option for you and him in the long term, because that way he can make a good impression on your parents.

[kittyo9]

Also, make sure to keep up with travel alerts through the U.S. Department of State.. https://travel.state.gov/travel/cis_.../cis_1001.html

.. to be honest, after reading the info on that link, I can understand why your parents might be freaking out a bit. But I wish you the best of luck.

Noooo, noooo, don't read the US department of state website! xD EVERY country looks like a bad country! I'm just kidding, you should read it just to be aware, but take it with a grain of salt. What is mentioned on those pages is the absolute worst of everything.

I'm pretty sure the US Dept of State website is to blame for at least 40% of my mom's lack of support for me going to visit my SO.

I understand you are being bold and want to go alone, but my first thought was its not safe you going alone. maybe i m the only one who feels that way. cant you ask him to visit you and your family? your parents will panic less, and it really will be the best option for you and him in the long term, because that way he can make a good impression on your parents.

As a US citizen dating someone in a foreign (and not first-world) country, I have to say that it really isn't that easy. We wanted that so badly and would have given anything for my boyfriend to come visit me first, but he applied for and was denied a visa two times before I decided it was time to stop doing what everyone else wanted me to do. It is often much, much, MUCH easier for a US citizen to travel than it is for someone to travel to the US, especially financially.

[blueyedreamer]

Honestly, I would never travel to the middle east alone so I can see how they worry! Can you take a friend with you, or maybe he can come visit first?

He's working pretty hard on school right now, and while there are breaks in between terms he'd be here, at most, less than a week until June of 2013. I am open to my brother going with me (and my SO is open to my brother coming with me) for the first part of my visit, but frankly I'd prefer my brother doesn't go with me. I'll be there to see my guy and explore a new culture, I don't want to use up that precious time entertaining my brother.

I think TwoThree and kittyo9 are spot on with their advice. Especially register with the US Embassy in Bahrain, no matter how short your stay.

This is probably going to sound like a weird suggestion, but maybe if they knew a little more about your guy through a Skype video call, they could learn more about Bahrain through him? Why not ask your guy to organize a small presentation about his country, culture, where you plan to go, etc. -- as cheesy as that sounds, I think it's possible your parents will feel a little more relieved if they know a bit more coming from the source/reason (your guy) that you're going to his country.

Keep up on the news and encourage your parents to as well.

Also, make sure to keep up with travel alerts through the U.S. Department of State..

.. to be honest, after reading the info on that link, I can understand why your parents might be freaking out a bit. But I wish you the best of luck.

I'm totally planning to register with the embassy in Manama, thanks for reminding me

As far as those travel alerts go, I think they're a little alarmist so that people who are a little dense about possible dangers realize that they should always think. If that makes sense. If you go on forums about international travel that have threads on Bahrain I've read almost entirely good things! The single bad thing I read was that a woman out jogging had a car pull up along side her and make a rude gesture and cat call at her. I've had that happen to me in my home town standing next to my father! I'd be with a guy who has lived in Bahrain and it's political environment for over 10 years and would never willing get me into trouble. I think travel alerts are VERY useful but that they need to be taken with a dose of sensibility. I've also noticed that if you go on the UK's Travel Alerts (fco something) website it has green for Bahrain, versus orange for Mexico and orange & red for Russia.

He actually suggested skyping with my parents about a month ago. Neither of my parents have taken him up on his offer so far. My dad likes reading books written about past wars in the US... the books he finds most fascinating, unfortunately, have to do with the middle east 20-40 years ago and are written by people who were in those wars. The picture in his head of every middle-easterner is a crazy fanatic who just wants to kill as many americans as possible.