Girlfriend issues :\ Help? Please...

[NeverToFarApartx3]

alright , my girlfriend and i have been arguing every day , we just got in a fight yesterday because she called me stupid and i didn't feel that was right , the day before was cause she hung up on me , and so on . i don't know why we fight so much ?? the first time we faught was because she went to a strip club . she's in new jersey and i'm currently in washington . i don't want to break up with her , but i can't keep doing this arguing thing ? we're on the fone for hours , saying may one - three things the whole entire time . is that normal ? :\ we text - kinda a lot - more than we talk when we're on the fone . last night we said the " l o v e " word to eachother , for the very first time . ♥ .. help ? :s

[MaggieS]

Judging by your signature, you've known each other much longer than the week or so you've been together? Did you ever fight then, or is this spontaneously happening now?

I don't have much background for the fights to go on, but honestly, getting upset enough to fight about being called 'stupid'? I get that it's not a nice thing to hear, but is it worth fighting over? My SO and I, we've not said stupid before, but we've said choice words to each other when in a less than happy conversation. Usually it's him calling me irrational, and me responding with 'asshole.' I don't really get upset anymore when he says "I'll chalk it up to YET ANOTHER irrational fear..." because I know he doesn't get it that I hate being called irrational, he's just used to saying it. So I automatically reply with something I know will get his attention. "jerk, ass..." The first time, it really surprised him, and he was like "hey, you're not being very nice" and I knew he was paying attention at that point, so I explained WHY. We both apologized for what we said, and it was better

I think the trick you two are not getting is the apology. Even over really silly stuff like what you have been arguing over(really, fighting 'cause she hung up the phone?) a simple apology can fix just about anything. And calmly explaining how/why you're upset when not in the middle of an argument can really help the situation.



Have you talked to HER about how the arguing is wearing on you? I think if it's something you're considering breaking up with her over, you should at least MENTION it to her first.

[Bramo]

The key to it is communication and when she says things count to 5 or 10 because it's usually small things that will suddenly blow up when you can't see each other face to face.
Make sure it's not other things that are greeting to you and you are taking it out on her. Speak about the small things at annoy you and also make sure you understand why they are annoying you
Hope this helps xx

[NeverToFarApartx3]

Judging by your signature, you've known each other much longer than the week or so you've been together? Did you ever fight then, or is this spontaneously happening now?

I don't have much background for the fights to go on, but honestly, getting upset enough to fight about being called 'stupid'? I get that it's not a nice thing to hear, but is it worth fighting over? My SO and I, we've not said stupid before, but we've said choice words to each other when in a less than happy conversation. Usually it's him calling me irrational, and me responding with 'asshole.' I don't really get upset anymore when he says "I'll chalk it up to YET ANOTHER irrational fear..." because I know he doesn't get it that I hate being called irrational, he's just used to saying it. So I automatically reply with something I know will get his attention. "jerk, ass..." The first time, it really surprised him, and he was like "hey, you're not being very nice" and I knew he was paying attention at that point, so I explained WHY. We both apologized for what we said, and it was better

I think the trick you two are not getting is the apology. Even over really silly stuff like what you have been arguing over(really, fighting 'cause she hung up the phone?) a simple apology can fix just about anything. And calmly explaining how/why you're upset when not in the middle of an argument can really help the situation.



Have you talked to HER about how the arguing is wearing on you? I think if it's something you're considering breaking up with her over, you should at least MENTION it to her first.

I'm not breaking up with her, I don't get that angry O_o, she just gets mad cause when she said hurtful things I don't usually answer her texts or calls till' I've calmed down. She's not the apology type girl lol. We already talked about it, she said she won't call me names anymore. It's just the hanging up on me thing that irritated me because WHEN she hung up on me, I was telling her something she did that irritated me. She hung up in my face. I'm over it now though. (: It isn't worth loosing her. ♥

[NeverToFarApartx3]

Judging by your signature, you've known each other much longer than the week or so you've been together? Did you ever fight then, or is this spontaneously happening now?

I don't have much background for the fights to go on, but honestly, getting upset enough to fight about being called 'stupid'? I get that it's not a nice thing to hear, but is it worth fighting over? My SO and I, we've not said stupid before, but we've said choice words to each other when in a less than happy conversation. Usually it's him calling me irrational, and me responding with 'asshole.' I don't really get upset anymore when he says "I'll chalk it up to YET ANOTHER irrational fear..." because I know he doesn't get it that I hate being called irrational, he's just used to saying it. So I automatically reply with something I know will get his attention. "jerk, ass..." The first time, it really surprised him, and he was like "hey, you're not being very nice" and I knew he was paying attention at that point, so I explained WHY. We both apologized for what we said, and it was better

I think the trick you two are not getting is the apology. Even over really silly stuff like what you have been arguing over(really, fighting 'cause she hung up the phone?) a simple apology can fix just about anything. And calmly explaining how/why you're upset when not in the middle of an argument can really help the situation.



Have you talked to HER about how the arguing is wearing on you? I think if it's something you're considering breaking up with her over, you should at least MENTION it to her first.

& No , we didn't fight before .