Advice on being away from home and being away from SO

[Bramo]

A little bit about me:
Went to uni where I met my beautiful girlfriend and we lived together for 3 years, she was the first girl I had ever dated and I was her which was strange but we got through it.
Spent 3 months apart after being together 4 and have had numerous stints since ranging from 1-2 months.

She got a job teaching in Phuket Thailand for a year which is amazing and I am working on a grad scheme for a supermarket things are good work wise.

But I have moved out of my home town to where I know no-one and all I want is to be with my girlfriend, what makes it works is that she is really upset being apart too I just wanted some advice about starting this new job and how I deal with feeling so disconnected. We dont get to talk much because of the time difference and it sucks.
Help please everyone
Thank you

[flugelhorn]

Communication is key. If you can't talk because of the time difference, can you text or write emails?? Having something to look forward to helps as well, it makes the distance seem shorter if you know in X days, weeks, or months you get to see your SO. Sending packages is great as well, it's something to look forward to & it's fun to send things. I bet she has things from home she's missing that you could send her.

Have you heard of the website meetup? It's a great way to meet people in your area.

[Bramo]

I'd not heard of meet up so thanks for that!
We've been writing emails but it's just not the same we both need the support of each other right now and I feel so badly that I am letting her down because of how upset I keep getting when I know I should be supporting her in a new country!!
Thank you for your advice

[Biddlybiddlybombop]

It's really difficult being away from your SO and being away from things that are familiar. And you're likely to hear this a lot on this site, but try to keep busy. Try and find ways of filling your time up, and it'll get easier. If you can, plan to visit your hometown sometime in the near future, so that if you're feeling a bit battered by the new place, you can go home, see some friends, and get re-energised.

I'm at Uni, my SO is on the other side of the world, and my hometown is five hours away. I find that, seeing as I can't just do visits to my SO every month, being able to plan to go home for a weekend is an in-between fix. It's not your SO, but it is people you feel relaxed and comfortable around. It really helped me when I was settling down at uni; knowing there was somewhere I could go when things got rough.

Do make an effort to join something in the area - a gym class, a sports team, even a local amateur drama group... even if you try them and hate them and only go three or four times, people will get to know your face, and in little towns or villages, it makes you more approachable. People will say hi to you, ask you how you are, make you feel a little more like you belong.

I know your first instinct is to write to your girlfriend when you feel down, but remember that she's gone away for an experience, and allow her that space. I don't mean "don't talk to her" or "ignore her" or "don't tell her that you miss her". I mean try to avoid making her feel like she's abandoned you. Because even if that isn't your intention, if every single day, you send messages saying how much you miss her and how down you are, she's going to start blaming herself for going away. That's a hard thing to ask of you, but try your very best to be supportive.

I really wish you the best for this.

[lucybelle]

I meant to reply to this a while ago. Anyways, being in a new place is something you can bond with your girlfriend! She's also in a new place (even if she's been there for longer) Ask her for ideas on how to meet people and get to know the place. She can send you on missions every day, like "today you must walk down a new street", "today you must try a new restaurant", etc.

Best wishes!

[Bramo]

Thanks for your comments they have really helped thanks for taking the time xx