2 Months with Absolutely No Contact

[SleeplessAndLost]

After going through a difficult period, my SO, who lives in the US whilst I'm still in the UK, has decided that it would be good for us to have a two month period where we have absolutely no contact so she can concentrate on med school. I'm so torn right now - I'm a very extroverted guy and I have quite a bit of interest at university from other girls, so I almost feel like I should just move on and just accept the fact that I'm never going to be with that one person who's perfect in every way for me. She wouldn't believe me if I told her, but no girl I've ever met has come anywhere near to comparing to her and I just want to be with her. She said that she feels this will help our relationship, but the problem is that I don't feel like I'm in a relationship anymore - she's literally cut me out of her life. I was supposed to be visiting her at home during Christmas, and she said she wanted that too before she notified me by e-mail that we would have no contact for two months; but, now I can't even arrange this because I can't contact her regarding what dates are suitable. I don't even know if we'll get to talk before I meet her at the airport there. This is having a huge effect on my life: I feel like dropping out of school, and generally giving up on life. I planned the rest of my life around us being together, and now I have no idea what's going to happen. I'm finding it difficult to eat, drink and sleep, and my friends are constantly asking me why I look so miserable now. I can't even tell her any of this - I have no contact with her. Can someone PLEASE help me...I have no clue what to do.

Thank you.

[prinzeza87]

im sorry to hear that, im kind of on a similar situation, we're like a brake, i do get miserable, like i cry n cry the get tired of that then, i feel lonely n sort of empty, have no humor for much n then move on, later i get the same again, but still i keep remaining myself not to let this situation get me out of control, i dont deserve it, but its kinda hard not to feel miserable while the emotional part its crashing us.
in my case i havent talk to my SO in 2 days n that seem soooo long already to me.
in ur case when we need a brake for whatever reason we have a limit to only 2 wks because of u go longer than that, both person will eventually stop missing the other one n it will be easier to move on, 2 months for me personally its way to much, i would of just move on
contact her asap n clarify if y'all still have a chance or not so u can move on with ur life n get rid of the misery slowly , good luck to u guys n hope thing work out as well.

[Tooki]

Move on

Two months is too much to ask, especially given that she has just cut you off like she has.

She also cut you off before even discussing things like you visiting during Christmas.

You are a young bloke. Enjoy your life.

[Zapookie]

I honestly don't get why two months without contact was needed. Not talking isn't going to make any of the unresolved issues go away. I hope you both know that. I also couldn't go two months without talking to someone I loved. Maybe you should just send her an email and reach out to her and explain your feelings. I'm not the best at talking but when I can write things down without having someone there to question me, I can get my point across much clearer.

[lademoiselle]

Going two whole months without any contact whatsoever is unbelievable! There may be times when school/work needs to be a priority, and then you may have to cut down on talking time for a while. But cutting it off altogether is neither productive or healthy I agree with the others about making a final attempt to contact her - the idea of sending an email is a good one - and seeing what happens. You have nothing to lose by doing so, although all things considered I think there's a strong possibility you'll have to move on. Whatever you do though, please remember to take care of yourself and don't give up on school etc.

Best of luck to you.

[D.4C]

wow..this has to be so hard...i don't think i could do it honestly....i need to text or hear her every single day...we are so close...that without that contact...i think i would slowly go insane....also...it kinda seems to me that there may be something else going on there...if your SO loves you that much and is that happy...why would they want to have a 2 month break with no contact...for me...throws up red flags....i wish you the very best....

[Biddlybiddlybombop]

I think you need to contact her to tell her how you feel. Decisions concerning your relationship shoul be made jointly, I think it's unreasonable for her to expect you to be ok with two months of no contact at all.

But be prepared for a difficult conversation. I think if she's going for two months no contact then there's something going on that she's not telling you.

I'm so sorry that it's hurting you so much.

[Softy]

Personally I wouldn't be able to survive without having any contact with my bf for 2 months.
And if he would ask me to have no contact for 2 months.... I'd ask why and I'd find it very weird.

Because I believe that no matter how someone is busy, it's not human to ask the one you love to wait 2 months without contact...

But I think you two should really have a talk like now-ish.
You don't deserve to suffer like this.

[kteire]

Whoa, that's just mean! Nevermind that half of my friends are in med school and several are in happy international LDRs and because of that, I don't understand why she'd have absolutely zero time for 2 months... but it's rather rude to just say, 'talk to you in two months'! Do you have any way of getting in contact with her to talk about this? Or is she just ignoring completely attempts at communication? She could have at least had the decency to talk to you about this before deciding for you. If you can't get in contact with her, try and move on. You don't necessarily need to do that by dating people who won't make you happy compared to what you have with her, but try to distract yourself and think of new plans for your future. If she's in med school, she isn't exactly going to get less busy with time, and what if she decides to push you to the side every time she gets a bit overwhelmed? I couldn't do it.

[princessmeg1328]

The only things you can do is try to contact her. Two months is completely unfair to ask of you! I couldn't imagine going that long without talking to my SO. When someone is as important to you as you should be to her, you make time for that person no matter how busy you get. I agree with kteire. You have to find a way to contact her and talk to her about this. That way you can at least find out where you both stand on this issue. Two months is a long time to go without talking to someone, and a lot can change in two months. You need to let her know that this is unacceptable to you. I also agree with Zapookie. Send her an email telling her how you feel. It puts the ball in her court, yes, but it also gives you time to find out how important you are to her. Like I said if you really care about someone, you make time for them. I hope everything works out for the best.

[Verojoon]

Once, when my SO and I were going to break up, he said we should touch bases again in 1 year and see if we were happy with our decision to break up and happy with where our lives were at that point... We thought about it overnight, I cried all night. In the end the thought of having no contact for 1 year made us realize we couldn't be apart... and so we ended up not breaking up (that time).

I think it makes no sense to take a "break" like that. It's like breaking up without giving you the chance to move on.

[joy]

I know you think she is perfect for you, but I believe you are involved with a disordered person. To me this sounds like a $#$@ test of how much abuse you are willing to take. The silent treatment, ignoring, making the other person voiceless is extremely abusive. I guarantee she will be back and this will happen again.

I think you should move on, block her email and IM, and do not have contact with her again even after she comes back to you.

[elizabethjp2010]

honestly, i would say email her, or FB her. a LDR is built on trust and communication, because we dont get to be with our SO's we miss out a lot on the physical attributes on a relationship and must rely on the emotional. i would say move on, 2 months is a relationship death sentence. Assume youre not going for christmas otherwise she would have brought it up. If it is meant to be it will work out for you, you can always try again in a few months, but it sounds like you both need your space. hope that helped, goodluck