Can language be a barrier?

[KoreanLover]

Hey, I guess a lot of you guys are in international relationships
Me either~ I come from Poland and my SO is Korean. Of course we met online, but after few months we totally feel in love each other...
We comunicate in english of course, but we both are no perfect at it ^^;
I'm going to finally meet with him in summer (buuu, 10 months left .__.), cuz I'm going to visit Korea for two weeks
And, even we can understand well now, I am a little afraid how it will look like when we meet in person... I have hope that 'love can say everything', but...
Propably, after my graduation (I am in senior class of high school) I will try to get at university and study korean language, so I am sure that after some time we will be able to talk in korean easly^^
Anyway, I just wanna ask if someone of you had/has simillar problem and he/she wonders about it too?

[kittyo9]

We don't quite have that problem, as I am a native English speaker and we communicate in English, but my SO will on rare occasions not understand what I'm trying to tell him because he doesn't understand the way certain words are used in English, and likewise will have trouble getting me to understand what he's saying because he is using a word that I do not interpret the same way he does. I find that this most often happens because he translates some things directly from Spanish, but the same words in Spanish and English do not always have the same contextual meaning. I can definitely see this happening between you two because you both come from different language backgrounds.

[Oldblighty]

I have trouble understanding my husband sometimes and he's American....and I'm British Lol Just certain words, terminology that we get confused about from time to time......But it must be much worse when you have to deal with a total different language......

[Moon]

As long as you're both proficient (not necessarily fluent) in a common language, you should be OK. You might get a little stuck at times, but you should be able to use other words to get around it. Don't worry so much about not being perfect, especially these days with so much technology to help you. Phone apps are particularly helpful, mine even has an app that'll translate whatever I say and speak it in Finnish. Even just having Google Translate can be a big help. Good luck.

[Softy]

There might be a lil language barrier but maybe also a cultural barrier.
I lived in Japan for almost a year and did meet guys through friends over there.
I could speak/read japanese (daily conversation level, nothin more).
But to me, it was more the cultural barrier that took a lil more work than language.

But when you love someone, you can overcome all barriers : )
Just keep practicing and get info on the culture and/or the area where he lives and such.

I'm sure all will be fine : )

[Tooki]

The only trouble I had was with my girlfriend understanding my accent when we met, plus a few Australian idioms and slang that she didn't know. Now we communicate fine. Her English is very good and she can speak to my friends without any issue as well.

And smartphone apps are a great help! I have an Estonian app that has common phrases, with an audio recording.

[Bex2804]

We don't quite have that problem, as I am a native English speaker and we communicate in English, but my SO will on rare occasions not understand what I'm trying to tell him because he doesn't understand the way certain words are used in English, and likewise will have trouble getting me to understand what he's saying because he is using a word that I do not interpret the same way he does. I find that this most often happens because he translates some things directly from Spanish, but the same words in Spanish and English do not always have the same contextual meaning. I can definitely see this happening between you two because you both come from different language backgrounds.

Woohoo!!! Another English- Spanish couple!! I don't have any problem as my SO speaks perfect English, and if he does struggle he either corrects himself or I correct him.... If it came down to communicating in Spanish however- we would be stuck as I don't speak a word!! XD

[Carenza LaRue]

yeah.... what Kitty09 said...

I do understand English.... my SO is from New Jersey USA and I am Dutch.....but sometimes he uses particular words or even slang that I do not know.
I learned British English in school, so sometimes I tell him something he doesn't understand because I use the British variant... haha...
this is very funny sometimes...

he told me about the word 'douchebag' and when one uses that.
to me, the word 'douchebag' meant nothing. I didn't even know what it was...
hilarious moments, you can imagine, when I told my British friends about 'douchebag'.... they didn't know it either...

he tries his best to learn simple Dutch words but it's hard for him... it's easier for me to speak English than for him to speak Dutch.

what frustrates me is, whenever we have an argument, I can't find the right English words to express my emotions....
he always wins arguments because of that..... and then I tell him' you should argue in Dutch, see if you're smart as well then'
he understands then that it is not so easy for me, although it might look like it's easy

funny thing is, we seem to have developed our own language.... one only we understand.... it's a mixture of English and Dutch.... sort of 'Dunglish'

[Bex2804]

what frustrates me is, whenever we have an argument, I can't find the right English words to express my emotions....
he always wins arguments because of that..... and then I tell him' you should argue in Dutch, see if you're smart as well then'

ooooo... an idea for when (IF) you next have an arguement , use a translator such as google translate to write what you want to say in dutch then translate it into english, 99% of the time google translate translates it properly into something that makes sense!!! just an idea hope you don't have too many arguements!xx

[Dziubka]

With arguments it's very important that the partner whose mother tongue you use keeps in mind that they are in advantage and doesn't use it against the other one.

I get frustrated sometimes, when I can't explain something as well as I could in my language. Especially when I'm excited, angry or nervous I make a lot of mistakes and then I get even more frustrated because I think that what I'm saying probably sounds very stupid or ridiculous to my boyfriend. It's a vicious circle*sigh*

I do think that language can be a barrier. To me talking is essential in a relationship. If I couldn't exchange my views or ideas with my boyfriend or I wouldn't be happy in the relationship. But different things are important for different people. I've seen couples that had a massive language barrier and seemed very happy

[milaya]

With arguments it's very important that the partner whose mother tongue you use keeps in mind that they are in advantage and doesn't use it against the other one.

I get frustrated sometimes, when I can't explain something as well as I could in my language. Especially when I'm excited, angry or nervous I make a lot of mistakes and then I get even more frustrated because I think that what I'm saying probably sounds very stupid or ridiculous to my boyfriend. It's a vicious circle*sigh*

I have the same problems. During our every day conversations I have no problems with expressing myself in my SO's language (Japanese), but if we have an argument it gets harder sometimes - mostly because when I get nervous or angry I speak really, really fast in any language - even my own. So I of course end up speaking really fast Japanese when we're fighting, added with some grammar mistakes, which often makes my SO say "I don't get what you just said" - which just makes me more angry.
Last time we had a big fight I even ended up saying "it's also because we have to speak your damn language all the time! It's unfair!". I of course didn't really mean this, since I do enjoy speaking Japanese - just think we all can have some breaking points. XD

Some mentioned google translate, which might be sufficient in some languages - but a no no in some. It's useless in Japanese. And since Korean grammar is a lot like Japanese, I would not use google. It has given me some laughs though - especially once when google turned our e-mails about documents for our marriage into "him getting a detective to find the papers and crimes for his second wife and go to bed" (have no idea how it turned into that, especially since I was the first person to marry my SO XD )

I tried putting a recent text into google from my SO, just to again prove my point XD:
I have been working together that Norwegian boss, I do not seem to realize that my hotness.
Everyone says that a representative from office, but I have to say ride the captain and board representative is Japanese, and from that person to consult if there is something wrong when the meeting.

[Bex2804]

^^haha that made me giggle! Yeah, 'suppose it only really works for like the more commonly known languages ( if you get want I mean). I do feel bad that my SO has to talk to me in a different language but he constantly reminds me that he is happy to speak English all the time

[KoreanLover]

You know guys, recently, one of my friends told me very apt remark...
'As for the whole language barrier thing, I don't see that as a problem at all - I see it more as a plus really :P That's why I prefer girls from other countries cuz most of the time they don't speak English as a first language which gives me a chance to learn more about them, their language, their culture, etc.'
And I think he is right, isn't he? ;D

And about argue, well, I guess th moments are the hardest... Cuz since we both me and my SO don't speak english fluently, it often leads to confusion and misunderstandings between us... But luckly, we always explain everything to each other very quickly

[Tooki]

You know guys, recently, one of my friends told me very apt remark...
'As for the whole language barrier thing, I don't see that as a problem at all - I see it more as a plus really :P That's why I prefer girls from other countries cuz most of the time they don't speak English as a first language which gives me a chance to learn more about them, their language, their culture, etc.'
And I think he is right, isn't he? ;D

And about argue, well, I guess th moments are the hardest... Cuz since we both me and my SO don't speak english fluently, it often leads to confusion and misunderstandings between us... But luckly, we always explain everything to each other very quickly

That is definitely true. It's a big appeal for myself to my GF.

[Sukkerklumpen]

I see the difference in language and culture as utterly fascinating. He is the only one that speaks fluent English in his household. His mom none and his dad speaks and understands it in a very fairly conversational level. Which is great cause I could actually talk to him. I tried talking to his mom using key words but most of the time we relied on him to translate. We are both working on learning the other's language and the only way the language barrier affected me was that in social situations I wanted to interact but was left out just sitting or standing silently cause I don't know enough to actually be social in Norway.

It actually annoys me that here in Puerto Rico there aren't any places that teach Norwegian :/