I need some advice..USA Visa

[WeirdAddeh]

My SO and I have been together for almost 2 years now and we have always talked about meeting someday. We have always been happy together and love each other very much, but lately I have been very pressured about us meeting.

I live in Mexico and he is in the USA. In order to come see him, I will need a tourist visa, but I know it is very hard to and they keep your money (over $100usd) even if they dont approve your visa. And then you have to wait like 6 months to apply again if they deny it..


I really want to come see him, but every time I have talked to someone about wanting to get my visa have been telling me it is unlikely i will get it because :
1. I don't work
2. I havent started college
3. Don't own a house
and therefore I cant really show that I have no intent on staying in the USA...

He is in college and wants me to visit him THIS winter break (Dec-Jan), but I am afraid I will spend my money in vain to try to get the visa for next month.
I have explained this to him, and even asked him if he would be okay with visiting me in Mexico, but he says no because he doesn't know Mexico and would like to be able to take me out to eat, movies, etc..

I love him so much, and he loves me, but he has been saying "If we keep pushing the date, what if we end up not being able to meet for years? I don't want to wait that long" because we have been wanting to meet for the past year(and it has always been me who had to visit, but I have had various good reasons why we havent been able to meet yet).

Question: Is the risk of losing the $100usd+ plus having to wait ~6 months to try again for the visa worth potentially getting it? And if I dont get it/choose not to take the risk, how can I explain this to him?

Thanks for any advice you may be able to give me. :3

[snow_girl]

You only need to post this in one place, be patient people will reply

[WeirdAddeh]

Sorry, I didn't know where to post it. I edited the other one to be asking only about getting the visa and any advice on how to get it

[Moon]

Well, if you do try for the visa and get denied, I guess he'll have to come to you then. To be honest, it sounds very selfish of him, it's nothing for someone in the US to visit Mexico, but not so easy the other way around. He should understand this, and make the effort to come to you, who cares if he doesn't know Mexico? That's a really lame excuse, if you ask me. What will he do if you get denied? Do you think he'll finally go to Mexico, or will he make you wait another 6 months, and possibly waste your money again?

[Tooki]

That sounds pretty selfish indeed.

Why can't he take you out to eat in Mexico?

It sounds like an excuse.

[Schlafmütze]

I agree with the others that his attitude is very selfish, which makes me think: Is he really worth taking the risk, time and money you would be putting into getting the visa? Only you know because you have been with him for almost two years.

If I were you, I would probably not be so worried about the money, but about his selfish attitude towards something that should be equally important for both, I would be worried and at some point sad that knowing he has it easier -I know it is easier for americans to go to Mexico, than the other way around- he is finding stupid excuses to not come. Remember: "If you really want to do something, you'll find a way. If you don't, you'll find an excuse."

[Dezface]

Agreed with the selfish. Seems like there's other reasons he's not saying. Him visiting you would be infinitely easier and I'd be pressing him on that front instead of letting him pressure you.

[kittyo9]

The reality is: yes, it is very unlikely that you will be granted a visa. You can try, but the Embassy is not sympathetic by any means, least of all with lower-income countries with a high level of immigration to the US, so it will most likely be a waste of $160. Take it from us-- my boyfriend is in college, on a national sports team, and was getting paid to do research, and he still got denied. Twice.

You know, there's nothing wrong with YOU taking him out places. He can even pay if he wants to, but you need to give him a little reality check. It is ridiculously easy for US citizens to travel, and it's ridiculously hard for almost everyone else to travel to the US. By pretending that's not true, he's completely ignoring his privilege and putting you in a very difficult situation, as most of the decision as to whether you get into the states or not is out of your control.

Tell him to put on his big boy pants and start planning if he wants to see you. I did it. So can he.

[mllebamako]

The chances of you getting a tourist visa are very very very slim. I wouldn't even waste your money. He needs to come to you and like other said, "not knowing Mexico" is a pretty lame excuse.

[Tooki]

Consider this (bear in mind that I didn't have visa issues as Estonia is in the European Union):

I went to visit my GF in Estonia. We both speak English, but I do not speak Estonian. I flew halfway around the world anyway and visited her.

Your SO can suck it up and go to an unfamiliar country.

[ioanna]

I'm also from one of "those" countries, and yes your chances ate slim and I understand your reluctance to spend 100 usd on something you probably won't be granted. Plus, correct me if I'm wrong, but 100USD is worth more in Mexico than what it's worth in the US (comparing cost of living and incomes and such)..
On the other hand, just wanted to say that maybe your SO is scared of going to Mexico? How old are you guys? Maybe his parents don't want him to go because of all the negative publicity Mexico gets and preconceptions; but he's too proud to actually talk about it?
You should try to have a calm mature conversation about this, maybe even gather some data about the ration of granted/denied visas, and figure something out.. Good luck!