HI!
My SO visited last month for 2 weeks and it was perfect!
I havent been very active recently as I've been in the post visit funk but it's clearing now so i thought i would put a quick update here.
From the moment he arrived it was like he never left. My son knew he was due to arrive but we decided to trick him alittle. My SO hid with my Daughter and i told my boy that my SO had arrived but was sleeping at home. As we walked across the playground i blocked my sons view as my SO and daughter tried to sneak up on him. They failed lol My daughter yelled her brothers name and he caught them. From that moment on we were a solid family unit, a team.
My daughter (Shes 6) and my SO had a hard time on the last visit. She was fine for the first week but after a weekend with her dad she was very cold towards him for the second week. When it came to saying goodbye she said a very hurtful thing to my SO and we were both concerned as to how she would react this time. In the months between visits i talked things through with my daughter to find the route of the problem. Her dad had told her in a very clear manner that my SO and I were naughty for falling in love and that he didnt like my SO. My daughter felt caught in the middle, she loves her dad but she loves my SO too and her dad made her feel like she was wrong to love them both. I did my best to tell her that it was ok for her to love them both using my dad and step dad as an example and she seemed better. I also spoke to her dad and told him to talk with her about it as it was hurting her, Thankfully he did . My SO and my Daughter had a blast and a much happier relationship this time around. She always wanted to sit with him and everything she drew/wrote he had to see it first. They even had there own bedtime routine!
SO: Goodnight
Amber: Goodnight
SO: Sleep tight
Amber:Sleep tight
SO: Dont let the bed bugs bite
Amber: NO! you got it wrong! supposed to say "Love you", We have to start again.
They did that every night and she always gave him a hug and a kiss after. The first week passed and the children went to visit there dad for the weekend, we were nervous and hoped the talking we'd done would work. The evening they came back she was alittle off but she was tired, the true test would come in the morning.
Monday morning we take them to school as normal, Amber is in her line and my SO moves back so the other parents can say goodbye (not alot of space between class lines). Amber notices he's gone and asks where he went, I point and off she runs! I watch as she runs straight to him and throws her arms around him and gets him to bend down so she can give him a kiss. All the worry was for nothing, my SO got a little teary as he was just so happy that she was happy. It meant everything to him to get on with my children and that was a perfect moment.
We had so much fun, the kids were off school for a few days (half term break) during which we went to the circus, Cadbury world and Think Tank (museum). It was exactly how our life would be when we finally close the distance... which makes saying goodbye for all of us so much harder. We had the usual tears from me and my SO doing his best to keep me thinking positive.
The day after he left, my son and I had a sad moment before heading out for school. Nick (my son) asked Amber if she was sad too... Amber said no. My heart sank but was soon lifted...
Nick: Why? dont you miss him too?
Amber: I just remember all the good things and that i'll see him soon.
BEST VISIT EVER!
My SO visited last month for 2 weeks and it was perfect!
I havent been very active recently as I've been in the post visit funk but it's clearing now so i thought i would put a quick update here.
From the moment he arrived it was like he never left. My son knew he was due to arrive but we decided to trick him alittle. My SO hid with my Daughter and i told my boy that my SO had arrived but was sleeping at home. As we walked across the playground i blocked my sons view as my SO and daughter tried to sneak up on him. They failed lol My daughter yelled her brothers name and he caught them. From that moment on we were a solid family unit, a team.
My daughter (Shes 6) and my SO had a hard time on the last visit. She was fine for the first week but after a weekend with her dad she was very cold towards him for the second week. When it came to saying goodbye she said a very hurtful thing to my SO and we were both concerned as to how she would react this time. In the months between visits i talked things through with my daughter to find the route of the problem. Her dad had told her in a very clear manner that my SO and I were naughty for falling in love and that he didnt like my SO. My daughter felt caught in the middle, she loves her dad but she loves my SO too and her dad made her feel like she was wrong to love them both. I did my best to tell her that it was ok for her to love them both using my dad and step dad as an example and she seemed better. I also spoke to her dad and told him to talk with her about it as it was hurting her, Thankfully he did . My SO and my Daughter had a blast and a much happier relationship this time around. She always wanted to sit with him and everything she drew/wrote he had to see it first. They even had there own bedtime routine!
SO: Goodnight
Amber: Goodnight
SO: Sleep tight
Amber:Sleep tight
SO: Dont let the bed bugs bite
Amber: NO! you got it wrong! supposed to say "Love you", We have to start again.
They did that every night and she always gave him a hug and a kiss after. The first week passed and the children went to visit there dad for the weekend, we were nervous and hoped the talking we'd done would work. The evening they came back she was alittle off but she was tired, the true test would come in the morning.
Monday morning we take them to school as normal, Amber is in her line and my SO moves back so the other parents can say goodbye (not alot of space between class lines). Amber notices he's gone and asks where he went, I point and off she runs! I watch as she runs straight to him and throws her arms around him and gets him to bend down so she can give him a kiss. All the worry was for nothing, my SO got a little teary as he was just so happy that she was happy. It meant everything to him to get on with my children and that was a perfect moment.
We had so much fun, the kids were off school for a few days (half term break) during which we went to the circus, Cadbury world and Think Tank (museum). It was exactly how our life would be when we finally close the distance... which makes saying goodbye for all of us so much harder. We had the usual tears from me and my SO doing his best to keep me thinking positive.
The day after he left, my son and I had a sad moment before heading out for school. Nick (my son) asked Amber if she was sad too... Amber said no. My heart sank but was soon lifted...
Nick: Why? dont you miss him too?
Amber: I just remember all the good things and that i'll see him soon.
BEST VISIT EVER!
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