Newbie looking for future reassurances!

[brains]

Hi,

I have been dating my girlfriend for 2 and a half months now, everything is perfect and I'm the happiest I could remember (of which I'm sure most people have experienced if they are on this site!)

We both currently live in London and we will do until I go to university before her September 2014, I appreciate this is just under 2 years away....but I (and I hope she does too) feel that 'this is it' and I could not even see myself with any other girl. We have even made provisional plans with our life (only loose ones!) about after we're both out of university to go traveling etc. The main issue is where we go to university, I have high hopes of doing an undergrad in the US for four years, where I will be returning home to see her for the whole break after each semester, the same will apply if I go to uni in the UK, except it is more likely for me to return home for the odd weekend or two. As my girlfriend is in the grade below me at school, after my first year at university she will also be facing the rigorous schedule of university life

I'm just looking for tips really....we're both really up for the challenge as we know our relationship is extremely strong at the moment and will only get stronger...I just want to know what to do really, if anybody has experienced this, whether it has worked etc.

Thanks!

- B

[DarrenLMD]

Hi there, congratulations for you two.

I am having a close to five-year relationship with my girlfriend, which is currently in a big trouble.

So I guess what I want to tell you is that if the long distance period is prolonged, prepare to face challenges and hardship because it's the way it is. The key thing to mitigate or solve any problem is perhaps to communicate effectively. This is very different from communicating a lot because you two must actually prepare and open yourselves up to each other. Do not keep any thing inside because the pressure can build up overtime until it reaches the breaking point.

Of course, you should visit each other often whenever you have the chance. If it is only for one day make that day the most romantic experience ever. Do not grow lazy because we people who love over a distance need to work extra hard to keep the flame burning. In short, don't be boring and predictable.

And finally you must trust each other. It is hard and you should always be aware of the bad signs but whatever happens, don't be a bitch about it. Screaming yelling and calling name will only precipitate the end.

I hope this help. Good luck ^_^

[kteire]

My advice - don't think so far in the future! You're going to have lots of time to figure out your future once you're in it, but right now just enjoy your time together and try not to let the impending long distance affect your happiness. It's very hard to go from being in the same city to long distance, so don't stress yourself out before you have to

[Hololz]

My advice - don't think so far in the future! You're going to have lots of time to figure out your future once you're in it, but right now just enjoy your time together and try not to let the impending long distance affect your happiness. It's very hard to go from being in the same city to long distance, so don't stress yourself out before you have to

I agree.

However, just as some reassurance. I'm currently in my 4th year. Some of my best friends here have been LD for that entire time. So its definitely possible to do.
Alternatively, I have known some people that set a date to talk with their SO at somepoint in the term about whether they can carry on the distance or not! Seeing each other for a weekend every 2 weeks or so isnt that bad. Besides, we have railcards/megabuses/national express which make seeing your SO so much cheaper :P

There's always the option of going to the same university or going to a university in the same city? If you do, do this however, I would recommend living in different halls and making sure you have separate friendship groups and interests so you don't become too isolated :P Also, you shouldn't make any decision just because its what the other person wants it has to be the right thing for YOU.

[princessmeg1328]

I agree with kteire too. Planning too far into the future isn't a good thing in almost any circumstance.

After two years of being long distance, my husband and I got married. We're currently waiting on a decision for my visa so that I can (hopefully) move to the UK to be with him. We're hoping to find out a decision soon so that we can finally live together.

Good luck!

[redapple]

Anything could happen before you go so don't fret. But I think if you can afford on coming back each break it will be doable. But just stay flexible, lots of people make it through the uni transition but some people do change and so do circumstances so don't trap yourself in too many promises or self imposed restrictions! play it by ear and hope for the best is my general feeling.