too much sometimes?

[summerkid]

I hope this is the right place to post this

Just wondering if you guys ever go through emotional rollercoasters as time goes by and you haven't seen your SO or have been talking to him/her for a long time and haven't yet met. I haven't met mine, but the plane tickets have been bought, the date is pretty much set and everything should be great... just that I am very unstable emotionally and i can't stand it. I'm up one minute and down the next.. I want to kiss him now and am very happy and inlove.. and then the tiniest stupidest things bring all manner of doubts and insecurities and I get sad. And the worst part is that i haven't been easy on him at all, and I am not acting mature.. I just turned into a 12 year old girl.

And it's just getting to be too much and I don't know what to do. I want to be together with him so much but i'm not , he's not here and I'm not there and even if he were, because we haven't met, there is no guarantee things would be going well .. and this constant anguish is just getting to be too much. So, do you go through this? Do you have any coping mechanisms? Something? I am overwhelmed with "longing" for him and for us, despite not actually knowing what does might feel or be like, and at the same time i am constantly aware that i might get disappointed or have my heart broken or something ... i tried taking my mind off .. but it just constantly keeps going back there.. i am also at a time in my life when my schedule hasn't quite picked up just yet ( though this wasn't a problem until now.. ).

Also...I thought about making a topic out of this, cause there is a "I love him/her today because... " thread.. but no "he/she is being annoying today by.. " or "he/she irked me today because.. ".. just the tiny things they do sometimes that piss us off you'd like to vent about.. caure right now, I wish there was some way to get him to friggin think before he acts... i appreciate the I'm sorrys, but i'm fed up with them... enough with the i'm sorrys.. I think he says that way too much. He's ruining the meaning of the word for me and it's also making me think it doesn't mean that much to him. It also makes me feel like a jerk because i don't want to be perceived as the one who is always critical or judges or something, but also he should pay more attention and learn from past actions. You can't fix everything with an I'm sorry and some things cannot be taken back, you cannot re-live moments or make them happen again, and you cannot un-hurt somone ( despite what toni braxton says :P )

[Zephii]

you cannot un-hurt somone ( despite what toni braxton says :P )

Hahaha, I see that I'm really going to enjoy your posts!

I hear you. I'm unstable on the best of days even when I'm not in a LDR. Somedays I wish I could get away from myself so I don't have to put up with the way I'm acting toward my SO, it's terrible!

The way I cope with being a crazy (a natural state for me, hopefully temporary for you) is I tell him what I'm feeling and that I don't understand it, I'm having trouble controlling it, whatever. I apologize for it, and I hope like hell he will help me make it stop. I do my best to tell him how to help. Which is usually a request for the avoidance of saying stupid shit for a few hours. And then I'll go for a walk. Sounds stupid, but wandering aimlessly in the neighborhood just makes the crazies go away for a while.

Is he Canadian? Those people seem to say sorry for just about everything. It's maddening, but I swear it's cultural, he's not trying to be thoughtless.

We used to have a thread (well, still do somewhere) that was "I hate him/her today..." to go with the love thread, but some people got their knickers in a twist over the wording, and it wasn't half as successful.

My best advice would be to spend time with others in the lead-up to your visit. Keep your days full and they will go faster.

[aniay]

Talking, telling him how you feel... That's the only thing you can do. Don't try to fight it, accept it as a part of you. I might be a newbie for LDR but I'm 30 years into dealing with emotional rolercoasters.

I usually sleep of them or just write a long, rambly, completely insane email and press send. I told my SO I am like that and he usually just tells me to "stop worrying" if he gets an email like that.

good luck with your own roler coaster

[dizzyupthemeg]

I agree with everything Zephii said.

My relationship is almost too much for me all the time (this applies to most relationships in my life, so this one being LD is even worse). I get overwhelmed very easily, and I have a very difficult time controlling my emotions. I would even dare to say that this got worse for me after we first met, because my SO has trouble showing any emotion. We are very opposite on this end. I don't understand it, and I can't always control it, but I can try to make it better for us both. I also have a very bad habit of taking out my bad emotions on my SO, even though he rarely deserves them. TALK TO HIM ABOUT IT. This is so huge for both my SO and I. For me, it's been a learning experience to recognize when I am being ridiculous or when I am over reacting. When I go from super happy to super sad over the little things, I am learning to try and take steps back and breathe. I'll go for a walk, read a book, exercise, or sometimes I just cry. I try to take at least an hour to get some kind of grip over what I am feeling before I make things worse for both of us. I always come back and apologize to my SO, even if I don't understand what I am apologizing for. He gets it, and he appreciates my effort. For him, it's been a learning experience of how to deal with me. He's learned when to let me overreact and be crazy, and when to call me out on it. Over time he has managed to talk me down from my "episodes" more often than not. He's a complete godsend because it takes a special type of person put up with me and my antics. We wouldn't be able to do it without our communication though. That's key for sure.

Type out a really long email and press send without editing it. It will help you get out all of your emotions, and it will help him understand on some level. I am the queen of crazy emails, but they help. It also helps me just to take a break away from it all. Go out with friends, go visit family, get out of the house and stop thinking about him as much as possible. It's refreshing every now and then.


Also, I am sad that my Canadian didn't get the "I'm sorry" trait. It skipped right over him, and I think it's something he needs every now and then. :P