UK & US, is it realistic to close the distance?

[Jango]

Hello, I'm creating this thread, because this is a constant topic on my mind, and its unbearable sometimes to think everything I have could be for nothing.

I'd really like anyone with any experience on closing the distance, from the US > UK, or UK > USA
So please share anything.

I do get so worried when I really think about it, because I'm not really sure how realistic it is for us to be together. What do we need to do?

I'm looking for anything to put my mind at ease a bit.

[Tooki]

Sadly you two cannot get a working holiday visa in either country so your only option is a common-law visa in the UK or marriage.

[kteire]

Might not suit your needs, but my SO and I couldn't easily get visas to each other's countries (we've both alread used the working holiday visas) so what we did was both move to a different country together! It sounds a bit crazy, but since we could both get visas easily for the UK (me being from Canada and him from Ireland) we moved here and will be living together long enough that we could claim common-law status for visas in either of our home countries (or the UK too actually!). Maybe there are countries where you could do the same? Like Ireland, I know Americans can get a year visa to there... Or work related visas, student visas, something to allow you to live together long enough to be considered common-law? (which I believe is 2 years in the UK).
I'm afraid I am only somewhat familiar with visas to the UK or US.

Or apart from that, there's always marriage or fiance visas I guess

[ChibiFelicia]

I am in the process of applying for a marriage visa to move to the USA (from the UK) so i can be with the hubby. He dont wanna move to the UK lol. I know it'll take a while but there is light at the end of the tunnel!

[KlaireDelilah]

I can't offer any experience, but I can tell you my SO and I are in the same boat.
It looks like the only way of ever closing the distance will be to get married! Quite a daunting thought, when we're only 21, but we want to be together.
It looks as though for a while it's just going to be extra long visits and then time apart until we both feel emotionally ready for that commitment

School is something I looked at, and thought was a rather good idea, until I remembered I am just a 21 year old girl working in a bar who lives in a flat in London with her Mum. Even if I wanted to pay $25,000 a year... there's just no way I could haha.

But, we have step 1 down, I guess. We know that I'll be the one moving, as we feel like the US would offer us more opportunistic benefits. It also has a lot to do with family and support (not that my Mum doesn't support us! she is just not in a financial position to help us start our live off together.)

[Moon]

Yep, it's possible, not always easy, but definitely possible. Are you a student? Have you tried looking into industries that the US is having trouble filling jobs in, such as engineering, math, sciences, etc.? If there's a real need for your expertise, a company will sponsor you. You can also look for job opportunities in the UK office for a US company, or a UK company with US offices, and work towards a transfer. It'll take some investigation, time and luck, but it's better than relying only on a marriage visa

[kteire]

Yep, it's possible, not always easy, but definitely possible. Are you a student? Have you tried looking into industries that the US is having trouble filling jobs in, such as engineering, math, sciences, etc.? If there's a real need for your expertise, a company will sponsor you. You can also look for job opportunities in the UK office for a US company, or a UK company with US offices, and work towards a transfer. It'll take some investigation, time and luck, but it's better than relying only on a marriage visa

That's a good point This is something that might help my SO and I as he's at Ernst & Young and if he wants to transfer to a different country, they sort out his visa for him, including a green card if he wants to permanently move to the USA. He is in quite a specialised field, but at least that's something!!

[80anthea]

We're UK and USA too and the same thing worries me so I shall follow this thread with interest.

[Jasmine30]

Hi Jango,

Although this topic doesn't currently concern me, I was previously married to an American and we lived there and then moved to the UK together.
Unfortunately, neither country recognise relationships that arent based on marriage currently. (unlike Australia, and some others who recognise de-facto relationships)
There must be a preference between you of which one of you will make the move?? I made the move to USA originally, not sure why, but we never even considered him moving here. After 9 months, I felt very isolated and lonely. People in certain US states, which don't experience a lot of tourism seem to find it impossible to understand a British accent. So i found it very hard to have conversations and make friends. We moved back to the UK and my ex found it a lot easier than I did, I think London is a bit more cosmopolitan than rural Wisconsin where he was from. Not saying everyone will have the same experience of the US. (although they cant understand you, they think you're super cool and awesome, and that your teeth arent half as bad as they thought they would be... lol)
Once you have decided which one of you will be making the move I can certainly help with visas and all that kinda stuff, good luck!

[princessmeg1328]

Once you have decided which one of you will be making the move I can certainly help with visas and all that kinda stuff, good luck!

Jasmine30 I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but the UK visa rules changed last year. They're a lot more difficult to obtain now than before.

Jango, my husband and I should be closing the distance in just the next 3-4 weeks. If you do decide for your SO to move to the UK, please let me know. I'm currently going through the spouse visa process myself. I'm just waiting on a decision from them. There are other visas that your SO could apply for in order to move to the UK. Only a few of them lead to settlement though. Obviously, the settlement visas (unmarried partner, fiance, spouse) do. I also want to say that work visas can lead to settlement. However, student visas do NOT. If your SO were to get a student visa, she would only be able to stay past her allotted time is to apply for a work visa or a settlement visa. If you choose to not get married, the two of you will have to have lived together for at least 2 years in order to qualify for the unmarried partners visa. If your SO were to arrive on a student visa, she would not have to leave the UK in order to apply for one of the other visas which is a good thing.

I know the rules have gotten a lot harder so if you have any questions, please feel free to ask. I'd be more than happy to help.

[Jasmine30]

Jasmine30 I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but the UK visa rules changed last year. They're a lot more difficult to obtain now than before.

Yes I'm aware of the changes, they increased the income requirements, which upset a lot of people. And increased the length of time before they can apply for ILR.

[pink elephant]

Hi there Jasmine - the previous posters have all given some excellent advice.

My experience in a nutshell: we dated for five years before marriage, I lived in a diff country outside US for three then went back to US, SO is from Scotland, we got married in USA, planned to live in USA, I ended up moving to Scotland on spouse visa before the immigration rules changed.

Realistically, you will want think about what you both will want wherever you will be living and which country's process you will want to go through. In our case, we ended up getting married in the US then moved me to the UK because it was "easier" for the both of us. Besides the most important goal of being together, there are other things you may want to consider in closing the distance:

- Are you willing to go through closing the distance through the US or UK?
- Which country has better job prospects?
- Would either of you be willing to move to a more rural/metropolitan area in your SO's home country?
- Which place has more stuff to do?
- Accessibility and ease of transportation? (Would you be OK without having a car? Or would you be OK with learning to drive in your SO's country?)
- Especially if one were to move to the UK, could you handle the weather changes and climate?

Originally we both wanted to stay and live in the US, but there ended up being too many complications for us to remain there. Closing the distance required craploads of patience and strength (of course) but most of all and unfortunately - money. We probably spent over $4000 (not including costs for flights to see each other and costs for his move to US and my move to UK) to make all this happen.. but of course, in the end, it was all worth it!

I live in a very rural area of Scotland, so closing the distance for me meant learning how to drive on the left side of the road and buying a car really fast. Job prospects are hard to come by around here too, but at least I'm within 30 miles of the major city of Glasgow and can find stuff to do. The hardest time I'm having is with not getting as much sunlight - but that's a given when you come over here - and going from metro areas to very rural. (It's been a few months since I closed the distance, so I'm sure my thoughts will change later on.)

Whatever you choose to do, I hope you give it much thought and that things work out for you both. Good luck!

[CountryGirl]

I'll be dealing with all this in December when I have to fill out a spouse visa. My SO and I got married in the states so that we could live together in Scotland. It does suck that they raised the income rate because that's about the only thing that's going to prove a problem. I'm not worried about how I'll adjust to the weather in Scotland, although I do not like rain :P I guess it's worth it to be with him. I'm so stressed out about the application and all the waiting. I wish they weren't so strict! I'm not sure if it really is easier to go to the UK than for him to move to the USA. :/ If all goes well though I'll be moving to Glasgow next year.

[Melinahasan26]

I'm also currently in the same dilemma. Though I'm in school right now, my SO and I plan on meeting hopefully next year but the problem is for my SO to get a visa here in the US. I'm here in Chicago an him in London. Yes of course it's very daunting to think of the idea of ever meeting and closing that huge distance but it will be difficult and a long process. I too will continue following this thread for support and ideas. c: