:(

[Saleanah]

My SO plays so many video games and it's so annoying... :[


How do I control my anger with it?

[Zapookie]

You just have to learn not to be angry over it. It's something he does possibly to let off steam, or maybe it's become a hobby. Have you thought about maybe finding a game you can both play together?

My SO plays video games a lot but I knew that before I got into a relationship with him - it's just something I have to accept. Of course I'll get pissed if he's been playing video games all day and I get home and he hasn't taken out the trash when I told him, but that's his fault and he knows he'll get a verbal slapping if he doesn't. Now, he's a lot better at doing shit that needs to be done FIRST, then playing a video game after he's finished.

[louisekerry]

Unless its WoW, and if it is I completely understand your fury, then I think its just something you're gonna have to get used to. Could you play them together? Or do something you like doing while he's playing?

[kayla_622]

My ex was like this. He would come home from work and immediately jump on his video games and play till he was ready for bed and would barely say a word to me. It caused a lot of arguments. I tried to let him know that I would like a little bit of his time some days but, he never put forth the effort.

Try talking to your SO and let just tell him know that you would like a little bit of his time. I mean he doesn't have to stop playing games completely but he should definitely make a point to spend time with you. If he doesn't put forth the effort though this will certainly cause problems. Trust me. Been there, done that. Hopefully, he tries though.

[dglynn77]

Sometimes you have to choose your battles. Video games can be annoying, but I feel it is a way better hobby than some. At least you always know where they are and what they are doing, rather than them never being home and you worrying about infidelity.
It could always be worse.

[XxFranticLovexX]

My way around it has always been to play games with them. Xbox or Ps3 you could always play something on your own and chat with each other. Online games you could try playing together. If you knew about this when you got with him and it isn't something new then you should really just accept it because you knew what you were getting yourself into. It wouldn't hurt him to give you some time occasionally though so let him know that you want x amount of time with him on a certain day if he's free (other than the games) or tell him that you're feeling neglected and want to spend some time together one day soon or something. That's what I do. My SO is a gamer as well. I game casually but it's really nothing compared to the amount that he does. I knew that when I got with him and it has actually given us a way to do something together on quite a few occasions. Just work out a compromise with him where you can both be happy with it. ^_^

[kteire]

You're never going to enjoy all of your SO's hobbies, and getting angry doesn't solve things really. I'm a massive gamer and my SO isn't, but the way we work around it is through communication and compromise. We live together now so it's a bit different than when we were LD, but what we tend to do is try and do hobbies that the other one isn't so fond of at the same time. I absolutely hate rugby and football, so I'll play games while he watches TV, or he'll watch highlights on his laptop while I play xbox. When we were LD we decided that neither of us would have big distractions while talking to one another, and it worked out well. There are still times that one of us has to say 'Ok, enough' but we're more likely to listen to each other if we communicate well without getting upset.

And I always say, don't knock it til you've tried it!! We play games together now, and while I still hate football and rugby, I've started to like Formula One. He doesn't love playing hours upon hours of RPGs, but we play Halo and the occasional Fifa match

[dianacakes]

This problem is something I'm so familiar with. My boyfriend and I are gamers! Sometimes you just have to meet halfway. Make deals like "you can play ____ for _____ hours in return for doing something you want to do". Or like others stated, you can always try and play a game together or learn to play the game he's playing. There are lots of sites for games together "omgpop.com" or "tetrisfriends.com" or even console games are fun to play together still! There's tons of games you can play together these days. In the end, like another above poster pointed: choose your battles. You can either join him or meet halfway. If it persists to being unhealthy in your relationship, sit him down and talk to him about it. If he can't balance gaming and make you happy, you just have to find another guy! But hope that won't be the case! Good luck!

[Tooki]

My GF and I had a similar issue.

I've stepped back a notch in regards to playing games. I also compromise with my GF by either playing when she is out of the house or we agree to a time limit in which I can play and she can do her own things like watch a TV show.

[Karura]

You can choose to control your anger.

There are ways to make the situation better. Being a gamer myself, I can relate to your boyfriend, but I'm mindful of having time for the people around me, so while I can play video games for hours straight there are times I don't play at all. You can try joining him in games or asking him about it (some RP games have interesting stories) or, if he's playing on a different screen and you can see the game, even accompanying him and seeing his reactions if he's one of those that react to every little thing.

Just keep reminding yourself that a relationship works best when both parties are honest when there's a problem. So if you're lift not satisfied with the situation you have to talk to him. Telling him not to play video games won't help but you two could maybe discuss ways for him to balance the time he plays video games and spends time with you. Since I remember you saying you skype'd with him for almost the whole day on another thread, I don't think talking things with him about it will be difficult.

[Zephii]

You can choose to control your anger.

Just keep reminding yourself that a relationship works best when both parties are honest when there's a problem.

This ^

Take the time to talk it out.

Both my SO and I are gamers, but given the opportunity he will play an awful lot more than me - like from waking until sleeping for days in a row. It's what we do instead of watching the telly. But, sometimes you need to be the voice of reason and say "hey, this shit's not healthy. We have not been outside at all today, let's take a walk around the block and reconnect" or something.
I've also found that it helps to have a "rule" that dinner is together, not in front of a screen (Unless it's pizza and games night!) to help you reconnect.

If you're feeling a bit like a WoW widow you need to say something about it. But you also have a responsibility. I think it's a bit much when people expect their partners to talk to them for hours and do nothing else (I'm not saying you do this, but I see it a lot, so I'm covering this base)- if you want time together, some of it should be on his terms, and when you're LD that might just mean playing games with him.

You can request time with him by saying "I'm going to go do <something> for <however long it takes, say 20 mins> and then when I get back I'd really appreciate it if you'd spend some time with me"

Good luck!

[Melinahasan26]

I agree with everyone here, yes there always going to be something you're not going to enjoy, but no person and definitely no relationship is perfect. There is always pros and cons. And just like everybody has said, it could be worse. :/ But in any relationship, there always has to be compromise. Just control your anger and find a way for you to share his hobby together so you don't feel so left out. I think that would be better for both of you. Just continue to be understanding and patient. Things will work out. ^-^

[Koma]

I think there's a lot of context missing here... I mean even just the type of games he plays are important. If he's just playing single player RPGs all day, maybe you could skype call during, so you can still spend time with eachother while he's playing games? Or perhaps you could find some games to play with him (I think pretty much every guy who games would really appreciate this :P). And most of all, talk to him about it! Understand that it's not something he's doing to hurt you, and he probably just doesn't have any clue how you feel about it.

[kteire]

Both my SO and I are gamers, but given the opportunity he will play an awful lot more than me - like from waking until sleeping for days in a row. It's what we do instead of watching the telly. But, sometimes you need to be the voice of reason and say "hey, this shit's not healthy. We have not been outside at all today, let's take a walk around the block and reconnect" or something.
I've also found that it helps to have a "rule" that dinner is together, not in front of a screen (Unless it's pizza and games night!) to help you reconnect.

My SO and I are the opposite, haha. I can play for days and even forget to have meals if I'm not careful! I definitely agree that it's good to have a voice of reason, and really appreciate it when my SO asks me to go for a walk with him, or pop to our local for pints and scrabble

I think there's a lot of context missing here... I mean even just the type of games he plays are important. If he's just playing single player RPGs all day, maybe you could skype call during, so you can still spend time with eachother while he's playing games? Or perhaps you could find some games to play with him (I think pretty much every guy who games would really appreciate this :P). And most of all, talk to him about it! Understand that it's not something he's doing to hurt you, and he probably just doesn't have any clue how you feel about it.

I agree with finding games to play with him, but have to say I disagree about skyping while he's playing games That might make things worse, cause speaking as a gamer myself, my ability to converse while playing games is embarrasingly nonexistant. I'm at my absolute worst for conversation when I'm playing RPGs!! My SO is the same. We made a rule when we were LD not to play games while talking, because either of us would feel like the other wasn't paying attention.

[Tooki]

I think there's a lot of context missing here... I mean even just the type of games he plays are important. If he's just playing single player RPGs all day, maybe you could skype call during, so you can still spend time with eachother while he's playing games? Or perhaps you could find some games to play with him (I think pretty much every guy who games would really appreciate this :P). And most of all, talk to him about it! Understand that it's not something he's doing to hurt you, and he probably just doesn't have any clue how you feel about it.

Just to add onto what kteire said, I wouldn't be happy with my GF playing games while we were on skype if I hated the fact that she played games in general.