Having a hard time :(

[starksito]

Hello everyone, this is my first post here, although I have been following this site over a year ago :P This time I cant describe how I feel because its so painful I visited my SO last year since december and I came back last week and Im so scared about the situation I have the plan to live in her country this year (november) and by that closing the distance. We have been in this for over 2 years but I dont know why I feel like she wont wait for me... of course its only in my mind, but when I was with her we talked about the situation and she said something that she doesnt wanna suffer anymore because she falls badly =( of course I also have bad moments (trust me, real BAD moments) but Im sure that I can do it, because she is the best girl and girlfriend in the world... but my fear is that she couldnt wait for me these 9 or 10 months. Besides I dont know if I can visit her in august, so we are gonna be like 1 year without seeing each other. I dont know what to do for real, I dont wanna lose her at all, and I wanna be her strenght but I have a bad feeling about that although our relation ship doesnt have any problem (well just the basic things to deal) Besides I feel so selfish and Im feeling jelous from everything (she said she was gonna go out with a friend that went to the same highschool as her and I felt so jealous and that guy wants something with her) Pls I need some advice to overcome these months, we are almost in the final and Im so scared

P.S: I apologize for my english, but Im not a native english speaker.

[ShazzamSam]

First off, I am having the same problem (except I have yet to close the distance) but I have those moments of doubt and jealously. You need to talk to her, make sure she is willing to wait for you to move and what not. You need to stop being jealous but listen to your gut feeling (this might be hard because I have terrible thoughts of what might happen anyway) but if she is assuring you that she can wait and that the 'spark' is still there, then you need to stop worrying, feeling jealous and selfish because that will cause a lot of unwanted drama and maybe even a huge fight that can end your relationship. I was always assuming the worst with my boyfriend and we fought all the time because I was jealous of the girl he hung out with and I didn't think he wanted this or me or would sleep with someone else. A LDR is hard! It really really is but if you communicate. Yes, communication is a MAJOR thing in this situation, then things should be okay. Keep busy, keep the love alive and tell her you can't wait til the day you see her again. Appreciate her, make her feel wanted and safe, and STOP being jealous, angry and everything negative.

I hope things work out for you.

[starksito]

The problem here is that she isnt sure about waiting for me, because she just "doesnt know" if she can bear the burden of waiting all these months... and besides something new is happening and I think that we are not sharing the same amount of time that we used to spend, I know that she is in college but now I have the feel that she doesnt give the same importance that I do... do you get me? Its awful when I think about it :/ because although we have to wait like 9 months, seems like she is not that interested about that... I found a job (I need it in order to move)and looks like she wasnt that happy, it was like "ohh ok" do u get it? so its kinda painful because if she doesnt support me who is going to do it? The only thing that I think is the fact that she is sad because I came back 2 weeks ago, so she is still sensible... but in general I dont know what to do =(

[kikidee]

If you are willing to move to her, you need to make sure she's all in. You don't want to have prepared to leave and then her say she found someone else. You should tell her when you get to that stage, she needs to either be with you or end it. Tell her you want to be with her and can make it happen but only if she still wants to commit to you till...well forever. Your story is somewhat similar to mine except I'm the girl in this case. Me and my SO are going to decide if we are legitimately going to date when he comes here. I feel like ill have better advice for you when that happens. /: