Long time between visits

[kacie]

For those of you only able to see your partner once or twice a year, or less, how do you deal with know you wont see then for months on end? For us there's a 10 month gap and we have 4 and a half months to go before I can see him again, and I'm finding it really hard right now.

[XxFranticLovexX]

Honestly, I try to not think about it. I try to do things to keep my mind off it and just go about my day to day life while talking to him like I always have. It does get hard sometimes and those times completely suck, but I do okay most days. Picking up a new hobby, taking a few classes, going out with friends, finding a job/second job, could all help. I find I miss him more if I don't talk to him for a little while though so it makes it easier for me when I get to spend time with him online/on the phone and I just try to keep myself occupied any other time. I even find that making things or planning out gifts for him helps a bit as well, at least for a little while. The rest of the time, when it does get tough, I either spam tumblr with a bunch of reblogged ldr lovey stuff or come whine to some of the threads in the forums here.. or bug my SO to death by being all clingy and trying to talk to him constantly.. which isn't the best thing but he seems to tolerate it okay lol.

[MattDavies86]

With a massive distance like i have it would be logical we could only meet 2 or 3 times a year, for one flights are expensive-ish, for two i need time off work, I only have 22 annual leave days a year with the addition of bank holidays of course, but still only 4 weeks, which makes 4 short visits or 2 x 2weeks. I met and spent a month with her in November of last year which was great, met her on my 4th day in Thailand and were together since.

I hate not seeing her, as do you guys so I'm working a way around it, going back in May (5months after we met) and never intend to have this gap again, only 2-3 months from now on, 2 weeks in May, then back in july/aug and she will come here with me for 6 months, then april, then june/july and here 6 months again and maybe tie the knot, but I admit, everyday still does feel like an eternity

[kacie]

I think it's a case of we have less time together right now, both of us being busy and the time difference means we've barley got time to talk. 10 months for us is too long of a gap, I'm glad we don't have to go this length of time again

[leonsfangirl]

Longest we've gone is 8 months. We met in person for the first time in Sept '11 then i didnt see him again till the following May and that was tough.
Personally, its the not knowing when i get to see him that hurts the most, once we have a date i cope alot better no matter how far in the future it is. At the times where i dont know, i focus on that i WILL see him it's just a matter of when. We talk about what we can do the next time we see each other, what we did the last time we saw each other. Dont focus on the time apart, appreciate the time you get together.

[Tooki]

My GF and I had a 9 month time between visits before I flew over to see her in November.

I just set mini goals, so the time was broken up into 2-3 month increments. Ultimately I just took things one day at a time. It's hard but time flies when you're busy.

[Carenza LaRue]

oooo the time in between visits...

yeah, I can relate to that...

we will be seeing each other next Christmas!


in the mean time we keep ourselves busy with daily routine, long talks and posting silly pictures and songs on each others FB wall...

[Biddlybiddlybombop]

I have *indefinite amount* of time apart between visits this time. I left him last August, I don't know exactly when he'll be here, but I can't afford to go back to him any time in the near future and he's saving up for Uni.

It's important to remind yourself that you WANT to be together, and that dealing with the distance is a condition of that, unfortunately. No one does this if they're not serious about it, including our SOs, and although it can be frustrating and lonely, holding onto the fact that you love each other and want to be together enough that you're willing to wait is important if you want to survive it.

[kittyo9]

I have *indefinite amount* of time apart between visits this time. I left him last August, I don't know exactly when he'll be here, but I can't afford to go back to him any time in the near future and he's saving up for Uni.

It's important to remind yourself that you WANT to be together, and that dealing with the distance is a condition of that, unfortunately. No one does this if they're not serious about it, including our SOs, and although it can be frustrating and lonely, holding onto the fact that you love each other and want to be together enough that you're willing to wait is important if you want to survive it.

Same as this. I don't know when we'll see one another-- it's a minimum of 10 months from when I last saw him. I just try not to think about it, as it gets me down a lot, and remind myself that I can always choose not to be in this relationship, but that's not what I want.

[Sora1101]

I try not to think about it. And when I do end up thinking about it I try to remind myself that he is worth it, that I love him so much waiting isn't as bad as never having him in my life. I try to remind myself that if we can get through this we can get through anything.

[louisekerry]

I think definitely having some kind of date helps a lot, he went home in September last year so its been around 5 months now since we've seen each other. Luckily we've not actually had to spend longer than 4-6 months apart while we've been together. I think reminding yourself why you want to be in the relationship is important, also it helps us to talk about what we might do on the next visit, or what we did before. It is hard sometimes, generally I'm alright most of the time, cause I try and give myself a little list of productive things to do most days, even if its just laundry or tidying the house or cleaning the kitchen, just try to take it a day at a time, it'll go quicker than you expect.

[TwoThree]

I try to set up a date for the next visit as soon as possible (like within two weeks of getting back from the last trip) and then I literally obsess over it. It's the only way I can dea. By thinking about the next visit, what we would do, what I need to get done before I leave, making lists, etc.

Doesn't mean that it's all I have going on in my life in between visits, though. There's family and friends and work. But if I didn't have that goal I don't think I could deal with the distance and the long separation very well.

[hevpie]

No way round it, it sucks lol
If you sit and think about it to long it can be so depressiong. All you can do is put one foot infront of the other and try and get on with your life as much as possible and try not to dwell.