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I'm glad we started out long distance...

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    I'm glad we started out long distance...

    Because if we hadn't I don't think things would work. I've had a lot of bad experiences and my ex (whom I was married to and all in all together with for 10 years) managed to bring me down and hurt me so badly (psychologically), add to that a crap childhood etc. That it eaily affects me still and I might take something the wrong way even if the other person doesnt mean anything at all.

    This is giving me time to heal, get to trust him and really trust and know that he isnt going to hurt me. Also going through the after math of the divorce and that its good that he hasnt seen me on a daily or weekly basis say at the end of last year. Because I think if we were in a close distance relationship I could not have hidden my bad days and times from him. I am starting to open up but also we are closer now and not in the beginning of getting to know each other anymore. So I am not hiding "bad days" from him anymore, but I think if he would have seen me some days last year it might have scared him away. And also you don't want to bring all your dirty laundry to your SO. As he is not my shrink.

    So in this case I don't think it's all just chance that I ended up in a LDR Ofcourse it is really hard missing the other person and not been able to touch. But on the other hand the communication is great. I smile everytime my phone beeps and I receive a message or I get email or when he signs onto messenger. So I believe in my case LD is not an all bad thing.

    The reason of writing this post is because what just happened now on our morning chat. At almost the end of our conversation I was explaining to him in detail a bit about my stupid dream from last night. And he wrote "your babbling on babe" and a little after that "and not making any sence". And because of how my ex used to speak to me and put me down (on a daily basis) that really hurt me and I ended up in tears. I didn't say anything (just didn't write as many smileys as normally and was quite short, don't think he even noticed). Because for one thing I don't want him have to start thinking too much of what he can or cannot say to me. And I don't want to make a fuss about nothing, coz I know he didn't mean anything (negative or hurtful) by what he said and the problem is at my end. First I got hurt at him but luckily quickly realized where the problem lies. And luckily this has happened only once or twice

    Am I babbling on?

    #2
    I realise I mabe should have made this into a blog post...sorry guys :P

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