Some words of encouragement please?

[DiorAllure]

I think the distance is getting to me a bit...

Sometimes I get stuck on the feeling like something is wrong between us. I asked him multiple times, and he said, no nothing was wrong, and that I didn't have anything to worry about, but I still can't shake the feeling of something being off. I wish I knew what he was thinking, but he says he's not thinking about anything to do with us, and when I asked him, he said he would talk to me if something was wrong.

I have a whole truck-load of baggage that I come with, including issues with anxiety and over-worrying and things like that, so sometimes I attribute these feelings to that. But I decided to post something on here, because I started thinking about how if he were here, and I could hug him, I'd feel so much better, because sometimes things are better communicated that way. And then I just get stuck on "well, okay just hold out however long until the next time he's here again, and it will be okay." And sometimes that feels unsustainable. I know I have to learn to deal with the distance, to co-exist with it, instead of just waiting for it to be over, and counting down the days. Even if it was just counting down 5 days or something, I still need to learn to deal with the distance better. Do you know what I mean?

[Blue_Sky24]

I know exactly what you mean! When I'm not talking to my SO (or anyone for that matter) in person and I think something could be wrong I tend to imagine the worst! Part of the long distance thing is you just have to trust that he's telling you the truth and nothing is really wrong. You just have to remember he wouldn't be talking to you if he didn't want to.

[Caity]

Maybe you could find something to do to take your mind off worrying so much? I find distracting myself is a great way to keep my mind away from negative thoughts, and passes the time quickly. Me and my guy play the same video game which is one thing, and I'm also learning Russian for him. I find I can get through hours without realising working through my textbook, and it's something beneficial for our relationship too. It really helps me in staying positive, cause I can tell him my achievements, it's something to talk about, and I don't have time to think about the downsides of being miles apart

[Britpole]

Long distance is hard, but is it not worth it when you are back together? It is for me. :-)

[Kiyama]

Sometimes it takes some time to get used to the distance. It is hard and there are moments when you will feel as if you can't take it anymore. But they will pass and in the end, it'll be worth it!
You need to work on yourself to overcome your negative thought cycles and worrying. The thing is... The happier you are in life, the happier your relationship will be and the faster time will go by.
Time will go by, no matter how you feel. It's up to you however to decide how you spend the time you're apart. You can choose to be miserable and to dwell on everything but it won't change anything. So why not be happy and have some trust and faith?
It isn't an easy route to take and it isn't easy to stay on it. I had the same issues. The negative thinking and anxiety is like a highway. Easy to take. The happy route is a small one, only a dirt road. It's easier to take the highway and it's hard work to walk on the dirt road but don't give up and you'll be rewarded

[jacquelineh]

Hi DiorAllure,

I also left my heart in Scotland. "I know I have to learn to deal with the distance, to co-exist with it". That's the first step in everything, you have acknowledged it. I see that you guys have discussed another time to meet because well you are counting down the days. Just as Kiyama said, the dirt path will be worth it. As long as communication is strong this is a blessing in disguise. This long distance will give you mental challenges you might never have thought to come across but they are there for you to become stronger through.

He calls me his "panic princess" because like you, I over worry and I know I do. But all it takes is a message or a picture or a skype from him and it makes it beter. In short, I know EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEAN, you feel like you are the only one experiencing it. Don't worry, me too.

[.:*Shaunna*:.]

I'm so glad I'm not the only one going through this when we first got together I used to over think and worry all the time. Over time I learnt to just let it go and it's made me feel much more relaxed. I still worry every now and then but I just learn to distract myself - my latest distraction project at the moment is making a scrap book on interior design ideas for a house as we are looking at buying towards the end of this year