What to do, what to do

[werdna]

My girlfriend and I are over eight months now, but in the last couple months, things have just been rough. After being away from each other for five months, I was finally able to visit her, and it was truly the week of my life. She warned me that her school would be much more difficult in the upcoming semester and things would change, but I kind of ignored that because she had already dealt with difficult classes without any issues. Well, she was right. Ever since her classes have started, the conversations have gotten shorter and shorter with less and less meat to them. We used to talk for multiple hours every day face to face, now that might happen twice a week if we are lucky. On the other hand, while she struggles with school, I am just coasting as my classes are far easier, which doesn't help the situation because I have all this free time to want to talk and over think things. I know she is very stressed and I do my best to be there for her, but there really is not much I can do. I just went on a trip to visit her over my spring break, but she had to study for a test for most of the week, but after it was over, the stress didn't go away like I anticipated. The last time I visited her over my Christmas break, it was, like I said, amazing every single day and then when we had to leave, it was incredibly sad, but this time, she seemed almost ready for me to leave, which was hurtful. Unfortunately, I have a bad habit of thinking the worst about everything, but still. Because we aren't talking as much, I find myself going over those same boring questions, and I'm not saying that never happened before, but like they aren't going anywhere like they used to. Along with talking, the texting is barely there. Instead of talking all day and night, I have to start the conversations. If I didn't text her every single day, I'm not sure if she would say anything. Because we aren't talking like we used to, I have really started to read too much into Twitter and Facebook and we actually had a small fight about it because I see posts that I interpret as her being upset, and when I try to address it, she says she is fine and gets angry that I am being nosey. I want to have a serious conversation about all of this, but with how much stress she is dealing with with school, I fear that like other times this semester, an attempt to have a serious conversation will lead to her being more annoyed with me. I try my best to let her study without getting in the way, but I don't want her to get used to not having me in her life. We will see each other for over two months this upcoming summer, but I really do not want our relationship to last this way until then. I just want things to be as amazing as they were last year, but I am running out of ideas of what to do. I continue to try all these things that I have done since the beginning, but they just don't go over like they used to. What can I do?

[chizatlauren]

I want to say this as nicely as I can, but I think there's no other way to say this.

Get a life. Get a life outside your relationship. How about get a part-time job so you can save more money for your next visit to her, do new hobbies, play video games or anything? My SO is a really busy man, and I am not as busy as him, so I felt miserable at first too. But then you have to step out and think of your own life aside from stalking her on Facebook and Twitter. Having no other life aside from your relationship with her can really make you depressed cause you won't be preoccupied with other things and it can annoy your SO.

You are actually lucky that you can talk with her a few times every week. Some of the people in this site can only talk with their SOs once a week, or sometimes once every two weeks. It's just a matter of trust on your part that things will work even if you can't talk a lot anymore. Ask her to set aside a time every week to talk (like 10 mins every night before she sleeps or every weekends) so that you'll have something to look forward to. As long as your SO is still assuring you that she loves you despite her busy schedule, be contented with your situation. It's hard to be contented, but you have to. You have to accept it.

Goodluck on your upcoming summer visit! Hope you two have a great time. I'm actually envious, I won't see my SO until six months from now!

[Zantanada]

I'm gunna sort of agree with Lauren here. My SO was in school during the fall semester and it was her final semester so it was a pretty stressful time. I was just working barely part time so I had a lot of free time where she didn't. And most of the time I'd just sit around, play video games and send her a facebook chat every once in a bit (an hour or two). Just to check in on how the studying/projects or whatever is going. If your life style is significantly less stressful then hers, then use your free time to give her support. Don't nag, because that'll just fuel a conflict. Just sit around with her and chill while she does work..."co-exist" if you'd like to call it that.