So I'm curious...

[IWillWaitForYou]

I'm curious about whether or not many people on here ever had to wait more than a year to see their SO. I have to wait 1 year and 3 months until I get to see my SO. Just curious and if you did, could you give me some tips on how to keep it running?

He lives in England and works American hours but we still have a hard time getting to talk because he is constantly on the go with work and boxing.
He'll be in America around December thankfully but until then, what should I do?
My only hobbies are things like reading, schoolwork, exercising and house care. I will be starting a job soon to save up for when I go see him. It's just hard to concentrate because I'm always wondering when his next call will be. I don't mind being the flexible one when it comes to times to talk.

I need some tips. Help please?

[kacie]

Ours would have been 10 months between visits so not quite a year, but I found writing to him helped, I bought a pack of postcards, so it wouldn't cost too much to send and I write to him often. I also did an evening course, which got me out and talking to new people and it was something I could talk to him about.

Would scheduling a time to talk help you, so you would know at you would talk at this time, and not be left waiting so much?

[IWillWaitForYou]

That's a good idea. I'll have to try that.

And we've tried scheduling a time but it's really hard because of his boxing. He goes to work, then goes boxing and then comes home exhausted. I tell him that just 5 minutes talking to him would be enough for me but it hurts him too much that he can't carry on a conversation without being so tired. The poor thing works so hard.

I don't have second thoughts about us because of our lack of communication, but he thinks I do.
We try to work through it, it's just wearing on us a bit.

[IWillWaitForYou]

Also, congratulations on your wedding!!!

[kittyo9]

I'm not sure if you mean meeting for the first time or just seeing your SO again after a long period of time, but I've got you covered. :P It took us 2 years to meet after we started our relationship and it will likely be at least a year from our first meeting until we can see each other again, possibly 2 years (it's already been 7 months and we have no arrangements to see each other again yet). I almost want to call it "LDR limbo."

Anyway, I think it's great that you have a set date, as that can be an extremely powerful reminder as to why you're in this relationship and how much your SO cares for you. Remind yourself of it as much as you can. You might like to start a countdown container-- I have two old transparent containers that I've filled with multicolored buttons (you might try beads or something-- anything that is tangible, easy to obtain a lot of, and takes up a visible amount of space). Every morning (or night, or whenever you decide), you move one bead from the "days to go" container to the "days passed" container. As the date gets nearer, you will see the days passed container filling up and the days to go container coming to an end. Mine isn't working towards an end point-- it's just "days passed" and "more buttons" (xD) but the volume of the beads in the days passed container is sometimes really helpful to remind myself how far we've come. It's also a constructive project you can do in the mean time. Similarly, sometimes if I find myself feeling overwhelmed by the enormity of the path I have set before myself (and I have time), I turn it into artwork or writing. Thus it is quite literally a "work of love."

Usually my SO and I give each other our schedules so that we know when we'll be around, and we always ask each other what we have going on the next day so that we can plan when to work and when to play. I understand that's likely more difficult for you because of the time difference (we're in the same time zone but off by an hour half the year). Still, I would think an exhausted "good night" is better than nothing. :P

Other than that, it's really the same tips you'd give anyone in an LDR... patience, trust, honesty, communication.

[kiara_silver]

It took us two years to meet in person for the first time, and then after that visit it took another 9 months for the next visit. We also have a UK-US relationship. Couple years later and were now happily engaged with plans to close the distance. It gets hard at times of course, but just living your day to day life, but finding ways to involve your SO. I recently got texting that helps even if its only one or two texts while im out. When your busy just a message is nice in the morning or a goodnight message. Stay strong!

[Brieasaurus]

It took us a year to meet in person and then it's taken us another year and a half to see each other from our last visit. We only get one visit a year though. It helps a lot to have that visit planned though so you have something to look forward to. The others gave good advice, the only thing I really have to say about is that it's really rough but you have to keep soldiering on.

[IWillWaitForYou]

IYou might like to start a countdown container-- I have two old transparent containers that I've filled with multicolored buttons (you might try beads or something-- anything that is tangible, easy to obtain a lot of, and takes up a visible amount of space). Every morning (or night, or whenever you decide), you move one bead from the "days to go" container to the "days passed" container. As the date gets nearer, you will see the days passed container filling up and the days to go container coming to an end. Mine isn't working towards an end point-- it's just "days passed" and "more buttons" (xD) but the volume of the beads in the days passed container is sometimes really helpful to remind myself how far we've come. It's also a constructive project you can do in the mean time. Similarly, sometimes if I find myself feeling overwhelmed by the enormity of the path I have set before myself (and I have time), I turn it into artwork or writing. Thus it is quite literally a "work of love."

Usually my SO and I give each other our schedules so that we know when we'll be around, and we always ask each other what we have going on the next day so that we can plan when to work and when to play. I understand that's likely more difficult for you because of the time difference (we're in the same time zone but off by an hour half the year). Still, I would think an exhausted "good night" is better than nothing. :P

Other than that, it's really the same tips you'd give anyone in an LDR... patience, trust, honesty, communication.

That is an AMAZING idea! I never thought about the countdown container before. I will definitely do that! Everything you have said here has really helped me out. The fact that you and your SO took so long to meet each other really helps me to know that I'm not reaching for something out of my reach. Great advice!

[IWillWaitForYou]

Everyone here has given me the best advice! You've really given me hope that I'm not way out of my league on this one. I can't wait to see my man.

[squeeker]

Hey, from the time I first met my boyfriend online to when we met in person was about 1 year and 1 month, and then it's been less since then, from 6 months apart the first time, to a year apart the second time, and from our last visit to this next one it'll be around 9 months. I think having a set date and countdown helps so much, because each day you can see the numbers getting smaller. It's too bad that you can't really schedule your talking time too much because he's work and boxing. I know I get similarly anxious and restless when I'm not sure when my SO will be online. I think the best thing is to keep busy as best you can and talk as much as you can, and try not to worry when he isn't online.. just keep your phone or something with you so that when he does come online, he can message you and you'll see it (if you have your facebook attached to your phone it's free, though sometimes unreliable so it's okay to check it every now and then to see if he's online, and/or leave it open while you do something else and keep checking at it when you have a few seconds. And as you are trying to keep busy, the time will keep passing, and before you know it, you'll be back together!! Just keep reminding yourself how much you love him and how much you believe your relationship is worth it! You can do this!!

[Sora1101]

It took us about a year and 2 months to meet for the first time and now it's usually 1 meeting a year.

I think the thing that makes time go by fastest is keeping yourself busy however you can and knowing when you'll be seeing each other again. My SO and I usually have a general idea of when we can meet again about 6-7 months after our last meeting and let me tell you not knowing makes time just drag. You just have nothing to look forward to.

[summerkid]

for us it will be one year the week after we meet. meaning we had to wait one year minus one week. Very hard.. but all worth it. And we're lucky to only wait a year.

[Zephii]

Four years for us *shrug*
I don't think we did anything special, we just lived our lives. The obsession with talking to each other took care of the rest haha
You'll be fine

[dizzyupthemeg]

If we are being really technical it took 7 years for us to meet. We had a couple missed opportunities but our timing was never right. We were just friends for that 7 years and right around the time one of us would want to be more serious it wouldn't work for the other. So we lived our lives and went our own ways. When we both got serious about wanting a relationship to work, we made plans to meet in a 3 month time.

Having a countdown is great but don't focus too much on it. I have a bad habit of obsessing over how many days are left. Just keep busy and the time will fly by.

[SmileyK]

Anyway, I think it's great that you have a set date, as that can be an extremely powerful reminder as to why you're in this relationship and how much your SO cares for you. Remind yourself of it as much as you can. You might like to start a countdown container-- I have two old transparent containers that I've filled with multicolored buttons (you might try beads or something-- anything that is tangible, easy to obtain a lot of, and takes up a visible amount of space). Every morning (or night, or whenever you decide), you move one bead from the "days to go" container to the "days passed" container. As the date gets nearer, you will see the days passed container filling up and the days to go container coming to an end. Mine isn't working towards an end point-- it's just "days passed" and "more buttons" (xD) but the volume of the beads in the days passed container is sometimes really helpful to remind myself how far we've come. It's also a constructive project you can do in the mean time. Similarly, sometimes if I find myself feeling overwhelmed by the enormity of the path I have set before myself (and I have time), I turn it into artwork or writing. Thus it is quite literally a "work of love."

Yoooooou just gave me and my SO a wonderful, nerdy idea THANK YOUUUUUUU!!!!

Anyway, we haven't made any plans to meet yet, but we'll probably take around the year or so mark to meet and same with the visits because it's so expensive. Just a matter of hanging in there.