I have been seing this guy in the Navy who is home on leave. A few months prior to him coming home we had become really good friends and had made plans to hang out. We have become very close and have developed serious feelings for each other. Here is where I am, he is getting ready to be off leave and he is going to be stationed in Japan for 4 years! We both agreed to try a long distance relationship however I feel like he's going to forget about me and the feelings he has will eventually fade. He has told me he loves me and will be faithful, but 4 years is a long time and I dont know if thats just how he's feeling right now. I dont know if I should wait for him or try to move on and save myself from being hurt. Does anyone have any advice? I know traveling abck and forth to Japan is quite expensive and im also in school right now. Is it possible that this can work out?
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Well I think you probably already know that the answer is yes, that it can work out - but the commitment to the relationship has to be 100% from both people if it is to work.
none of us here can tell you whether you should start this LDR or not, most people are on LFAD because they chose to be in an LDR with their SO for whatever reason and all have different circumstances, so nobody has an 'exact' answer on what works and what doesn't.
and yes, 4 years IS a long time, and yes, it costs A LOT to visit, and it's usually difficult to find the time for a visit if you are busy people. Also, hes in the Navy so it probably won't just be the next 4 years and you get to close the distance happily ever after, he will get stationed somewhere else, rinse and repeat, until he decides to retire from the Navy.
Frankly, it's always easier not to enter into an LDR but if you want to be with this person it's your only choice.
Met Online: February 2009
Feelings grew: January 2011
First met in person: 4 April - 16 April 2011
Officially together since: 4th of April 2011
Second visit: 29 June - 1 August 2011
Third visit: 28 September - 15 October 2011
Fourth visit: 19 January - 25 February 2012
Fifth visit: 24 March - 12 April 2012
Sixth visit: 2 June - 7 July 2012
Engaged: 1st of July 2012
Seventh visit: 27 August - 23 September
Visa lodged: 5th of November 2012
Eighth visit: 8 December 2012 - 12 January 2013
Visa granted: 8th of May 2013
Hawaii: 19 May - 2 June 2013
Closed the distance: 16th of July 2013
Married my Englishman on the 4th of October 2013 -
what do you got to lose? you can always give it your best!Comment
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I think you should concentrate on studying. Stay in touch with him and talk online as best friends, but dont try to commit you both to a relationship. Time will give you the answer you are asking (if the feelings will fade). And yet, tell him thats what you are going to do (at least for now till you finish school).
If after such a long time, you both still feel the same for each other, then you will know exactly what to do.Comment
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