Spice up the relationship????

[demonwithin]

Me and my SO are noticing that every now and again we're at a stand still... the last 2 years apart we've talked about everything and when i say everything, i mean EVERYTHING... v.v iunno what to do now i can tell my SO is starting to get bored of me
i just don't know how to bring the "new" kind of fun back, im being to feel like last years play toy. v.v

Im scared v.v so very scared

[JoeyBug]

I know the feeling, for the first year we were back in contact Scott and I spoke every day for an hour at least on the phone as well as through email and texts and I did start to wonder what we would talk about. I know it may feel like you have talked about everything, but there are always new topics to bring up. Talk about your day - it can't be the same stuff happening every single day. Now that Scott and I only talk on the phone at weekends, it gives us more new stuff to talk about. We do communicate through text and email during the week, but it's not the same as the phone.

I'd recommend one of the books I saw on the site that was about topics of conversation. I can't remember the name, but it sounded like a good book. I think it was something like 101 things to talk to your partner about. Maybe buy a copy or something similar and start to bring up a topic from that when you feel the conversation has stopped.

As for your SO getting bored of you, that's something that requires more explanation. Do they say that they are bored of talking with you? Are they insinuating that they are moving on to something "new" and more "fun"? If they haven't said something like this, then it may just be paranoia on your part. If they have, then that's a whole new problem on its own and you need to decide if the relationship is worth that much to you that you need to keep it fun all the time.

All relationships eventually stop being new and that's not always a bad thing. Even people in a close distance relationship have this issue. It can mean that you've moved past the "honeymoon" period and are now into the part of the relationship where you both feel more comfortable with each other. It happens and sometimes, if you do feel it's not new and fun, then it's not a sign that things are going wrong. It could be a sign that things are going right. I know that in my LDR, it's still fun to talk with him, but it's not so new, and to me, not so scary. I really think that you should talk to him about whether or not they feel you are "last year's play toy". If they do, then like I said, that's a different subject and would mean different conversations.

I hope I am making sense, I am not very well today and so may be just rambling. However, it's not just down to you to keep the relationship "fun" and "new" - it's a two way street and if your SO is relying on you to keeps the conversation going, then maybe you need to talk to them and say that you are worried about the fire dying. If they are treating you badly and saying that they want something more "fun" and "new", then again, you need to decide if that's what you want out of a relationship. Personally, I believe that once a relationship has started to become more real and every day life sets in, some of the fun leaves, but not all of it does. I still smile when I get a text or feel butterflies when I realise he's on the phone. There should still be some of that, I think.

I do hope I haven't offended you or made no sense. Like I said, brain not working today!

Either way, and Good Luck!

[Dezface]

When a relationship is just words, eventually you'll run out of them. It's the nature of a LDR. To combat this, my SO and I would do things like read the news while on the phone and talk about it. Or watch the same shows and converse about those. Basically we did things we would be doing if we were together. I think though too, you have to be comfortable with silence. Sometimes we would just sit on the phone with each other. It was nice just knowing he was there.

What things has your SO said/done that make you think he's bored of you?

[demonwithin]

he acts like im boring him, and gets all closed, an mad I can't start a conversation..