What to think?

[Sanja]

So I am a little confused right now and would like to hear your opinion about my situation. My SO started a new job recently. He wasn't employed for a while and during that time we messaged and skyped a lot. Since he started working, all I hear is how tired he is, and how he doesn't get enough sleep. He works Mon-Sat ten hours or more a day. Now, I understand being tired, I work 7 days and have been for the past 3 months. My problem is, since he has been at this job, all I get is a short message and 30 minutes of Skype time once a week. Today, he saw the messages I sent him on fb but never bothered to reply. I sent a message yesterday telling him how I felt and his reply was that there is nothing wrong, nothing has changed and that he loves me more than ever. I did not get a message at all today and I know he came home at a decent time. What am I supposed to think?

[kiara_silver]

My SO has recently taken on a lot more work and it has taken a lot out of him, we used to talk anywhere from 2-6 hours a day, and now its mostly messaging back and forth on fb and twice a week skype time the past couple weeks. It's hard to adjust but trying to put yourself in his shoes, when your tired all you want to do is curl up and sleep. Do you guys have a visit date? That's whats keeping me going, knowing that well have that time one on one soon. Also looking at it as its for your future, working saving putting money to the side for visits or closing the distance fund. Another suggestion is maybe scheduling a specific time focused on just you, even if once a week, or a hour, but your time? Sorry I don't have great advice but hope it all works out for you two.

[JoeyBug]

My SO has recently taken on a lot more work and it has taken a lot out of him, we used to talk anywhere from 2-6 hours a day, and now its mostly messaging back and forth on fb and twice a week skype time the past couple weeks. It's hard to adjust but trying to put yourself in his shoes, when your tired all you want to do is curl up and sleep. Do you guys have a visit date? That's whats keeping me going, knowing that well have that time one on one soon. Also looking at it as its for your future, working saving putting money to the side for visits or closing the distance fund. Another suggestion is maybe scheduling a specific time focused on just you, even if once a week, or a hour, but your time? Sorry I don't have great advice but hope it all works out for you two.

I agree with all of this, he's working long hours which means that your talking time has been cut down. If he wasn't working before it's a big adjustment to make from a lot of the time to almost nothing, but you will need to adjust to continue with the relationship. Try, as Kiara said, setting aside a time every week to talk. Also, just because he came home early or whatever doesn't mean he has to spend it with you, he could be tired still, he could have been busy with something. It doesn't mean that he's avoiding you nor does it mean that something's wrong with the relationship or anything else, it just means that maybe he had something else that needed doing or he was still tired from his previous shifts and went to bed early.

Good Luck

[dragonlady]

just give it some time once he is used to his job everything will find it's place again