Hello,
I will get right down to it, I need a place to vent these feelings and hopefully get some ideas from others here.
I met a woman online about a year ago, we got to talking and we ended up becoming good chat buddies. She is from Europe and I am in the US btw. After a few months chatting she gave me her phone number and we started texting and talking on the phone. It was honestly amazing, I had never felt a connection with a woman like this before. Things progressed under the umbrella of friendship until her birthday, I went all out and honestly outdid myself with any other gift I had done before. Around this time I thought it was important to let her know how I felt, turns out she felt the same way.
We talked everyday for months and were growing quite close, the next step was planning a trip. We had always planned on me going over there as Travel Visas wouldn't be an issue. I finally mapped out the time and asked if that would work, she told me yes of course whenever you can come is great. About a month ago she was given new job opportunities which made june impossible. we arrived at August, and I was disappointed at having to wait longer but I didn't see it as a major issue, I was still going after all. Just recently I have not heard from her as much and our regular chats have become irregular. I understand that this is part of her new job and I knew it would happen, but that was before last night. We were talking last week and she began to break down, she loses everything she loves, her mom was right that it wasn't fair to me to make me wait. What would happen when I left after the trip? Our lives were in different parts of the world. After this conversation I didn't hear from her other than a few emotes here and there in response to my messages.
So here we arrive at last night, I brought it up again and wanted to know the answer to two questions. Do you love me? and are you willing to make it work? I got a definite yes to the first and a very odd answer to the second. She said the waiting made her sick and that she didn't like waiting. I asked for a yes or no and she said she already gave her answer. I was floored, after almost a year! to have this bomb drop out of almost complete nowhere. I probably protested more than I should have and she became defensive about why I didn't want her coming to me. I realize that this must have been one of those "you have to hear this and trust me daughter" conversations added to the stress of a new job and that drag that everyone feels before summer this time of year. but I am so lost, we ended the conversation with me telling her that I knew she loved me and she knew I loved her and that unless she told me not to I was still coming to her in August. I don't believe there is someone else, I think she is just feeling the weight of the distance.
The thing that bugs me the most is the fact that she wasn't fully ready to commit to trying to make it work, who knows what is going to happen, but without both feet in the pool how am I supposed to feel comfortable fighting to make this work? Seriously to tell someone you love them, and that there is no one else for you but waiting a few months to take the next step is too much? After a year? I don't know maybe I just have a greater conviction when it comes to this relationship. Thats my story in a nutshell, thank you for reading it Anyone have any advice?
I will get right down to it, I need a place to vent these feelings and hopefully get some ideas from others here.
I met a woman online about a year ago, we got to talking and we ended up becoming good chat buddies. She is from Europe and I am in the US btw. After a few months chatting she gave me her phone number and we started texting and talking on the phone. It was honestly amazing, I had never felt a connection with a woman like this before. Things progressed under the umbrella of friendship until her birthday, I went all out and honestly outdid myself with any other gift I had done before. Around this time I thought it was important to let her know how I felt, turns out she felt the same way.
We talked everyday for months and were growing quite close, the next step was planning a trip. We had always planned on me going over there as Travel Visas wouldn't be an issue. I finally mapped out the time and asked if that would work, she told me yes of course whenever you can come is great. About a month ago she was given new job opportunities which made june impossible. we arrived at August, and I was disappointed at having to wait longer but I didn't see it as a major issue, I was still going after all. Just recently I have not heard from her as much and our regular chats have become irregular. I understand that this is part of her new job and I knew it would happen, but that was before last night. We were talking last week and she began to break down, she loses everything she loves, her mom was right that it wasn't fair to me to make me wait. What would happen when I left after the trip? Our lives were in different parts of the world. After this conversation I didn't hear from her other than a few emotes here and there in response to my messages.
So here we arrive at last night, I brought it up again and wanted to know the answer to two questions. Do you love me? and are you willing to make it work? I got a definite yes to the first and a very odd answer to the second. She said the waiting made her sick and that she didn't like waiting. I asked for a yes or no and she said she already gave her answer. I was floored, after almost a year! to have this bomb drop out of almost complete nowhere. I probably protested more than I should have and she became defensive about why I didn't want her coming to me. I realize that this must have been one of those "you have to hear this and trust me daughter" conversations added to the stress of a new job and that drag that everyone feels before summer this time of year. but I am so lost, we ended the conversation with me telling her that I knew she loved me and she knew I loved her and that unless she told me not to I was still coming to her in August. I don't believe there is someone else, I think she is just feeling the weight of the distance.
The thing that bugs me the most is the fact that she wasn't fully ready to commit to trying to make it work, who knows what is going to happen, but without both feet in the pool how am I supposed to feel comfortable fighting to make this work? Seriously to tell someone you love them, and that there is no one else for you but waiting a few months to take the next step is too much? After a year? I don't know maybe I just have a greater conviction when it comes to this relationship. Thats my story in a nutshell, thank you for reading it Anyone have any advice?
it's a hard place to be...
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