21 years old & strict parents

[Fabiana10c]

Some of you know my SO lives in Italy and he came to visit me for 5 weeks. After he left we discussed that our next visit would be me going to him which I absolutely love doing! Of course I get excited to see him but I also get excited to see his parents. His parents have become my second parents, they are extremely supportive of us and are generally the sweetest people I've ever met.

Here's the issue, my SO is from the same hometown my mom was born. So every summer I would go to him with my grandmother since she has a lot of family still there and I would stay with her. This summer she's not going so according to my parents I'm not going. My parents are very traditional. When my SO came he slept by my grandmothers (we have a 2 family house and she lives downstairs from us.) I can respect their wishes because it is their house their rules which is fine.However, I know I need to tell them I want to go visit him this summer and I will be staying with him. As I mentioned before I do have a lot of family that still lives there and I could stay with them but I don't feel comfortable staying with them. When I go visit my SO I'm always at his house except when I needed to go sleep.

I'm so nervous to tell them I want to go because I can already predict the fight that will happen. I know I'm 21 and in the end I don't need to ask them for permission to go visit him but its so hard with them. I'm so tired of fighting (more so with my mom) and I just want to talk without an argument. Time is running out because the tickets are getting more expensive by the day so I have to book something soon.

Any suggestions on how I should them I want to go visit him by myself? & stay with him? I don't know what to do or who to talk to about this. Hopefully someone has had a similar situation

[emsimes]

Do your parents like your SO? Do they not want you to see him, or are they just nervous about you traveling alone?
I know how you feel, because my mom was really against my relationship with my SO at first. She told me that I couldn't see him (even though I was 20 years old at the time) and she freaked out when he came to visit me.

In the end, I really had to have a long, honest discussion with her about my feelings for my SO. Also, when I went to visit him in Germany last summer, I gave her all my flight information, I told her everything that we were going to do over there, etc. Only then did she feel comfortable with my relationship.

I think if you talk to your parents about your relationship, tell them all about your SO and how much he means to you, then they might begin to understand. Maybe you all could have a Skype date so they could talk with him as well.
Just be honest and tell them what you want!
I know it's hard and you're scared that they will say no, but in the end, it's your life, and you have to do what's best for you!
Best of luck to you!
And feel free to PM if you need someone to talk to

[Fabiana10c]

Thank you so much it's always great to know someone understands! My Parents like him, I'd say more my dad more than my mom. It's not that she doesn't like him I think she wanted me to be with someone from here who made something of himself. Honestly I don't know but I love him no matter what.

As for traveling on my own, I think my dad would be scared for me to fly by myself since its a very long trip and I would have to take two planes. I don't find it to be a big deal at all. I'm more worried to tell them cause I can imagine the reaction I will receive. Nothing is easy with my mom it's been like that most of my life. My dad is more understanding so I was planning to talk to him first and then tell my mom.

Thanks for the advice & the friend request. Hope to stay in touch

[emsimes]

Thank you so much it's always great to know someone understands! My Parents like him, I'd say more my dad more than my mom. It's not that she doesn't like him I think she wanted me to be with someone from here who made something of himself. Honestly I don't know but I love him no matter what.

As for traveling on my own, I think my dad would be scared for me to fly by myself since its a very long trip and I would have to take two planes. I don't find it to be a big deal at all. I'm more worried to tell them cause I can imagine the reaction I will receive. Nothing is easy with my mom it's been like that most of my life. My dad is more understanding so I was planning to talk to him first and then tell my mom.

Thanks for the advice & the friend request. Hope to stay in touch

Perhaps you can talk to your dad first like you said, and then if he's comfortable with it, he can talk to your mom too?