Please some advice ...

[Mika_A]

Hey guys ...

i need some advice ...
Well back in 2006 i signed into a website (no dating site) and there i got a msg from someone. We clicked straight away (or what you can call "clicking" cause it was online). We were videochatting, exchanging pictures, talked on the phone etc etc. But in the end the distance won and we never met. He lives in Canada and i am living in the Netherlands. We were in touch till 2009. We had several partners, started our new own life. You all know how its like. And barely werent in touch.
Then talked again a little from 2010 till 2011, but super rarely, cause i got engaged (but never married, also split up) and he stepped back.
Then back in december 2012 he found me on facebook. And he wrote me a message: missing you ... same day we skyped, i remember i was wrapping xmas-gifts and he said "i still have butterflies when i see you ... i know it sounds crazy but i could never forget you and i am searching for you since months. I was soo sad, as we didnt talk.". The xmas-gift fell off my hand, cause i noticed that i feel excatly the same.

Since this moment we also chat on a regular base, like mostly daily and also skype.It feels like there was no break of years. We still have that "click".
So now a few weeks ago he suggested to meet. He invited me to Canada to visit him and to stay at his house. He said he waited 7 years and now its time. He said even if its crazy, but he never felt like that before and wants to meet the dutch girl that drives him crazy.

I feel the same, but somehow i feel super scared, cause there might be super big expectations after 7 years ... or...? Oh man, as you can see i am confused .... i have no experiences with that. So it would be great, if you can give me some advice and tell me how it went for you...?

By the way we are not 15. He is 33 and i am 30. And we both have jobs and dont live with our parents and no strings.

Thank you - Mika

[Mims27]

My SO and I were friends for some time before we became more and yeah it was very confusing and scary. Especially when we started talking about meeting finally. Expectations can be quite overwhelming and nervous making too. But in my experience those feelings disapeared the second I saw my SO for the first time. Everything just felt normal when we were together. I say, if you can do it, then go for it. If you don't, you may end up regretting it.

[libelle]

I haven't been through something similar to your situation, so I can't give you advice on personal experience. But in my opinion you should go and meet finally I believe there is someone for everyone in this world, so maybe there is a reason for, you at 30 and him at 33, to still be single and still have the same feelings for eachother And supporting what Mims27 said, since you are single and independent, it won't hurt anyone to go and visit. If you don't "click" in real life, then at least you will be sure that he isn't the one for you, and not debate about it the rest of your life if you give up on it from now

[Safihre]

Don't let him be "the one that got away"!
You have the opportunity (money/time) to go, something a lot of people here on the forum's don't.. So do it!

And if it sucks.. well.. at least you know. But judging from your story, I think you'll be fine!!

[kittyo9]

I think if you have the time and resources, you might as well take the time off and go. It's really scary to think, "Omg, I'm going to be seeing this person face-to-face for the first time!" and you have so many questions about what they're like and you worry about how they'll perceive you or how you'll perceive them... but when you meet, if it's right, it feels so right to be together, and I think this will happen for you. You can talk about it with your partner and discuss what each of your expectations are before you go-- lay down where your boundaries are for this first visit and have your partner do the same, and be open and communicate about it as much as you can. I am pretty sure you will not be disappointed.

[Moon]

I can't imagine why you wouldn't do this Sure, it's scary, the first meeting always is, but you have a forum full of people here, many of us international, and quite a few of us past 30, who can show you how well it can work! Just be brave and go for it; life is short.

[aniay]

It must be terrifying but even if you don't 'click' IRL I'm sure you will at least stay friends. I have an online friend that I've known since I was 17 and we had 6 years of non talking period but he keeps being good friend. (Even if there was a bit of chemistry going on at some point)

And really expectations can sometime prove to be completely bland comparing to reality, no matter how long you're waiting to meet your SO.

Be brave, and don't regret not trying!

Good luck!

[Verojoon]

Go! I really think you need to go!!

[Hollandia]

Me and my SO were just friends when we met in person. I was only an internet person to him before we met. He was special to me and so I decided to do it. I can only tell you this................I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo glad I took that leap. Think Nike. Just do it.

[M&T]

Hi Mika,

It is a scary, yet very exciting time. I met my SO last August and also wondered about the expectations. But when we finally hugged, all my fears and anxiety melted away and knew that I had made the right decision.

And don't think that he doesn't have the same feelings. He does.

I say you should make the trip. If you both have had these feelings for 7 years, it's time to finally act on them. It would only be heartbreaking to continue and always wonder if you could make it IRL.

Good Luck with your relationship.