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Totally smitten by him, but also confused

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    #1

    Totally smitten by him, but also confused

    Hi everyone,

    I am all new to this. I met this guy online and we chatted for over 1,5 hours. Then we phoned and were talking for 7 hours on the phone. He told me he felt a connection with me and told me several times that he loves me.
    Well, those are BIG words and for me not easily to say...and I told him that (he`s ok with that)

    That`s the first time I do this online dating thing and was actually anticipating for locals, but then he IMed me and we got to talk...
    When we phoned, I really liked his voice and he is smart and mature, does know what wants....we are 14 years apart....
    I am so confused....it kinda bothers me, but not really. I normally don`t go for his looks, but then again I seem to be so picky when I set up my profile....

    I do have feelings for him, but I am just so confused

    Are there any couples who have this age difference? Any advice
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    #2
    Well, I tend to generally date older men. My ex-husband is 15 years older than me and my current beau is 16 years older. Apparently you all have something in common, or else you wouldn't have talked for 7 hours on the phone. What exactly is confusing you?


    When we love, it isn't because the person's perfect, it's because we learn to see an imperfect person perfectly.

    True love does not worry about the distance between, for the heart and soul travels through one's words

    When two people are meant for each other, no time is too long, no distance is too far, and no one can ever tear them apart.

    1 universe, 9 planets, 7 continents, 194 countries, 50 states and 10 provinces...and I had the privilege to meet you.

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      #3
      Not as big but I've had a 10 yr gap before. Looking back (and now being closer to his age; I'm 23 almost 24 now he was 28 at the time) I do find it a bit weird. My initial worries when reading your story was him being so full on so fast. Sure it's flattering to have someone say they love you but assuming that he is at least 30 he should know that love can't really be established within 8.5 hours! I'd be conserved about him wanting you to be overly flattered by his affections and them maybe not coming from an innocent place.

      Ok so what's my actual advice!? I would take can honest look at the two if you and what attracts you to each other. Is it genuine mutual interests? Physical attraction? Where are you both in your lives, would you share the same past times? Basically without being too blunt you need to make sure he's not a predictor with a liking for younger girls who is pulling all the tricks (I love you, I've never felt a connection like we have... All this stuff after extremely limited contact is suspect to me) and actually likes you for you. You also need to think whether you like him or the idea of an older man (I liked the idea more than the actual guy!).

      But if you think he's genuine and you really like him as a person then take it slowly. age is only age in the end and as long as you are both consenting it shouldn't stop you if you don't want it to.

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        #4
        Age is just a number darling. Don't worry about that unless you're 16 years old and below... what matters is your maturity as a person in a relationship.

        My only issue is that, wow, that guy falls in love really quickly. There's a saying about people who easily fall in love: they also fall out of it rather easily. Take it slow

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          #5
          Thanks for the great advice. I was thinking about him and how can you love a person after a long chat/ phone call....
          It is so confusing....he asks me if I would take his name when we marry etc.

          It gives me the creeps....I was quite nervous on the first phone call...so I will call him later and ask him some serious questions. I am planning to visit him in September and we`ll see if we connect in person.

          I am certainly not in a rush...I have enough time.

          Thanks...wishing you all the best with your partner :-)

          Comment

            #6
            Originally posted by Kristy_W View Post
            Thanks for the great advice. I was thinking about him and how can you love a person after a long chat/ phone call....
            It is so confusing....he asks me if I would take his name when we marry etc.

            It gives me the creeps....I was quite nervous on the first phone call...so I will call him later and ask him some serious questions. I am planning to visit him in September and we`ll see if we connect in person.

            I am certainly not in a rush...I have enough time.

            Thanks...wishing you all the best with your partner :-)
            This guy sounds ridiculously creepy. He loves you and wants to marry you after 8 hours? Listen to your gut. The fact it gives you the creeps says you should run far, far away from this one.

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