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"Your bf is in another country??Aren't you worried he's cheating?"

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    #1

    "Your bf is in another country??Aren't you worried he's cheating?"

    "Your bf is in another country??Aren't you worried he's cheating?"

    ahhhh that is a quetion that annoys the heck out of me and I get asked it every now and then by people when I tell them my boyfriend is from another country and it drives me nuts. It doesn't happen that often but often enough for the stereotype to annoy me (my bf is in Memphis TN and I am in Western Australia).

    People don't need to be separated by oceans or even state lines to cheat - you could be at work or out with friends and they could be cheating. The point is you need to trust them and if you don't you shouldn't be with them.

    Sorry for the random post but just needed to vent anyone else annoyed by stereotypes on international relationships?
    ~Shaunna~

    *Distance isn't an obstacle when it comes to love, but rather a great reminder on just how strong true love can be*


    We're engaged 2014 - save $$, 2015 - get married, 2016 - make the big move!
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    #2
    Eh, I've just desensitised myself to those types of questions. I know how rough the judgement can be .

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      #3
      There was a moment I think a couple months before I went to visit my SO for the first time when my aunt was asking me the very same thing. I was thinking to myself, do I really need to defend myself and my relationship to everyone?!

      Some people just can't wrap their heads around the idea that you can be committed to someone who isn't physically present every day until they experience it themselves.
      Canadian permanent residence APPROVED!
      Closed the Distance: 09/26/2019
      Engaged: 09/26/2020

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        #4
        Originally posted by kittyo9 View Post
        There was a moment I think a couple months before I went to visit my SO for the first time when my aunt was asking me the very same thing. I was thinking to myself, do I really need to defend myself and my relationship to everyone?!

        Some people just can't wrap their heads around the idea that you can be committed to someone who isn't physically present every day until they experience it themselves.
        Totally agree with this! Shaunna, you're definitely not alone here. I get asked the same question all the time. Or worse, people bluntly tell me, "He's probably cheating on you."
        And you're right, people don't need to be far away from their SO to cheat. It could happen anywhere. I know these questions are annoying, but as long as you feel comfortable and happy with your relationship, then that's all that matters

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          #5
          Yeah, I had that happen when we were long distance. I always told them that my ex-husband was cheating right under my nose. This man is 8,000 miles away and I have absolutely no doubt that he's faithful. Distance doesn't mean anything.



          Met online: 1/30/11
          Met in person: 5/30/12
          Second visit: 9/12/12
          Closed the distance: 1/26/13!!!

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            #6
            I just tell them my SO really doesn't have the time to cheat. He's too busy working really hard to make money to see me.

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              #7
              Luckily I've managed to somehow miss out on this "lovely" stereotype.
              I guess some people might be thinking it though.
              Only thing that matters that there is trust between the two of us.

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                #8
                Oh, I love stereotypes. *sarcasm*

                I've blogged about how my family has stereotyped my SO a lot. God they even said, "Don't date Americans, they have weird schlongs."

                I've just learned, as days go by, to not care about other people's opinions as long as we love each other.

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                  #9
                  Oh my... I really try not to care, but I just have to talk back sometimes.
                  It's either that question or "Aren't you worried he's going to meet someone in HIS country ?"
                  Just the fact that he's in a different country won't make him cheat any more or less than if he was here.

                  I get asked these types of questions more frequently too because my SO is African.
                  "I've heard that Africans have multiple girlfriends or wives." "He only wants you for money." etc.
                  None of these people have been to Africa nor do they know my SO personally.

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Originally posted by chizatlauren View Post

                    I've just learned, as days go by, to not care about other people's opinions as long as we love each other.
                    I totally agree.. You should not care about other people they always try to judge you whether you are LD or CD.

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                      #11
                      Originally posted by kittyo9 View Post
                      Some people just can't wrap their heads around the idea that you can be committed to someone who isn't physically present every day until they experience it themselves.
                      Exactly. Also some people just can't understand the notion of trust in a relationship, so it's no use trying to explain that to them either.
                      I thought of you and the years and all the sadness fell away from me - Pink Floyd

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                        #12
                        It was the other way around for me: "There has to be something wrong with him if he can't find anyone where he lives."

                        You learn to ignore it :P

                        Relationship began: 05/22/2012
                        First Met: 03/21/2013 - 03/30/2013
                        Second Visit: 06/06/2013 - 08/21/2013 ~ Proposal: 07/06/2013 ♥
                        Third Visit: 10/09/2013 - 01/08/2013
                        Closed the distance: 11/20/2014 ♥
                        Married: 1/24/2015
                        Became Resident: 9/14/2015

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                          #13
                          People loooove to plant doubt in others. Thankfully I just dismiss them and tell them to take a hike. They don't need to portray their insecurities on me.
                          ”Distance means so little when someone means so much.”

                          Comment

                            #14
                            It's a gait and easy assumption for someone that's never been in an LDR. No reason to get upset just explain your take on it. If people want friends and such to be more understanding the only way to do this is through open and honest conversations.

                            So if someone asks you an out there question remember their point if reference and that they may have never experience an LDR.

                            Ignorance isn't bliss but no one can know about something until they are educated. So share.

                            Comment

                              #15
                              LOL omg I get this all the time xD
                              I usually laugh in their face and reply with a joke or something ;D

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