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    Advice please!

    It's been forever since I've actually gone on here and asked anyone for advice... I guess I've just waited til it really bothered me.

    Heres the short version:

    I've met my LD 'friend' Sean about nearly 2 years ago. We've talked everyday since then and dated about 8 or 9 months afterward. It lasted about 5 months and we kinda broke up mutually. He always told me his feelings were strong almost love but he didn't want to say it until we were finally face to face. He planned as we were dating and even afterward that he'd come here in July (he didn't). Anyway, I do have strong feelings for him, its actually stopped me from getting an actual relationship because I just can't.. About a month after we broke up he said he didn't have feelings for me but couldn't explain where the feelings went 'friendly or strong love' but it broke my heart anyway. We kept at the friends thing but honestly, its hard when he couldn't stand for me to be with another guy and neither could I with him and a girl. We fought, a lot and I told him I was done talking. That was in April, my grandmother had passed (he wanted to fight a couple days after she passed) and then forgot my birthday in the same month. I was just done. This 'no talking' lasted nearly three weeks. I was great the first week, happy and the following week my best friend introduced me to her boyfriend's friend. We hit it off and began to date but it ended in disaster. Me and Sean started talking again and I realized I couldn't get another boyfriend without feeling like crap(Sean seemed fine..he managed to get back into the one night stand thing again). Now Sean is acting like we are terrible friends. He tells me often that I am 'boring' and that he doesn't want to talk 'every day'. I don't really understand. Yes, we don't talk every day anymore and I am fine with that...I am just not sure where he is getting all this at. My mother (who is about 95% right with my relationships) tells me he still has feelings, he just knows meeting is like 10% of happening and doesn't want to get close.

    What do you all think?
    Long Distance Relationships
    Have An Urgency That Couples
    In Short Distance Relationships
    Can Only Dream Of

    #2
    have you guys still not met face to face yet?
    "how long are you going to feel bad for being yourself?" -jacky vincent


    our story
    <3 christine & donald <3
    19 & 26
    california --> canada
    we met each other in person, not online, at a Falling in Reverse concert in Las Vegas!
    been communication & visiting ever since!
    first met: 11/30/12
    first visit: to cali! 6/21/13 - 6/24/13
    second visit: to canada! 7/14/13 - 7/17/13
    to be continued...<3

    Comment


      #3
      No. He decided it was too much of a risk. He also just had to buy a new car so there went the money to get here.
      Long Distance Relationships
      Have An Urgency That Couples
      In Short Distance Relationships
      Can Only Dream Of

      Comment


        #4
        Honestly, I would not bother to pursue things with Sean unless he is willing to commit to the relationship. LDR's require more commitment than a CDR.

        He needs to dedicate himself to the relationship and go through the hardships.

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by Tooki View Post
          Honestly, I would not bother to pursue things with Sean unless he is willing to commit to the relationship. LDR's require more commitment than a CDR.

          He needs to dedicate himself to the relationship and go through the hardships.
          Yes, this.

          And it's unhealthy being friends with someone who, for years, has prevented you from having a successful relationship. My opinion is once you successfully cut ties with Sean, and work on the repercussions of that, and learn from your 20/20 hindsight, you will find yourself having better chances at more successful relationships.

          Sean is stringing you along and you need to let him go. He's not contributing anything positive to your friendship. Why keep him around?

          Comment


            #6
            i would say there are only one of two options that need to happen here:

            1) you guys make a concrete plan to meet in person & go from there.

            2) you guys stop communicating all together.

            you need to meet in person for the next step to happen!
            "how long are you going to feel bad for being yourself?" -jacky vincent


            our story
            <3 christine & donald <3
            19 & 26
            california --> canada
            we met each other in person, not online, at a Falling in Reverse concert in Las Vegas!
            been communication & visiting ever since!
            first met: 11/30/12
            first visit: to cali! 6/21/13 - 6/24/13
            second visit: to canada! 7/14/13 - 7/17/13
            to be continued...<3

            Comment


              #7
              Thank you for the feedback everyone. We have actually tried to stop talking a few times and its really something that can't happen. I have no idea why, its like something keeps bringing us back. I have ran over everything in my mind and I pretty much get what he's doing here. With the cost of a flight (honestly, that's A LOT of money for both of us right now) Sean is a 'realist' and he has figured meeting at this moment is pretty much impossible so he doesn't want to get too excited about meeting yet but knows it can/will happen. I think meeting halfway (Ireland) in the next year or so is more possible. Like I said, he doesn't want to keep planning and he does get very very frustrated that we can't meet anytime soon. I think slowly 'cutting the ties' and letting myself try to get out there while we still try to be positive about meeting is the way to go, hopefully.
              Long Distance Relationships
              Have An Urgency That Couples
              In Short Distance Relationships
              Can Only Dream Of

              Comment

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