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    #16
    Originally posted by kane22 View Post
    i'd love to move to go university overseas and be with her cause shes already told me shes not waiting if i go to university here no matter how much she loved me.
    Hey, your situation is a really tough one. And I so admire your determination! I agree with other posters who've said you need to do what's best for your situation and your future. But by "your" I mean you--not necessarily you and your SO.

    Honestly, the quote above makes me a little nervous for you. Being a cautious person, I'd really hope you are putting yourself and your hopes for your future first and do what you need to to make that work for you. And if it's meant to work out, she'll be there for you. I'd just hate to see you, especially so young, end up uprooting your life and changing your plans to see that there are more things she's not ready or willing to wait on.

    There are things she's willing and not willing to do. What are some of YOUR deal-breakers? Does she take your expectations as seriously? Relationships require sacrifice, but from both partners. You might want to have a conversation with her about both your expectations and limits are to make sure you're not sacrificing too much too fast.
    1st, 2nd, & 3rd Dates: Nov. 2009
    Separation/Online "Friendship": Dec. 2009 - Feb. 2012
    1st Visit: March 2012
    2nd Visit: May 2012
    3rd Visit: July 2012
    First I love yous: August 2012
    Next Visit: Hopefully this winter!

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      #17
      Sorry to jump on the thread, you're 18 yet still in year 11? That's weird lol, what are your school class ages? I'm from the UK, and my SO is from Spain and we've both got to get through Uni before deciding anything major in our relationship but we are willing to wait (He will start looking at Uni's next year, two years for me and then the course I want to do is three years long). Again with the above, I think if she really loved you she would wait. It is a big ask of you to up-root your whole life when she says she can throw away your relationship by the simple fact of you going to uni in Australia, it's not a decision to make lightly and if I was you I would be worried she isn't truely commited to the relationship...

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        #18
        Originally posted by Bex2804 View Post
        Sorry to jump on the thread, you're 18 yet still in year 11? That's weird lol, what are your school class ages? I'm from the UK, and my SO is from Spain and we've both got to get through Uni before deciding anything major in our relationship but we are willing to wait (He will start looking at Uni's next year, two years for me and then the course I want to do is three years long). Again with the above, I think if she really loved you she would wait. It is a big ask of you to up-root your whole life when she says she can throw away your relationship by the simple fact of you going to uni in Australia, it's not a decision to make lightly and if I was you I would be worried she isn't truely commited to the relationship...
        Nah 17 haha don't know why it says 18 i did my right 1996 anyways i know exactly what you're talking about i'm thinking the same thing but shes already in Uni and got a 5 year course so she is set and ready and she says she cant wait any longer after i finish school next year, however i am readt to change my life to just be with her. I also wished she would do the same :/
        Last edited by kane22; August 6, 2013, 09:14 AM.

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          #19
          Originally posted by AppleDog22 View Post
          Hey, your situation is a really tough one. And I so admire your determination! I agree with other posters who've said you need to do what's best for your situation and your future. But by "your" I mean you--not necessarily you and your SO.

          Honestly, the quote above makes me a little nervous for you. Being a cautious person, I'd really hope you are putting yourself and your hopes for your future first and do what you need to to make that work for you. And if it's meant to work out, she'll be there for you. I'd just hate to see you, especially so young, end up uprooting your life and changing your plans to see that there are more things she's not ready or willing to wait on.

          There are things she's willing and not willing to do. What are some of YOUR deal-breakers? Does she take your expectations as seriously? Relationships require sacrifice, but from both partners. You might want to have a conversation with her about both your expectations and limits are to make sure you're not sacrificing too much too fast.
          Thanks for the help, i don't mind changing my life and sacrificing everything if tshe treats me right, wants to be
          with me and wont hurt me i guess, some people may say i'm stupid for what i'm doing but she's so amazing and beautiful and she treats me so well and we have a connection ive had like no other girl. She knows what shes doing with her life and she wants me to be apart of it but some days she doubts us and that does hurt cause im making so many sacrifices for us

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            #20
            I moved to a different country to be with someone... my ex. I don't regret my decision but it was incredibly difficult when I had to move out and realize that apart from my ex's family, I had ABSOLUTELY NO SUPPORT in the new country at all. It's made me a better person and actually I feel that's what made me into a "real" adult, being pushed out on my own to figure things out, and being in this country has allowed me to meet my current (and hopefully last ) boyfriend.

            Just something to bear in mind. I was 19 when I made the decision to "move for love" and it sounded so grand and romantic and just RIGHT, but you just can't know how everything will turn out. You need to be prepared if it turns out differently than you wanted or wished.
            So, here you are
            too foreign for home
            too foreign for here.
            Never enough for both.

            Ijeoma Umebinyuo, Diaspora Blues

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              #21
              sorry this message doubled up :/
              Last edited by kane22; August 6, 2013, 10:31 AM.

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                #22
                Originally posted by Ejoriah View Post
                I moved to a different country to be with someone... my ex. I don't regret my decision but it was incredibly difficult when I had to move out and realize that apart from my ex's family, I had ABSOLUTELY NO SUPPORT in the new country at all. It's made me a better person and actually I feel that's what made me into a "real" adult, being pushed out on my own to figure things out, and being in this country has allowed me to meet my current (and hopefully last ) boyfriend.

                Just something to bear in mind. I was 19 when I made the decision to "move for love" and it sounded so grand and romantic and just RIGHT, but you just can't know how everything will turn out. You need to be prepared if it turns out differently than you wanted or wished.
                Wow sad about what happened with your ex but glad your happy with your current boyfriend, i know what you mean by it feels romantic and right i have the same feeling and im hoping everything works out with me and my girlfriend. I see her for 16 nights when i leave in 2 months and it will be a great test it will be the 2nd time i see her and first time in her country nervous and excited i would of loved to see her longer but cant any miss any school or i risk being kicked out im looking forward to the challenges that lye ahead as im ready to do anything for her

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                  #23
                  I'm not trying to be pessimistic, but just be careful.

                  If I were you I'd do the right thing for YOU, not for the relationship. Sorry to say it but not many relationships at 18 work out in the long term and don't do what I did and put school back and do everything for someone for it not to work out anyway. If the relationship is meant to be, she will wait a long, long time for you....

                  I really wish you good luck.

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                    #24
                    It right pisses me off when people say "If she loves you she will wait" and "Do what's right for you", seriously, there are two people in a relationship and waiting might not be what's right for her - regardless of love. Just as moving might not be right for you regardless of love.

                    End mini rant there.

                    Tooki has given great advice, good luck
                    Happily married to the little Canadian boy I never thought I'd meet in person

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                      #25
                      Originally posted by Zephii View Post
                      It right pisses me off when people say "If she loves you she will wait" and "Do what's right for you", seriously, there are two people in a relationship and waiting might not be what's right for her - regardless of love. Just as moving might not be right for you regardless of love.

                      End mini rant there.

                      Tooki has given great advice, good luck
                      i understand with the rant, however she is willing to wait but she doesn't want to move to Australia due to shes in a 5 year uni course and her family would never let her but i can see where your coming from because what if everything stuffs up and my future is on a standstill but it is a risk i want to do but yeah im a little worried :/

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                        #26
                        Originally posted by kane22 View Post
                        i understand with the rant, however she is willing to wait but she doesn't want to move to Australia due to shes in a 5 year uni course and her family would never let her but i can see where your coming from because what if everything stuffs up and my future is on a standstill but it is a risk i want to do but yeah im a little worried :/

                        Sounds a little bit like she expects you to be the flexible one... I think you both have to meet in the middle and I wouldn't be comfortable being the one who is having to do all the work and take all the risks.

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