His Familys
Quick background...me USA, him UK, we met in Uk when I was there for work, but now have LDR online and havent been able to reconnect (have plans to in December and march and once and for all,forever in jan 2015) I am 34 he is 21. He lives at home and works and goes to uni. I work and go to uni/college and live with my children in US.
His mother recently came across letters we had to one another that talked about marriage in our future and freaked out, she knew we were close but didnt know how close and talking about our future. She is im sure worried he will be leaving and coming here and as a mother I obviously understand her fears. Yet she issuds an ultimatum to BF last month, told him to stop the internet relationship or move out. At the time he was between jobs, now he isnt and he is working but still in school and cant afford to live on his own. His plan is to live there one more year before moving here, no point in getting his own place just before coming here.
BF didnt tell me this that his mother said, in fact he said to me what happened if she gave him that choice as a WHAT IF to me....I was being emotional and said wouldnt matter I would leave before that happened and not let you have to choose between family and me. He took that kept it in and choose not to tell me what his mother said and has kept me now secret for some time so he didnt risk loosing me. I found out yesterday once and for all he had to tell me as he has been trying to intercept my mail but with his new job its getting harder and harder and his family is getting suspicious and if they find out he is out. He has been trying to keep things as normal as possible by not asking me to stop mail ext and now its just getting to much.
I thought about pushing the mother to accepting us by talking to her or both of us talking to her, but she is not the most rational person. He is an adult and needs to stand up to her but at the same time if she feels this strongly she will kick him out bottom line, and thats a risk we dont want to take as it effects our plan. It sucks being hidden but he and I are ready to do it if thats whats needed to keep things going.
Thoughts advice?
His mother recently came across letters we had to one another that talked about marriage in our future and freaked out, she knew we were close but didnt know how close and talking about our future. She is im sure worried he will be leaving and coming here and as a mother I obviously understand her fears. Yet she issuds an ultimatum to BF last month, told him to stop the internet relationship or move out. At the time he was between jobs, now he isnt and he is working but still in school and cant afford to live on his own. His plan is to live there one more year before moving here, no point in getting his own place just before coming here.
BF didnt tell me this that his mother said, in fact he said to me what happened if she gave him that choice as a WHAT IF to me....I was being emotional and said wouldnt matter I would leave before that happened and not let you have to choose between family and me. He took that kept it in and choose not to tell me what his mother said and has kept me now secret for some time so he didnt risk loosing me. I found out yesterday once and for all he had to tell me as he has been trying to intercept my mail but with his new job its getting harder and harder and his family is getting suspicious and if they find out he is out. He has been trying to keep things as normal as possible by not asking me to stop mail ext and now its just getting to much.
I thought about pushing the mother to accepting us by talking to her or both of us talking to her, but she is not the most rational person. He is an adult and needs to stand up to her but at the same time if she feels this strongly she will kick him out bottom line, and thats a risk we dont want to take as it effects our plan. It sucks being hidden but he and I are ready to do it if thats whats needed to keep things going.
Thoughts advice?