I would love some advice on my current situation.

[Tjabby]

Hello LFAD.

I have a little situation that is bothering me slightly, so I would like to seek a little advice from you.

A little background story, I met a girl online for about 6 months ago and we've been in an LDR for about 2 months now. We talk everyday for several hours and it's all amazing and great and we both love each other veeeeeeeery much! - and the best thing is that we're spending one month together next year. It's going to be amazing!

Anyway, after she's graduating College in 3 years she wants me to move to US with her to study at NYU. We're both from Europe. Now, I would loooooooove to move to the US with her and study abroad with her at the same University, but I have no idea if I'm capable of doing this.

First of all, I have no idea if I'm good enough for a University such as NYU, but that's not a big matter, I can always find something different I guess.There's just so much stuff about citizenship and what not because I have no relation to the US at all. There's insane amounts of stuff that has to planned. also, I don't think my parents would like me going to the US. It's just soo overwhelming and it gives this huge weight on my shoulder.

I asked her if she would break up with me if I don't come with her, she said no but she was like it won't work if I don't come with her because there is no way that we can see each other she said, which I disagree on; I can always visit her in breaks.

I would love to move to the US with her, but I think in 3 years I will be 20 and I don't know, it's not sounding too comfortable for me.

So... I don't know what to do, right now I'm just not thinking about and more thinking about the month we're going to spend together next year.
It's just not cool to know that there's a possible end date of things. I really love this girl and I will do everything but her, I really want to go to the US
with her but I don't know it just seems so overwhelming and unpossible right now.

So do any of you know if it's really that hard moving to the US at the age of 20? I have no idea. Thank you for reading.

[princessmaria]

It's not impossible, but it definitely will take some time. If I were you, I really wouldn't worry about something so far away from now. You're in a fairly new relationship and you're already stressing over the future, that's no good! It's okay to make goals, but if you're stressing about them and they aren't short term goals, then just try to relax.

As for your other question. Yes, it'll be difficult moving to US let alone getting accepted into NYU. It will be difficult for you and your SO. I would suggest to her coming up with an alternate plan as well. Ask her if she'd be interested in going to school in Denmark, or see if you'd like to go to school in Turkey (both of these being way better and more realistic alternatives).

But still, if I were the both of you I'd just be concerned with seeing each other as often as possible, accumulating time together IRL so that you know you'll be able to co-exist in person before you jump to closing the distance plans. It's nice to have a sort of end-date in sight, but don't let it overwhelm you. Good luck!

[Safihre]

First make it through this and next year but keep up your grades!
Getting into college or master's program in the US is not something you can just 'do', I know because my girlfriend is from Bulgaria and is doing her undergrad there in Johns Hopkins University (#11 of world) and I did an internship there. It's not like here in the Netherlands were enrolling in the best university (#66 of world, not too bad!) is just 3 clicks on the government's website..
You need amazing grades (for NYU like universities), money, recommendations, SAT/GRE tests, more money, visa's, etc etc..

But.. Don't get scared, people do it. But first keep your relationship healthy and make sure it's worth it!

[Tjabby]

Yes, you're right with not worrying about something so far away from now, and it is going pretty good with not thinking about it, we're focusing on our meeting next year. I do know it's a farily new relationship and all, but it still kind of bothers me sometimes, the fact that I know there is a possible end date to everything, well who knows? I mean she doesn't even know if she's going there for sure yet.

I just really really love her, I don't want anything to part us, but I'm afraid that she will stop everything if we don't get together somehow after both of us graduating. I will wait forever for her, but I don't know how much she is willing to wait for me when it comes to the point.

Oh well, I guess we'll see where things goes. Thanks for your replies guys.

[kittyo9]

I would not focus so much on "moving to the US" right now as just going to school (graduate school?) within the US. This process is like 100x easier than actually moving to the US and becoming a resident without ties to the US first. To go to school in the US, you just have to be accepted to a school that is willing to work with you to get you a student visa, and then that's it, you just come rent an apartment and you go to school here. You will, however, need to measure up to that school's standards, and I would definitely recommend applying to multiple schools in the area if you can to increase your chances of being accepted somewhere in the US. You will need $$ to pay for rent, food, books, etc., so you may want to start saving for that now. Standardized tests like the GRE (if you're going to grad school) and TOEFL also cost a lot of money (like $200 each when you factor in sending your scores and stuff).